I think it's safe to say that toys back in the day were actually a lot more dangerous.
My sister Kathleen had a toy iron that would have plugged in and heated up to burna-burna level if my mother hadn't taken the plug off and replaced it with a suction cup.
I had a stuffed poodle with eyes that were on a corkscrew-like screw and that were pretty easy to pull out. If I'd been a kid bent on violence, I could have caused some harm.
Then there was Creeple People Thingmaker, a kit that included plastic goop and a mold that heated up to about a billion degrees so that you could bake the goop into a Creeple People.
Despite having access to these and other toys that were completely and utterly hazardous, I never made a toy-related trip to the ER. My one and only excursion there was to get a tetanus shot after I got bitten by Blackie, the outsized German Shepherd owned by the Hurley family (cop father; two cop sons). I was just walking by, quite innocently, on my way home from school when Blackie hurtled himself off the Hurley's front porch and bit me in the arm. Trust me when I say that I could have been voted "Child Least Likely to Provoke a Dog". Nonetheless, the theory (according to the Hurleys) held that I must have been unconsciously swinging my bright green and yellow Our Lady of the Angels book bag, a provocation similar to waving a red flag in front of a bull.
Of my sibs, the only toy-and-game related ER excursions I recall were made by my brother Rick, who once tried to ski (on a pair of mini-toy-sized skis) down a pile of cushions he'd stacked up in the den. However he ended up, he tore something open that called for stitches. Another time, he broke his nose playing baseball. Not quite sure whether this merited the ER. After all, it was just a broken nose. Put your head back, use a cold compress until the bleeding stops, and put a bandage across the bridge of your nose.
Despite being an old fart survivor of the Golden Age of Dangerous Toys, I laud the work of W.A.T.C.H.
Unless you're eyes on 24/7, you can't prevent your kids from doing themselves some harm with a toy, whether they're using them for the toy's original purpose or not. After all, as anyone who was ever had a child or been a child and/or had siblings or has observed children at play can attest, anything and everything can be turned into a weapon. Still, toys obviously shouldn't be created that pose a clear and present danger.
For over four decades, W.A.T.C.H. has tackled the issue of dangerous toys in the hope of bringing about change and reducing injuries to children. Nonetheless, dangerous toys remain on store shelves, in catalogues, and on e-tailers’ websites. Shockingly, classic toy dangers, such as small parts, strings, projectiles, toxic substances, rigid materials, and inaccurate warnings and labels, continue to reappear in new generations of toys putting children at risk.
Sigh.
So what's on the hit parade for 2020?
CALICO CRITTERS have small parts that are choking hazards for oral-age kids. And they're the right shape, size and cuteness for an oral-age kid to glom their mouths onto.
THE MISSILE LAUNCHER What kid wouldn't want one of these? Come on! A weapon that's can be used as a weapon? Sweeet! It comes with a warning not to aim at people or animals. Right. You really could put someone's eye out with this one.
MARVEL AVENGERS VIBRANIUM POWER FX CLAW would be a big hit with Black Panther fans. Sure the package advises "do not hit or swing at people or animals." But do you really think a 5 year old reads the packaging? Not to mention that it's designed to take a swing.
GLORIA OWL is sold from Home Goods on up to Saks.
It's plenty creepy, and I'm not embarrassed to admit that, at a certain age - way before W.A.T.C.H. began going after bad toys - I would have liked it. But Gloria sheds, and if some of that distinctly non-owl like wispy "hair" gets sucked in by an infant, there could be respiratory problems.
SCI-FI SLIME is, not surprisingly, harmful if swallowed, and is "not to be used by children except under adult
supervision," which is pretty much no kid who has ever drawn breath's idea of a swell toy.
THE BOOMERANG INTERACTIVE STUNT UFO looks, from the right angle, like a kitchen fan. A kitchen fan wouldn't have boomerang properties, but, like this toy, "can cause damage to the user, spectators and
animals….” who might get hurt by a kids tossing it back and forth or doing tricks with it, both of which are encouraged behaviors. Tossing back and forth? Isn't the entire purpose of a boomerang is that you throw it and it comes back all on its very own?
BOOM CITY RACECARS "are sold with a ripcord 'launcher'" to get them moving. As long as you don't launch it at an animal, someone else's eyes or face, or your own eyes or face, instructions that are bound to be heeded by the average 4 year old.
MY SWEET LOVE LOTS TO LOVE BABIES MINIS is a cutesy little doll that comes with accessories like a mini little spoon and a mini little bottle that are for "doll use only." Good thing 2 year olds have excellent reading comprehension and ability to proceed with caution.
STAR WARS MANDALORIAN DARKSABER users are "encouraged to 'SWING FOR BATTLE...!' with this lightsaber, while at the same time warned NOT to "swing, poke or jab at people or
animals." Just how much fun is swinging a lightsaber if you can't make contact with something or someone. Big swing and a miss!
WWE JUMBO SUPERSTAR FISTS are inexpensive - just four bucks - and what sane-minded parent wouldn't want their 3 year old donning these fists and pretending that they're a wrestler. Of course, no sane-minded parent would buy this. But I can see plenty of uncles getting it for the little guy in their life.
W.A.T.C.H. urges those shopping for toys "shop defensively" and "spread the word" about toys that are unsafe at any speed. Keeping in mind that almost everything requires adult supervision for all children under a certain age, and for some children until they become adults and beyond, I'd add that any toy that requires adult supervision isn't much of a toy.
Anyway, a shout out to W.A.T.C.H. for trying to make Toyland a safer place for the kiddos.
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