Friday, January 27, 2012

Kodachrome: True colors are fading (or maybe just showing).

The other day, I was in the car with my niece Molly, driving near her old grammar school.

“Oh, no,” she gasped.

The ice cream shop where she and her friends had hung out after school during seventh and eighth grade had shuttered.

Molly’s in ninth grade, so this hanging out was just last year.

Welcome to the wonderful world of grown ups, honey, where the places, things, and  - oh, yeah – people we remember are so often, as we get older, gone, baby, gone. Alive only in our memories, or in snapshots, if we’d bothered to take them.

At my age, there’s no end to objects in the rear view mirror, often farther away than they appear. My childhood Friendly’s has closed. Don’t even ask about the stores of my childhood – I’m even (almost) capable of nostalgia for Zayre’s tawdry merchandise and garish red and yellow bags. Filene’s Basement breathed its last right around Christmas. And let’s not get started on the products of the past – although many of them seem to take on new lives in the pages of the Vermont Country Store catalog. (I believe you can still set your hair with Spoolies and Dippity Do, if you so desire. And dry it with a bouffant-bubble hair dryer.)

And now, it seems, a brand far more ubiquitous and venerable than Dippity Do may have breathed its last.

Eastman Kodak – which once held a near monopoly on the US amateur photography business - has filed for bankruptcy.

Although I am not one myself, I come from a family (at least on my mother’s side) of picture-takers. And until my father came home one Christmas with a Polaroid, like everyone else’s, ours was a Kodak family.

At first, my mother’s family had pictures taken: stiff family portraits to send back to the Old Country.

Then my grandfather made a wonderful Amerikan purchase which, I would bet anything, was an early version of a Kodak Brownie.

The Wolfs took pictures of everything and everyone.

My sister Trish may still have the carton full of 1930's and 40’s black and white snapshots of my grandparents and their friends (unrecognizable to us), and of my mother and her sibs.

And so, we get to see my mother grow from the stiff immigrant in the studio portrait, to the skinny big sis, to the bookish high school nerd with glasses, to the (almost glamour puss) young woman in her twenties who fell hard for the Irischer sailor boy from Worcester, Mass.

We have far fewer pictures of my father to trace his progression – until he met the Wolfs and became a regular photographic subject and picture taker, himself.

There is the large-group family picture of the children and grandchildren on Matthew and Bridget Trainor, my father an infant in my grandmother’s lap, face blurred because he turned his head. Then there’s nothing until his high school graduation picture.

Or so we thought until my cousin Barbara unearthed a picture of my father, age 14 or so, the shortest and scrawniest member of the South High football team of 1926.

At first, I couldn’t find him in the picture. And then, there he was.

How could I not recognize him?

Although they don’t look at all like each other, each of my brothers is the spit and image of my father.

(Perhaps because he so seldom posed for pictures as a child, my father never got into the habit of looking into the camera and saying “cheese.” In most of the pictures we have of him, if my father is pictured with someone else – my mother, one of us kids – he is, quite winningly, looking (and smiling) at us.)

As for the Rogers’ family, the camera that recorded our mostly informal goings and comings was a Kodak Brownie, a little bakelite camera that took black and white pictures, only.

Yes, there were pictures taken of Baptisms and Holy Communions, but most were us just hanging around, Kodak moments waiting to happen. The neighbor kids standing around a tree that Hurricane Irene toppled in 1959. Or the Rogers and Dineen kids, along with our kid Aunt Kay, posed in front of the stone wishing well at my grandmother Wolf’s lake house. My friend Susan and I – age 7 – horsing around in the backyard in diapers, sucking our thumbs, pretending we were babies.

Pictures came back from the drugstore in envelopes emblazoned with the yellow and red Kodak logo – a far more famous use of this color scheme than the Zayre’s bags. The pictures often had scalloped edges, and most had a date stamp on the bottom (May 55). You also got back a set of negatives, which came in strips, that you used if you wanted to make copies.

For occasions that warranted color film, we borrowed the McGinns’ more updated Kodak camera.

And, although my mother hung on to that Brownie, some where along the line, the family broke down and bought a Kodak Instamatic, which took pictures in color.

But our big switch was to the Polaroid, which captured the family’s imagination for a couple of years, even though no one ever figured out how to consistently take pictures that weren’t blurry around the edges.

Polaroid. Another great brand of my childhood.

Perhaps, like Polaroid, Kodak will emerge from bankruptcy with something (their name, at minimum) intact. Perhaps, like Polaroid, Kodak will name someone like Lady Gaga as their creative director.

Perhaps the brand will just fade away entirely, a victim of its own failure to embrace the wave of technology that turned into a tsunami.

Kodak won’t be the first – hey, I worked for Wang Labs when they were still clinging to the mini-computer – and they won’t be the last. All part of the creative destruction of capitalism. And isn’t it better to be able to take a picture, anytime/anywhere, on your smartphone? And just get Snapfish to print them off for you? No muss, no fuss, no negatives.

So why is the Kodak bankruptcy such a bummer?

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Thursday, January 26, 2012

De(bed)bugging: help is on the way.

Long time Pink Slip readers know that I have been on the bed bug case for a good long while. My first post was way back in 2008, and I’ve been at it since, with subsequent posts on bed bug tracking dogs, and even a public service announcement penned after my husband and I got nipped by the pesky pests on a September 2010 trip to NYC. For months, we lived in a State of Fear that we had brought one back with us – a pregnant one, of course – and  infested our condo. Hundreds of dollars (and a full two months) later – new pillows, bedbug proof pillow cases and mattress cover, a bed bug detector, cedar spray – we finally got a good night’s sleep.bed bug

Still, I know that some in my family persist in their belief that I remain obsessed with bed bugs.

Thus, my Christmas gift this year from my wonderfully good-humored niece Molly was a stuffed bed bug, pictured here, posed on my otherwise bed bug free duvet cover.

While I wholeheartedly deny that I am obsessed with bed bugs - absurd, that – I will concede that I keep up with the latest bb news with admittedly keen interest. Recognizing this, my brother-in-law Rick e-mailed me when he saw an article in a recent Economist that help may be on its long overdue way.

At first, the article painted a grim picture about the “vampiric” little buggers that can “drink seven times their own weight in blood in a night”, that continue to plague hoteliers (and flat-dwellers) in New York City, and that are growing concern to hotel staff (and guests) elsewhere. But while everyone is looking for bed bugs – and I can sympathize and empathize with those on the hunt – they’re difficult to find:

Even trained pest-control inspectors can miss them. What is needed is a way to flush them into the open. And James Logan, Emma Weeks and their colleagues at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and Rothamsted Research think they have one: a bed-bug trap baited with something the bugs find irresistible—the smell of their own droppings.

I’ll all for whatever works, and:

The reason the bugs are attracted to this smell is that they use it to navigate back to their hidey-holes after a night of feeding.

Having discovered that shit happens to be a good way to woo bed bugs, Dr. Logan has designed a trap. Since the team is understandably hoping to cash in on their idea, the details are scant. But it sounds like it might be like those mouse-traps with the glue pan. I once trapped a kitchen mouse with one of these, and I have to say that, once I found the little critter squirming around trying to free itself, I wish I’d chosen the trickier but quicker old-fashion spring the trap and break its neck approach. I assure you that one does not feel good putting a glue-stuck mouse in a couple of plastic bags and crushing it underfoot.

Trapping bed bugs in glue I would feel less guilty about. They’re only around today because we had to protect the environment by banning DDT. They’re the collateral damage of this ban. To hell with them.

I hope I never need to use one of their traps, but I am thrilled that the London researchers are doing something to de-bug the world.

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

‘Til death do us party-hearty!

It’s easy to think that the funeral business will always be with us.

After all, everyone dies. And those left behind, if nothing else, have to figure out what to do with the body. What with the Baby Boomers about to start their stroll through the lonely valley, you’d think that the demand forecast would be pretty darned good. Especially when you consider that the first of what promises to be many Me Generations won’t want to go out in a boring pine box while the organist plays the impersonal Ave Maria, I would assume that there’d be a lot of lucrative customization work out there.

Still, with folks ordering bargain-price casket from Walmart, funeral directors are on the lookout for new ways to make a buck. Last year, here in the Commonwealth, they were looking to serve food at funeral parlors. (See Wake Me When The Coffee’s Perking.)

And for a lot of funeral homes – 8.3% of the National Funeral Directors Association respondents in a 2010 survey – non-funeral events are now part of their suite of offerings, with funeral parlors sometimes capitalizing on the impact that the down economy has had on function halls that don’t serve an “anchor function,” such as funerals. So they’re now offering a venue for birthday parties. Graduations. Weddings.

Why not?

Memorial Park Funeral Home and Cemetery in Memphis is one of those that does weddings. You can’t find the info directly on the home page, competing side-by-side with cremation info. But it can be found under About, where you learn that:

Weddings play an integral part in the life of Memorial Park. Each year, couples take advantage of our picturesque grounds and exchange their vows here.

I like that “life of the Memorial Park.”

Ceremonies are permitted (free of charge) at the Crystal Shrine Grotto, Rose Garden, God's Garden, Cave of Machpelah, or Front Fountain. Memorial Park is glad to provide couples a beautiful setting to tie the knot and wishes them well!

I’m glad that the folks at Memorial wish the newlyweds well. Wonder how the bereaved feel about seeing folks posing for wedding party pictures at the Cave of Machpelah while they’re grieving at the Crystal Shrine Grotto. Ah, well. Life belongs to the living. Or so I’ve heard.

For me, I wouldn’t want to, say, attend a wedding at St. Joseph’s Cemetery in Leicester, Mass. It’s not all that picturesque. Plus it was built on top of an underground spring, and it’s pretty darned soggy.

But Mt. Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge? The grand-daddy of all cemeteries as park? It’s pretty darned beautiful there.

Mt. Auburn, of course, would just be the venue for the wedding ceremony. And they’re just a cemetery, not a funeral home. But some funeral parlors do offer the full package – reception and all.

Across the USA, funeral homes are building and marketing such centers as not just a place to mourn the dead but as sites for events celebrating the living, including weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, holiday parties and proms.

The lure? It is often less expensive; there is greater availability; and the settings — inside and outside — can be nothing short of wedding-picture perfect. (Source: USA Today.)

In a circle of life kind of way, this all makes perfect sense.

Your funeral may be the big kahuna, but it’s just one event in the entire passel of events that make up a life. And if you lived your life in the same place, it’d be easy to see how a lot of important events could end up taking place under the same roof, which would make a funeral even more of the stroll down memory lane than it’s going to be anyway.

There’s where we posed for prom pictures, the night we first did “it.”

I’m so glad that we had our wedding next to the family plot. It really made me feel like Grandma and Grandpa were with us.

Here’s where we had little Billy’s fifth birthday party, the one where the pony nipped that obnoxious Carlson kid in the butt.

I never liked your mother, and I’ll be dipped if I clean that bird crap off her headstone.

Ah, our 25th anniversary “do”, when you wrenched your back doing the limbo.

Yep, expanding the functions that a funeral parlor can host makes perfect sense. I guess all you need is separate entrances so that the puking prom kids don’t run into the mourners. And that the Chucky Cheese attractions that will draw in the kiddo  birthday parties are out of the sightlines of the wake attenders. Other than that, why not offer cradle, or at least marital bed, to grave services?

It does seem to give new meaning to ‘til death do us part,’ though, doesn’t it?

And speaking of which, in some jurisdictions it’s apparently possible to combine the wedding and the funeral.

In Thailand, as the Huffington Post reports, a man “married” his girl friend of 10 years, during her funeral. She was killed in an accident, and he felt guilty about having put off the wedding she so wanted.

Maybe the Dixie Cups will release Going to the Chapel:

Going to the chapel, and we’re gonna get married.
Going to the chapel, and we’re gonna get buried,
Going to the chapel to get married and buried,
Going to the chapel of love.

Oh, what a world we live in.

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You really start to feel old when your much younger sister hands you a copy of her AARP Bulletin with an article of interest in it.  Yikes. A tip of the bridal veil – or a lift of the shroud -  to my sister Trish.

Meanwhile, by some macabre – given today’s topic -  coincidence, today is the 41st anniversary of my father’s death. Still miss you, Dad. Wish you were here…

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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

O Captain, my Captain. “Get back on board, for [expletive] sake!”

Along with the “routine” plane crash and the terrorist on board, the sinking ship has got to be one of the top travel fears. Lusitania. Titanic. Poseidon Adventure. Andrea Doria. And all those crowded ferries that seem to meet with mishap with some regularity. Fact or fiction, we’ve seen the movie, read the book, caught it on the evening news often enough to suspect it could happen.

Still, cruising in calm waters off the Italian coast, just off shore, doesn’t sound like the recipe for disaster. But for those on the Costa Concordia, it proved just that.

If not for the horrors the survivors experienced; the grief of those who lost friends and family; the rising death toll (including, heartbreakingly, the death of a 5 year old girl whose father was also killed), and the presumed terror-filled last moments the victims had; and the potential for environmental havoc if the fuel leaks out – and those are some pretty big “if nots” – this event would seem almost ludicrous: the foundering ship in what looked to be within dog-paddling distance of safety.

And, of course, there’s the hapless and feckless captain, Francesco Schettino, allegedly running the ship aground while attempting to “buzz” a friend on shore; wining and dining at the time of the crash with a comely blonde less than half his age; claiming that he hadn’t abandoned his ship but had, rather, fallen into a lifeboat while supervising the rescue of his passengers. Not to mention his man-tan and aging Lothario looks. Straight out of a casting call for opera buffa, with Schettino counterbalanced by the far nobler coast guard captain who ordered him back on his ship, telling him “Vada a bordo, cazzo”. (Which I’ve seen variously translated as “get back on board, for fuck’s sake,” and “get back on board, you prick.”)

Francesco Schettino is being justifiably vilified – what was he thinking heading off course in rocky waters, endangering his ship and all those lives on it? – and may well face criminal charges for negligent manslaughter.

His decision to play fast and loose, his irresponsible ac,t was a terrible dereliction of his duty. But abandoning ship, trying to save his own skin, is not a criminal act, as far as I know. Sure, it’s pretty heinous and cowardly, but if lack of courage, failure of nerve, and disgrace under pressure were crimes, the prison population would be orders of magnitude greater than it is now.

No. What Schettino’s “slip” into the lifeboat tells me is that he was in a job that he had no business being in. Bad career choice, wrong horse for the course.

Because some jobs do require physical courage, calm in the face of danger, clear thinking amid chaos. And captaining a ship has got to be one of them.

I know. You may think you’ve got “it”, but you never get to find out, because nothing bad ever happens. You get through your career with no opportunity to show your mettle.

Still, you would think that before choosing a career in which you might find yourself in life and death situations, in which you would have responsibility for the survival of others, you might do a bit of “know thyself'”-ing and figure out if you were up to it.

If you’re not, there are plenty of other careers open to you.

Most of us, of course, don’t have to make life and death decisions at work. Our challenges are more pedestrian: who to put on the lay-off list, what projects to cancel, putting an under-performer on notice, standing up to a bullying boss, owning up to a mistake you’ve made, pointing out a problem that everyone else seems to be ignoring.  Sure, if takes courage, but it’s different when it’s livelihoods, not lives at risk. And when my life’s on the line, I want the person in charge to be Sully Sullenberger (to change transportation modes), rather than Francesco Schettino.

Maybe Schettino never thought things through. Maybe he decided to become a cruise ship captain after watching dubbed episodes of The Love Boat. Maybe he thought that it would be all Captain Stubing conferring with Gopher about whether Julie was falling too hard for the dashing young man in cabin 12C.  Maybe he really didn’t get what he was signing up for.

Yes, you get the snappy white uniform, and a pretty good salary. You get to give the orders, and have people defer to you. And in return you get to be the one responsible, the one in charge of the tough choices, when things go awry.

However Schettino chose his path, it doesn’t appear that he had much self-awareness, leading him to make a pretty darned poor career choice. One that has had dire implications for many, many people.

Although I did read that Italian law does require a captain to stay with his ship*, in most jurisdictions jumping ship doesn’t make Francisco Schettino a criminal. It just makes him a person who was in the wrong job. That poor career choice has now been rectified: it’s doubtful he’ll be commanding anything more than a personal floatation device anytime soon.

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* Huffington Post:

Maritime experts said the tradition of a captain standing by his ship isn't established in international maritime law. Some countries, like Italy, have included it in national laws.

Others respect it as "an unwritten rule or law of the sea," said Capt. Bill Wright, senior vice president of Marine Operations for the Royal Caribbean International cruise line.

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Monday, January 23, 2012

Surrendering your hamsters

I was going to start the week with a post about hedge fund managers. Or more dubious technology from CES.  Or a possible cure for the bedbug epidemic. A new theme park in France. But then I saw the article about the poor man in Lawrence, Massachusetts who:

…turned over 94 hamsters to a local animal shelter, telling officials he was running out of room in his apartment. (Source: Boston.com.)

The man had been keeping hamsters for pets for about 5 years, so my first thought was, only94? Surely, with sexual maturity reached at a couple of months, a gestation period of a few weeks, and litter sizes that can run up to 18, a number in the billions might not have been unimaginable over the course of 5 years.

But what do I know from hamsters?

The answer: nothing, other than Hamid of Aleppohaving vivid and fond childhood memories of the book , Hamid of Aleppo. I was so taken with Hamid that I copied most of the illustrations using tracing paper and had a collection – with some sort of feeble story line -  that I called “My Hamid.”

Fortunately,when I wanted to know more about hamsters, there was Jimmy Wales to the rescue! From Wikipedia, I learned that hamsters are solitary little folks, and when housed with a fellow hamster often fight to the death. Plus hamster mothers have been known to cannibalize a few tasty morsels from their large litters. So this would keep something of a lid on exponential rodent begatting.

While I have no hamster experience, I have some second-hand gerbil history. (No, not that.)

For a number of years, my husband and I lived in an apartment in the home of a family that had two small kids, with whom we became very close. This was quite some time ago – those two small kids are now 34 and 30 – but I remember how excited Soph and Sam were when their father brought home what he was told were two male gerbils. The kids named them David and Scamp.

It is, apparently, not all that easy to tell the difference between a boy gerbil and a girl gerbil. No blue for boys, no pink for girls. Within a few days, when a dozen or so little hairless thing-ies appeared in the cage, it was clear that either David or Scamp was a female of the species.

We paid a call on the new parents, and I asked which one was David and which one was Scamp.

Before the words were out of my mouth, gerbil number one – paying no attention to the nicety of a bit of a post-partum lay-off – was mounting gerbil number two’s back.

Never mind, I told the kids. I think I figured it out.

Anyway, whether through gerbil parent intervention of the cannibalistic order,  or through human parent intervention of the flush it down the toilet variety, the baby gerbils were soon gone from the cage. As I recall, Scamp and David didn’t last much longer, either.

They were, however, quite cute.

They were also the first in a string of pet mishaps in this family: Persephone, the dog who died; Chico Marx, the bird who died.

Definitely bad pet karma going on downstairs.

As for the Lawrence hamsters, they were:

… well cared for kept in aquariums, buckets and Tupperware containers (Source: Lawrence Eagle Tribune.)

The hamster-meister just got overwhelmed, and went to a local MSPCA shelter for small animals and asked it they could take his furry friends out of their Tupperware containers and off of his hands. The surrendered hamsters will be put up for adoption. Originally, the man was going to keep a couple, then decided to let the entire lot go.

In addition to reclaiming his home, I’m guessing he’ll be in the money now. Even though they’re little mouths to feed, it can’t be cheap when there are 94 of them. And I’m guessing the house will smell a bit better, once the weather gets warm enough to crack open a few windows.

Despite the benefits of de-hamstering your life, I can’t help but thinking: this poor man!

All he wanted 5 years back was a little something to keep him company, a little someone to care for. The solitary hamster that he adopted turned out to be, as the Irish might have it, up the pole. So one hamster just naturally led to another.

I kind of wish he’d kept a few, but it might have been just too hard to pick his favorites. Or maybe he just needed to make a clean break.

Whatever the case, let’s hear it for a man who knew his limits, and let’s hope all those hamsters find good new homes.

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Friday, January 20, 2012

Wi.Spi. Who do you spy?

I’m not a gadget-y type of person. I don’t have to possess the leading edge on anything. I would get bored with Siri after asking the second question. I don’t lull myself to sleep counting small electronic devices. I am not, in short, consumed by electronics.

Nonetheless, I am always somewhat intrigued by what happens in Vegas during the annual Consumer Electronics Show, held last week.

Most of it, of course, I would be just as happy if it stayed in Vegas. (Don’t like it. Don’t love it. Get way too much of it.)

Still, I did glance through a report on some of the goodies from this year’s show on Boston.com, and for me the biggest oh-no is the Wi.Spi helicopter, a remote-controlled toy that one can operate with their iPhone or Android device.  Us Blackberry bores have to be content with checking e-mail and looking at tiny versions of PowerPoint slides. We don’t get to do cool stuff like spy on our neighbors with a remote-controlled helicopter that also does video surveillance. (Wi.Spi will be commercially available in time for next Christmas, at the low-low price of $120.)

Not that I am completely averse to spying. I enjoy a good eavesdrop now and then. We used to have neighbors who got into tremendously colorful, high decibel verbal spats that carried right through their doors. I will confess that a couple of times I stood in the hall, spending a few seconds more than was absolutely necessary to lock the door behind me so that I could catch a few segments of their squabbles. This duo – who presented themselves as ultra-proper preppy (him) and sweetness and light (her) – went at it about her ignorance about things financial; his Internet porn habit; her useless, lay-about son. (Before this couple had moved into our building, my husband and I had actually overheard them viciously (but in a conversational tone) bickering about money in our favorite neighborhood restaurant. They were at the next table, and when they had their public face on while talking to their waiter, we learned a bit about where they were moving from, what he did for a living, etc. A few weeks later, they showed up in our building, and I recognized them from the restaurant.)

Not that I seek out opportunities, but an occasional good ED* – which is what I say, sotto voce, when I want my husband to clam up when we’re out – is enjoyable, and, in retrospect, is something I’ve always done. Which is how I got the nickname, from my father, of “radar-ears.”

Hey, I couldn’t help it if, in our pokey little house, my bedroom was right next to the living room.

It’s not that my parents had all that many interesting conversations, but the odd tid-bit would come up every once in a while.

Hell, it’s one of the best ways for kids to start piecing together the Mysterious and Remote World of Adults.  If you don’t want your kids to listen in on you, don’t have kids.

But overhearing is one thing; out-and-out spying is another.

A toy that does video surveillance?

What a terrible (albeit inevitable) idea.

One thing to catch someone with their voice raised. If you don’t want to be overheard, speak softly. Close the door, shut the windows. Learn Ameslan. Caveat speaker.

Quite another thing to catch someone, metaphorically or otherwise, with their pants down when they could and should have the expectation of privacy.

I found a bit more about the Wi.Spi on Mother Nature Network, where I read that,

Virtual pilots and drivers [there’s also a video surveillance car] can watch the video streaming live and also record it for upload to YouTube and other sites.

Such fun…

One of the first commandments of marketing is Know Thy Customer, and Ian Chisholm, marketing director of Interactive Toy (makers of Wi.Spi), characterizes his as “mature wallet, immature mentality.”

Chisholm believes that “people might use them to spy on people in the neighboring cubicles at work.”

One more reason to be happy-dappy that I know longer work full-time. (Hey, I saw your grouchy boss on YouTube trying to swat a helicopter out of her office with a silk scarf.)

But it does give me a swell product idea.

How about making something for those of us who value our privacy and don’t want to be surveilled by folks with “mature wallet; immature mentality.” I’m thinking a toy RPG so we can shoot the toy video surveillance helicopter down.

Are you listening, Interactive Toy?

Next year in Las Vegas!

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*That’s eavesdrop – not the other ED.

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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Serfin’ USA

A couple of months back, there was an interesting article in The New Yorker on a growing industry: temporary personal assistants. (Not sure, but access to this content may require a subscription.)

One of the companies specializing in this is Boston’s own TaskRabbit – since expanded to cities on both coasts, as well as Chicago, and coming soon to South/Southwest – which has as its motto Do more. Live more. Be more. Not sure if that motto is for the taskers or the taskees, but I guess it works both ways.

Folks in need of jobs done – organizing their closets, prepping for a dinner party, getting their laundry done, dropping off donations – post their tasks, and TaskRabbits bid on the jobs. Once their bid is accepted, they’re off. All the grubby payment details are managed on line. No cash changes hands. Those “friendly TaskRabbits” are background checked, so it’s unlikely that, say, an ax murderer will show up to take down your Christmas tree. (Not apparent whether those who sign up to have tasks performed for them are similarly vetted, but I would hope so. Way too many Craig’s List killers out there…TaskPosters do have to use real, verified identities, but I guess there’s no way to weed out the Ted Bundy’s until they make their first strike.)

The New Yorker article didn’t focus on the boring, pedestrian requests that the task-masters set.

No “organize my closets” there.

One couple wanted their compost bucket cleaned out. (Which got done for $31. If I’ve got it right, TaskRabbit adds an approximate 15% service fee, paid by the poster.) Someone needed help retrieving a set of keys he’d dropped down a sewer. ($80)  One TaskRabbit made $100 driving a truckload of burning necessities from San Bruno to the Burning Man Festival in Nevada. I would have driven off the road laughing if I knew I was transporting “A big silver tricycle, a batch of Jester clothes and a large, tent-like dwelling called a yurt.”

One big baby TaskPoster stepped in dog crap and immediately smart-phoned a TaskRabbit request to have someone fetch a “new pair of navy blue Toms shoes from Nordstrom’s.” ($17.)  Okay, I get that Toms are soft shoes, so it’s not as easy as cleaning off leather. Still, you’d think a grownup could cope with a little bit of dog crap, wouldn’t you?

Thousands of unemployed or underemployed workers have parlayed one-off job requests into part- or full-time work. The gigs are especially popular with stay-at-home moms, retirees and students. Workers choose their jobs and negotiate their own rates.

Here’s what the friendly TaskRabbits demo looks like:

TaskRabbits

The sewer-fisher wasn’t a TaskRabbit, by the way. She was a “fulfiller” for Zaarly, “an online marketplace for micro-labor and goods based in San Francisco”, which has among its investors both Kleiner Perkins and Ashton Kutcher. (Another of the Zaarly projects: someone “who hired someone to buy a Michael Jackson-themed dog costume for a puppy.” Now there is a niche request.)

TaskRabbit and Zaarly are, I guess, the face of the new economy, in which “micro-laborers” make or augment their living doing the little things that someone else can afford to have done for them. The work world is starkly breaking down to TaskRabbits and TaskPosters.

Which did get me thinking about what tasks I would be willing to take care of as a TaskRabbit. Which didn’t last long: I quickly reached the conclusion that, in the grand scheme of things, I would much prefer being a doee to a doer. (We already have a couple who comes in every two weeks and does cleaning for us, so I’ve already pretty much declared where I fall.)

As for tasks I would absolutely consider having a TaskRabbit take care of for me:

  • Help me get the Christmas tree in the stand. An annual moment of tension, although somewhat diminished once I started getting the more manageable 6’ tree, as opposed to one that was 7’-plus.
  • Run bags of clothing over to St. Francis House. Mostly I’m pretty good about this, but sometimes I have a lot of stuff from my sisters, and it can just sit there while I figure out whether I can stuff it all in my shopping cart and get it over there in one trip. (Confession: this happens only after I have gone through the bags and removed the stuff that was obviously meant for me.)
  • Install new drapes in the bedroom and the den. Which I will get around to once I get around to having the bedroom and den painted. Which may or may not be this year, even though it is on my New Year’s resolution list for the nth time. Anyway, I so do not want to break my neck trying to get this job done. Whenever I get around to doing it getting it done.
  • Get rid of the ancient and colossal air conditioner that’s been sitting in the den closet, taking up precious storage space, since we moved into our condo over 20 years ago. Where we have central air, and where we have never used, and will never use, this behemoth.

Ah, yes, I do see TaskRabbit-ry in my future.

But I am a bit unsettled by the thought that, increasingly, these are what the jobs “out there” are going to be like: menial things – like taking care of someone who stepped in dog crap – that just cannot be outsourced to India or the Philippines. And the TaskRabbits won’t all be stay-at-home moms and male retirees.

It’ll be just like the good old days: you’ve got your lords; you’ve got your vassals; and you’ve got your serfs.

I guess I’m a vassal, but I can’t shake the notion that Serfin’ USA is not going to be such a great place to live.

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