The only season of Survivor that I watched was the first one.
Just wasn't that interested in watching a bunch of sun-drenched, buff connivers compete against each other by winning studip manufactured competitions, and figuring out how to backstab and manipulate their fellow contestants. Sure, it was a certain "reality" of the kill-or-be-killed, when you come down to it everyone's pretty much a POS, variety. But, essentially, yawn. And yuck.
If I'm going to watch a competition that pits non-athletes against each other, I'd rather see three nerdy know-it-alls - my kind of peeps - go at it on Jeopardy. Give me the librarian from Tucson who knows that Toni Morrison won the Pulitzer for Beloved in 1988; the accountant from Providence who knows that the real Tesla - Nikola - helped figure out the AC electrical system.
But people do seem enamored of the reality and faux reality show world, to the extent that Donald Trump, that hyped up fake business sucess, that creature of faux reality, was elected president by a populace who apparently would rather be entertained (and dictated to) than be governed (and actually know what things like due process are). Sigh.
Anyway, it's no surprise that in today's world o' Trump, there's a pitch circulating in the Department of Homeland Security - the organization headed by the brazen Kristi Noem, cos-player extraordinaire - that would have would-be citizens compete for the privilege of becoming an American citizen. And no surprise that Rob Worsoff, the producer who's promoting this idea, is the fellow who was behind Duck Dynasty, a show that followed the day to day antics and dramas of a bunch of good ol' Lousiana boys who ran a company that made duck calls. Or something.
The Department of Homeland Security is considering taking part in a television show that would have immigrants go through a series of challenges to get American citizenship, officials said on Friday.
The challenges would be based on various American traditions and customs, said Tricia McLaughlin, a spokeswoman for the agency. She said the department was still reviewing the idea...
“The pitch generally was a celebration of being an American and what a privilege it is to be able to be a citizen of the United States of America,” Ms. McLaughlin said. “It’s important to revive civic duty.” (Source: NY Times)
Contestants would be chosen from those already vetted for starting along the path to citizenship. Each episode would feature a Heritage Challenge, an Elimination Challenge, a Town Hall Meeting, and a Final Vote.
One of the challenges suggested would take place at NASA and would involve assembling and launching a rocket. Another would have the contestants heading to Wisconsin for log rolling. In Detroit, would-be citizens would work on an assembly line, putting together a 1914 Model-T chassis. They'd be clam-digging in Maine. Panning for gold in San Francisco. Delivering mail by horseback - a la the Pony Express - in Missouri. (Details on the challenges come from an article in the Daily Mail.)
So many skills that would help our country! And no Heritage Challenges like avoiding a lynching while registering Black votes in Mississippi? Or walking along the Trail of Tears with the indigenous people forcibly removed from their homes and dispatched to what's now Oklahoma?
Give me your tired and poor, alrighty.
I've read contradictory statements on whether Kristi Noem has approved the idea, but this bit of nonsense seems right up her little cosplaying alley. Imagine Kristi in a Pony Express uniform? As a 49-er? A clam digger?
And I can't think of anyone who'd love this more than President Reality Show himself, who would no doubt be the pol enlisted to swear the winner in as an American on the steps of the Capitol Building. (This show was proposed during the Obama Administration but was, no surprise here, turned down.)
Worsoff claims that this would be a massive commercial hit - he's probably right. That it would attract all sorts of commercial sponsors to donate prizes, like free gasoline for life - he's probably right. And that there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house at the finale. Nah. There'd be something dry in my house, and that would be the sound of me retching.
Just who would this jamboree privilege? Would all those robust South African Boers coming off the planes with their luggage carts overflowing be competing against starving Sudanese who showed up with (maybe) a change of clothing and a baby suffering from malnutrition?
Seriously, other than maybe the Boers, I can't see anyone wanting to take part in this other than a bunch of American knucklehead bros.
It will come as no shock if this debased, Hunger Games-like spectacle were to be approved. Trump runs on attention, and loves his ratings. And focusing on this would be such a fine distraction from the current immigration/deporation debacle.
How low can this country go? Just when you think we've bottomed out, here's yet another thing that will only prove that things can always get worse.
Chuck Barris was a game show producer (and star) in the 1960's and 1970's, known for such crowd-pleaser, cringe-inducing shows as The Dating Game, The Newlywed Game, and The Gong Show. I believe it was Barris who, somewhere along the line, said that if he proposed a show in which people could win money to do things like kick the cane out of the hand of an old lady, there'd be a staunch American audience for it. He was probably right. Too bad he's no longer around to let us know what he thinks about this shitshow.
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