Loose Lips Sink Ships

Honestly, I can almost, kinda sorta understand people who enjoy hunting. I'm by no means a vegetarian. It may not be my cup of tea, but if someone wants to shoot deer and ducks for home consumption, have at it. And if a hunter wants to go out and cull the herd, killing a few whatevers - deer, wild pigs - to help with wildlife managment. Well, that's fine, too. 

I'm less tolerant when it comes to big game hunting and/or those who go to those big game farms where they put the animal in front of the "hunter" and line up the shot for them, akin to shooting fish in a barrel. 

And when I see one of those big game hunters - looking at you, Don Jr. - sitting there grinning, resting on the carcass of a magnificent animal, maybe holding a tusk or tail, I'm truly nauseated. 

Those dens with the mounted heads of animals gracing the walls, a bear- or leopard-skin rug on the floor? Let's just say I' pretty sure I know who you voted for. Unless, of course, you've had them for, like, forever. After all, in my living room, I proudly display the steer horns that were once over the bar of Worcester's Rogers Brothers Saloon, which went out of biz with Prohibition. (I think that steer horns might have been something of a decorative thing back in the day. While Charles and James Rogers were originally farm boys, when they reached the age of reason they fled the farm town of Barre for the big city lights in Worcester. I don't imagine they roped the steer those horns came from themselves.)

The worst are those who illegally hunt for protected species. When it comes to them, I can't help but thinking WTF is wrong with you.  

Which leads me to a story I saw a few weeks back about a young couple who got nabbed for illegal hunting when, on a flight, they bragged to a couple of fellow passengers about their illegal hunting exploits. And those fellow passengers turned out to be wildlife officers. The officers weren't in uniform, but they did tell Byron Lee Fitzpatrick (24) and Shannon Lee Price (28) what their jobs were. 

Fitzpatrick and Price were apparently not aware that loose lips sink ships, so they kept yacking away about their hobbies.

Specifically, [they revealed] how they had once illegally hunted a mountain lion, and how they were smuggling the skull of an endangered turtle in their carry-on bag. (Source: NY Times)

Not content to brag about their own illegal hunting exploits, the couple went on to implicate the family member who'd gifted them with the sea turtle skull.

And they [also] showed the officers a video of a trophy room that belonged to Mr. Fitzpatrick’s uncle, Harry Vern Fitzpatrick, that had stuffed mountain lions, wolves and a wolverine on display.

When they got off the plane, the couple - after looking around to make sure there were no nosy TSA officers nearby - showed the wildlife officers their sea turtle skull. The sea turtle is:

...a federally listed endangered species that is illegal to possess and transport, according to the agency.

The officers figured that they had probable cause that there was some wildlife criming going on. Enough probably cause to look further into the hunting practices of Fitzpatrick and Price. So they got a search warrant, and: 

The day after the flight, officers arrived to execute a search warrant at the couple’s home in Chico, Calif., and found Mr. Fitzpatrick and Ms. Price processing a deer they had hunted illegally that day, the agency said...

Officers also found mountain lion claws, taxidermied animals including a ringtail cat and a barn owl, an illegally hunted spike buck and several illegally hunted deer with tagging violations, the agency said. Ringtail cats are a protected species in California, and mounted raptors like the barn owl are illegal to possess without state and federal permits. 

Fast forward a year, and Fitzpatrick and Price reached a plea agreement and were assessed fines and "put on one year of probation that bars them from hunting."

The fines were pretty modest - state fines of $1,865 for Fitzpatrick, $1,015 for Price, and $1,000 federal fines for each - but things didn't end with the loose-lipped couple. 

Remember the uncle whose trophy room video they'd shown to the officers?

Uncle Harry's home was searched and he ended up being fined $605 for violating state regulations and put on 6-month probation. 

Bet he was just thrilled that his nephew had ratted him out.

As part of the plea deals, all the contraband animals were forfeited by the defendants, the agency said.

Hah! 

Hah for now, anyway.

What do you want to bet that federal wildlife regulations will get DOGEd away, and that states with protections in place will be threatened with things like, say, the refusal of federal disaster aid, unless they shape up and do what Don Trumpleone wants them to do.

In the meantime, one can only hope that the young folks here - and maybe even near-geezer Uncle Harry - come to their senses and realize that hunting and otherwise messing with endangered species is a pretty low-life way to go.

On the other hand, I hope that these lunkheads don't ever wise up to the fact that sometimes loose lips do sink ships. If they've got more stupid and stupidly illegal things up their sleeves, that is...