Whose Fantasy Is This Anyway? Part 2

Yesterday was part one of my annual tribute to the utter nonsense that is the Neiman Marcus Fantasy Gift Catalog. To finish up my virtual non-shopping spree, I give you:

A weekend in Napa ($175K)
There are worse things I can think of than having to endure a weekend in Napa Valley. Sunny, gorgeous, great food, wineries. What's not to like? And yet, spending over $175K for that weekend. I'd have to think twice. Maybe even three or four times. 

Sure, the weekend includes a private cooking class at the Culinary Institute of America. And a round of golf at a sunny, gorgeous Napa course.  And a three night stay at the Auberge du Soleil. 

Auberge du Soleil...

I've never stayed there, but I have dined there. Many, many, many years ago, my husband and I spent a weekend in Napa and had a lovely lunch, on the outdoor patio. I can't remember what I ate, but it was wonderful. I can't remember what I drank, either, but it was wonderful, too.

What was even more wonderful was that, knowing we wanted wine without worry, Jim and I taxi'd over and back from the perfectly nice but not crazily luxurious nearby place we were staying. 

The weather was glorious, but that more or less comes with the territory. Still, $175K (especially given that travel is not included) is steeper than the driveway up to Auberge, even if part of this gift is a set of fancy Hestan cookware. Admittedly, I've never heard of Hestan, but I take their word that it's plenty luxe, chalking my ignorance up to how little I hang around Sur la Table.

CUSTOM MINI GOLF ($200K)
Not that I'm any good at it, but I love mini-golf. Everything from picking the right colored ball to filling out the scorecard with the little golfer pencil. The possibility of winning a free match if you get a hole-in-one on the 18th. All wonderful.

Growing up, there was a junky, standard issue mini-golf in my neighborhood: lighthouse, windmill, whale, some holes that didn't even have anything other than fake grass and a cup. But some of the courses I've been to have been super nice - or at least interesting. 

There was one in Eastham on the Cape we used to go to when we visited my sister in Wellfleet. It sported a couple of coy ponds. Then there was the beautiful old-fashioned course I went to once, in Naples, Maine, on Lake Sebago. Each hole had a Maine theme - lobster trap, Casco Bay ferry - and the course was shady and quite pleasant. 

My brother Tom lives in Ocean Park, Washington, and there's a worn out mini golf course in town that features nursery rhyme characters. 

Then there was the artwork mini golf that was a working exhibit one summer at the DeCordova Museum in Lincoln, Mass. My company was hosting its annual users group, which always included a fun event. One year, the fun event was dinner at the DeCordova and a round of mini-golf for everyone that wanted to putt. Each hole was designed by a different artist, and a number of them had a provocative political theme, which made some of our customers a bit uncomfortable. The one I remember best had as its theme violence against women. Every time you hit certain parts on this hole, you could hear a tape of a woman getting beaten. Not quite the fun one usually associates with mini-golf. 

A kinder, gentler mini-course is, of course, possible. And if you're willing to spend big bucks on it, you can have your very own course designed by Cole and Jencey Keeton who are "immersive and experiential art installation efforts" whose design company is Sweet Tooth Hotel. 

Sweet Tooth Hotel will bring the joy and wonder of outer space to your doorstep and install a space-themed, nine-hole mini golf course on your property. Start your intergalactic journey with a sparkling shooting star at the first hole, the astronaut experience at holes two and three, then blast off with a seven-foot-tall rocket ship at hole four. Holes five and six will have you navigating your way through antigravity and a mysterious black hole, and as you reach the other side of the galaxy at the final three holes, a new planet awaits your discovery! 

Just darned my luck that I don't have a backyard to put it in. So I'll have to take a pass on this one. 

But for some lucky family who can drop $190K on something there kids will be bored with within a nanosecond, FORE!

Your Very Own Perfume ($65K)
I don't wear perfume, so this is a non-starter, luxury gift-wise. The experience is getting to meet "one of the world's most celebrated perfumers, Francis Kurkdjian," whose

"internationally acclaimed brand has become renowned for visionary fragrance."

(Am I the only one tripping over the notion of a fragrance that's visionary?)

Anyway, you'll convene with Mr. Kurkdijian in Paris, and after your convo, he'll brew up a personalized perfume for you - and send you home with six bottles, plus a couple of "leather perfume bottle travel pouches" from Atelier Renard Paris.

Sorry, but not in the market for a visionary fragrance. 

Shooting Hoops with Scottie Pippen & Son ($333,333)
Remember Scottie Pippen? He was a super player for the Chicago Bulls of the Michael Jordan era. And I'll give you three guesses what his number was. If you guessed 33, well, what a good little guesser you are!

Anyway, if you buy this one, 

...it’s your and a friend’s turn to play with this dynamic father-and-son duo [Pippen's son Scotty is a recent Vanderbilt grad who plays for the Lakers] and learn a  trick or two on the court. Following the shootaround, unwind and recap with a private dinner hosted by Pippen and Pippen Jr. As a final slam dunk to your day, sample Pippen’s premier bourbon whiskey, Digits, and then take home an autographed copy of his best-selling book “Unguarded.”

I can imagine that for a roundball fan who also likes to shoot playground hoops, this would be a really exciting adventure. And I'll give the Pippens a lot of credit here. Each of the Neiman Marcus Fantasy Gifts includes a donation to a charity designated by the person who's doing the fantasy fulfilling. These donations run the gamut, depending on price of the gift and generosity of the person selling the gift/experience. If you buy the tiara, $160K goes to a good cause. If you buy the Christmas decoration, there's a $10K donation. (Mostly, the donations are in the 5-10% range.)

Scottie Pippen and son are donating a whopping $278K of the $333,333 gift price to Chi Prep Academy, "a not-for-profit program that promotes high standards through academics, entrepreneurship, and athletics." (Wonder if the person doing the buying gets some sort of passthrough tax donation...)

Bravo, Pippens!

Meanwhile, I text asked an old friend who worked at Neiman Marcus for years whether anyone ever bought anything from the Fantasy Catalogue. Here answer: "Yes!" And when I responded with a "Yikes!" she added "It's all relative...I guess."

If you can afford a $3.2M tiara, you can afford a $3.2M tiara.

I guess...