Pink Slip to mommy blogger: you stink!

We've all done things that we're ashamed of. Hell, I still feel guilty about a mean thing I did to one of my best friends when we were in second grade. This was almost 70 years ago. What I did was write a note that I left on Susan's back stairs that said "You stink." And I signed it "Ginny Whelan." (I wasn't a mean kid, and maybe that's why this one sticks with me. I don't remember why I did this - seven year olds aren't especially deep thinkers. What did Susan do that hurt my feelings, ticked me off? She was another very nice, un-mean girl. I probably chose to use Ginny's name because she a) had a cute older brother (something I totally coveted), and b) a playhouse in her backyard (ditto).)

Sure, I've done worse things along the way - sinnier sins, wrongier wrongs - but the point is that we all have, if the Catholic catechism illustration is factual, spots on the milk bottles that are our immortal souls.

So of course it is understandable that mommy blogger Amanda Harding has done something that she felt the need to fess up to in one of her mommy posts. (For some reason, her article came up on my Bluesky timeline or in general Google. It's not like a pay a ton of attention to mommy bloggers.) 

The title of Harding's article was a true confession: I used to return everything I bought from Target. I thought it was the ultimate parenting hack — I was wrong.

Even if you weren't raised Catholic, confession can be good for your milk bottle soul. You go, mommy blogger! You go!

What Amanda Harding had been doing, over the course of three years, was taking advantage of a no-questions-asked Target return policy, and was getting her money back on every item she used only once.

Matching pink and white family outfits (mommy, daddy, five kids) for a mall portrait? Harding spent hundreds of dollars kitting the fam out. Trouble was, after the portrait was snapped, the kiddos didn't like the clothing. The girls' shirts were itchy and tight; the boys didn't like pink. 

She "didn't have the energy" to try to unload the stuff on Facebook Marketplace, so she thought she'd try just returning it. Bingo! She got her money back.

A new hobby was born: buy stuff at Target, use it once, and get your money back. No need to hang on to those Halloween costumes, which for some reason, a younger kid wouldn't be willing and able to wear next Halloween. Return it, already. Special gear neeed for "school spirit days?" Harding wanted her kids to have new and shiny stuff. So buy it, use it once, bring it back. Seriously, I know I'm old, but I was one of five kids and stuff got - get this - used multiple times, and by more than one kid. Has Harding never heard of the idea of hand-me-downs? Do they no longer exist? 

Another return: 

I discovered a cake stand and pitcher we used for my daughter's 11th birthday brunch. If we had another party, she'd want a new aesthetic, and the items would continue to gather dust. I returned both and got back $20. (Source: AOL. The original article appeared on Business Insider)

Aside to mommy blogger: if your child wants a new aesthetic for her next birthday brunch, why not have her create some placemats. Or something.  

Anyway, Harding had a rationale for her behavior:

I thought the hack was ridding my house of clutter and keeping my spending low....[It was] the ultimate decluttering technique.

Well, she's right. She was de-cluttering her house and keeping expenses down. But how is this hack anything other than theft.

You can declutter your home by donating or yard-sale-ing the clutter you don't want or need. You can keep your spending low by not buying crap like a one-time cake stand to begin with. (And how's this for a cake stand hack: cover a box with wrapping paper, preferably wrapping paper salvaged for a carefully-unwrapped gift.)

As time went by, Harding had a discovery:

I found that buying, using, and returning items alleviated some of the financial and organizational mental load of parenthood.

Puhl-eeze. Although I didn't have kids, I do know that having them brings with it a "financial and organizational mental load." And I'm sure it's quite exacting. But life in general - whether you've got kiddos or not -  brings with it a "financial and organizational mental load." And one way to alleviate the load is to stop buying crap you don't need.

There was no end to Harding's rationalization of her behavior.

While she did understand that, because she kept buying new items with the money she got for her returns, she really wasn't achieving much by way of financial benefits. But she felt that her stategy suceeded in that it kept her from overbuying. I.e., to enjoy the use of all the stuff she wanted, if not for her returns, she would have been spending more. Thus her reutrn policy was contributing to keeping the family budget in check. 

And then, Harding had an epiphany. 

"Just pick something! We can always return it," my daughter yelled at her sister in a store once.

That's when my "greatest parenting hack" sounded more like a dirty little secret coming out of my 11-year-old daughter's mouth.

Out of the mouths of babes!

...my kid made me feel ashamed of the hack, and I realized I was misusing a loophole.

...That moment forced me to reflect on the integrity of this behavior. Returning things felt like the responsible thing to do. But was it? Is buying something with the intent to use it and return it wrong?

I didn't want to teach my kids to think that when they grew up, they could buy whatever they wanted as long as there was a loophole.  

Yes, Amanda Harding, mommy blogger. Good mommy blogger. You've seen the light! You want your kids to be honest. You want to parent by example. Yes, yes, yes!

So has she quit her dishonest ways?

That would be a 'no.'

Instead, she confesses:

I've continued returning most items I buy at Target.

But, she continues:

...I'm trying to slow down with the returns and set a good example for my kids. Now, when I head to Target, I try not to bring any items [to return] with me.

What is wrong with this woman? She realizes that what she's doing is wrong, and setting a bad example for her children, and yet she persists with her dishonest behavior. And writes about it, thinking - thinking what? that this will place her in a good light? That her kids will admire her more?

Target does "reserve the right to deny returns, refunds, and exhanges, including but not limited to prevent fraud, suspected fraud, or abuse." (This is from their website, found in an editor's note on the article.)

Hope they clamp down on this mommy-blogging fraud.

And I've got a message for Amanda Harding: You stink! And I'm going to sign my own name to it, not Ginny Whelan's!

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Source of image: Party Happier.