Wednesday, December 16, 2020

And now for a little less pricey luxury...

Yesterday, Pink Slip window shopped for the highest of the high end Neiman-Marcus Fantasy Gifts. For the most part, not my fantasies, mind you, but a nice little peek at what the ultra-ultras - the 0.1 percenters - might be indulging in this Christmas, if they're looking to spend in the quarter-million plus-or-minus $100K range. 

Today, I'm dropping down into one-percenter land to see what's on offer if you've got mere thousands of dollars burning a hole in your Vuitton pocketbook.

Now the French Fry Rainbow Clutch is something that I might have picked up as a gag gift in the late, lamented Filene' Basement if I saw it there for fifteen bucks. But, seriously folks, if you were going to spent $5,695 on a pocketbook, wouldn't it be something a bit more serious? Something you could use most days, wearing it to death?

Still, the French Fry Clutch looks practical compared to the Christian Louboutin Shimmery Red Sole Pump Clutch Bag for $3,990. Yowza! Are you familiar with the expression "you could poke your eye out with that"? Because with this clutch, you surely could. On the upside, I guess it could double as a weapon if you were trying to evade a bag snatcher. But what if you fell while running in your Louboutin Red Sole Pumps (which are what we used to call spikes; pumps, back in the day, were a bit more sensible, shoe-wise).

Bags are a big deal on the luxury front. Of course, you probably don't want to pay $5,695 for a nifty new backpack for your kid. Or even the relatively more reasonable $3,990. But you have to start 'em on the luxury trail young. So there's this:
Only $1,250. And if you really can't afford it, there's a plan - as there seem to be for a number of the items - where you can pay $113 a month. (Maybe it's just me, but if you have to buy your kid a backpack on time, I think you'd be better off picking something up at Target. Not to mention that if any kid had showed up at my grammar school wearing this, they would have been laughed out of the schoolyard, and would have gotten nowhere near $1,250 worth of value out of it.)

And I know I'm spending way too much time on bags, but for the man in your life, how about $1,095 for a fanny belt pack.  And I'm going to say it: anyone who'd pay $1,095 for this has entirely too much money. 

The luxury menu is by no means entirely baggy. Why, there's this Pave Skull for $9,500. I'm not quite sure what sort of decor this would fit with. Not mine, for sure. And there's no indication of what size it is. Is it 3" tall, or standard adult skull size? My sister Trish likes Day of the Dead stuff. Hers are more of the made-of-clay variety, but she may be wanting to up her aesthetic, switching from eclectic liberal elite to let's-flaunt-ugly Texan. Too bad we don't exchange gifts...

Then there's these sitting balls. Doesn't that look like $1,095 a piece worth of fun? I'd just like to know if it comes with liability insurance in case someone reaches for their drink and ends up bonking their head on that glass table.

And who in their right mind would want a $25,000 24 k gold Mike Tyson boxing glove. First, boxing. Foremost, Mike Tyson??? (If you don't like boxing/Tyson, you can swap this out for a 24 k gold Joe Montana and Jerry Rice football helmet.) 

Finally, I'm not going anywhere soon, but if I were, I'd sure be happy to bring along my bev of choice in this Versace Medusa travel mug ($1,100).
And with that, I'm Neiman Marcus window shopped out. Fortunately, it didn't cost me a dime. 

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