AI AI AI AI!

I'm a pretty big Ken Burns fan. I love, love, loved The Civil War, Baseball, The Vietnam War, Country Music. If I had to pick a favorite, tie goes to Baseball and The Vietnam War. I remember a lot about Baseball. Understandably, as it paid a lot of attention to the Olde Towne Team. The Vietnam War I recall in far less detail, other than that I was heartsick (and often crying) while watching it.  

Yes, there's a sameness to Burns' work, a familiar trope that unites them all. The old documents and pictures, the talking heads, the "you are there" shouts and shots, the period music. (Even if it's faux period. Seriously, who cares if The Civil War's "Ashokan Farewell" was written in 1982, not 1862?) But I love the way he so skillfully weaves everything together. And I always come away from a Ken Burns' series having learned a few things.

That said, I was a bit underwhelmed by The American Revolution, his latest. Yes, it was interesting. Yes, I loved the local history. (While out and about, I pass the site of the Boston Massacre a couple of times a week.) And yes, I learned stuff. Like just how bloody (literally) awful it all was. Still, it's not one of my favorite Ken Burns' outing. 

Yet I would watch it on endless loop before I'd sit through the entirety of Darren Aronofsy's new “On This Day… 1776,” a series of (blessedly) short videos that chronicle one event that took place during that so-critical year of the founding of the United States. 

Aronosky is a well-known director - that is, well-known other than to me (although I believe I've seen bits of Black Swan - who has chosen to do without the expense of using human actors, actual horses, period costumes, and real locations and "create" everything using AI.

I watched a couple of them. “The Flag” focuses on King George blithering and "our" George (Washington) raising the first, pre-Betsy Ross version of the American flag. “Common Sense"  features Thomas Paine and Ben Franklin who is depicted as something of a droll little Muppet. they were pretty creepy. The "characters" - if you can call them that - are affectless, hollow-eyed, affectless. The "acting" - if you can call it that - is wooden, probably because the mouths don't sync up with the dubbed voices.

You didn't need the little early-on disclaimer that states "altered or synthetic content" is being used. That's pretty obvious from the jump.

It looks like a video game. And if it's supposed to be stirring, engaging, emotionally satisfying, well, let's jus say it's not like hearing Sullivan Ballou's letter to his wife being read while "Ashokan Farewell" plays softly in the background.

Here's what Gizmodo (a tech news site) had to say:

The series uses human voice actors who belong to the Screen Actors Guild (SAG), which is clearly an attempt to tamp down on the inevitable backlash from both inside and outside Hollywood. Folks inside the movie and TV industry have fiercely pushed back against the use of AI to replace the skilled artists and actors who create the media we watch. That concern obviously comes from a place of self-interest because nobody wants to be pushed out of a job. But they also care about the quality of the work being produced. And there’s also been a revolt among the average consumer, people who’ve been inundated with the lowest-grade AI garbage imaginable. It’s really everywhere now. (Source: Gizmodo)

 Writer Matt Novak further characterized it as AI slop that "looks like dogshit."

Over time, we can expect a couple of things. The quality of AI-generated movies will no doubt improve. There'll be real actors behind some of the AIs, who may be just as happy to accept half pay to lend their name and voice without having to show up on location and do multiple takes. There'll be AIs who don't represent an actual human being at all. But they'll have backstories, social media presence, and adoring followers. 

And moviegoers will grow to accept the soulless enterprise that is AI when it enters the creative realm.

AI has its place, its uses. Trouble is, it's going to be creepily creeping in to places where we'd be better off without it.

Guess we'll have to take the advice of the Ay-Ay-Ay-Ay song and canta no llores. (Sing, don't cry.)

Meanwhile:

Gizmodo reached out to Ken Burns for comment, but didn’t immediately receive a reply 

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(Image Source: CineD)

Mar-a-Lago Face

I suppose it's one of the more benign aspects of the entirely regrettable Reign of Trump. It's not the lying, the boneheaded tariffs, the embrace of Russia and the rejection of Europe, the racism, the anti-science, the destruction of respected institutions, the violence, the white nationalism, the venality, the weaponization of the Department of Justice ("Justice"?), the villification of any and all opposition. It's not the astounding corruption. It's not the Epstein files. It's not the prevalence of the hallmarks of authoritarianism: the Cabinet meetings with their interminable asskissing - straight out of the Idi Amin playboo - the rote glorification of Trump by each Cabinet member; the insane egotistical need to have things named for him, monuments erected to him; the Putin-Saddam Hussein-Ceausescu gilding of the White House; the ludicrous pursuit of the Nobel Peace Prize; the even more ludicrous acceptance of the FIFA "Peace Prize." It's not even the day to day pettiness, insults, and stupidity that just wears you down. 

The Mar-a-Lago look for women may be relatively benign in comparison to all of the above, but it sure is a peculiar aspect of the Trump era. 

The two most prominent Mar-a-Lago faces are probably those of Kristi Noem and the now-exiled Kimberly Guilfoyle. 

(We'll ignore Melania here. While she appears to have had beaucoup d' work done - whether it's enhanced her natural beauty or made her look weirdly robotic I'll leave to others to decide - Mel hasn't embraced the full Mar-a-Lago face aesthetic, which has plumped up lips as a principal feature.)

Kristi Noem is naturally very pretty. If you look at pictures of her as governor of South Dakota - before we knew her as the puppy-killer cosplay Barbie who heads up the Department of Homeland Security - she was pleasantly attractive. Now Noem's had the puffy lip treatment, the bronzing, the cascade o'curls hairdo, etc. And she looks artificial. In a role that presumably calls for seriousness of purpose, for gravitas, she's cavorting around like one of Charlie's Angels. (If only they'd drafted Donald Trump to play Charlie, rather than promote him as some sort of business genius on The Apprentice, we could have been spared an awful lot of grief.) Weird, no? But apparently the preferred aesthetic. 

Then there's the once pretty and now hideously overdone Kimberly Guilfoyle. I suppose I should ignore her, as she's been swept aside by Don Trump, Jr. for a younger, wealthier, and more attractive socialite. But when she was on the A Team, or at least its fringes, Guilfoyle went full Mar-a-Lago face + Mar-a-Lago body: lips, hair, bronzer, boobs - and revealing, tight-fitting clothing that she cavorted around in during Trump rallies. Wonder how Kim (and her "work") are holding up in Athens, we're she's the US ambassador to Greece? Probably doing fine over there, out-divaing Maria Callas.

Guilfoyle reminded me of the Palm Beach Trump supporters who are regular presences at Mar a Lago. Lots of makeup. Long curls. Push up and push out bras. Skin tight clothing. And unwavering support for DJT. 

(It also reminds me of what the once-pretty first wife Ivana Trump looked like/dressed like in the years before her death. Colossally made up and crazy looking Interesting, while Ivanka and Tiffany Trump have both had plenty of work done, especially Ivanka, neither has opted for the full Mar-a-Lago look.)

Seriously, does anyone find this aesthetic attractive (other than Trump cultists)? Who wants to look like a Bratz doll brought to life? Some women, apparently. 

Anyway, with Trump in office, the look took off. 

But it seems that:

...as quickly as it rose, the trend may already be losing steam.

...According to recent reporting from USA TODAY, cosmetic professionals and social media watchers are beginning to see signs of fatigue. Searches and inquiries tied directly to the “Mar-a-Lago face” label have slowed, and online conversation has shifted toward newer aesthetics. Despite its ubiquitous appearance at the Trump’s New Year’s Eve party, what once felt like a dominant cultural signal now registers more as a punchline or perhaps a relic of a particularly loud political moment. (Source: Salon)

Good riddance is all I can say. 

Can't wait for the day when we no longer see Kristi Noem, sporting those pouty lips and full-of-baloney curls, wearing her "sexily" positioned baseball cap or cowboy hat, lying about innocent civilian protestors, calling them domestic terrorists. Lying about using neo-Nazi imagery, wording, and music to recruit ICE agents.

Can't wait for the day when we're no longer subjected to weekly videos of Trump dining at his club, with the other tables occupied by paying customers all kitted out in the over-the-top bling that passes for fashion at Mar-a-Lago. (What's going to be the after market for those natty Trump sequined pocketbooks?)

...What remains, though, is the lesson the trend offered while it lasted. The Mar-a-Lago face revealed how ideology can become aesthetic performance, how political identity can be signaled visually rather than verbally, and how consumer culture eagerly monetizes belonging. Cosmetic procedures, once framed primarily as personal choice, became a form of affiliation, something to display, post and brand. 

Grey hair. Thin lips. Wrinkles (and lucky me: thanks to genetics and avoiding the sun, I have precious few of them). Comfy, never in style, never out of style clothing.

Glad that my brand -  aging liberal - doesn't cost a penny.

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Image Source: MaL Women FB Anonymous Works

Image Source: Bratz Doll MGA Entertainment

"Catch me if you can"? Will do!

When I was a kid, I avidly read the book The Great Impostor, which chronicled the exploits of one Ferdinand Waldo Demara, a Massachusetts-born conman who, among other things, forged (fake) careers as a Trappist monk, Benedictine monk, engineer, teacher,  psychologist, prison warden, lawyer, and surgeon. He also founded a college that, miraculously, is still in existence. That many of his exploits involved Catholic institutions made the story all the more interesting to me. (The book formed the loose basis for a movie of the same name, with Demara played by Tony Curtis. I'm sure I saw it at some point, and may look it up one of these days.)

Fast forward to Catch Me If You Can,

a very enjoyable 2002 movie starring Leo DiCaprio as Frank Abagnale, conman extraordinaire. Like DeMara, Abagnale (supposedly) impersonated a doctor, lawyer, and airline pilot along his merry way. As an airline pilot - which is a little scarier a thought than being a lawyer, and a lot scarier a thought than being a doctor, but is REALLY SCARY, I don't think Abagnale ever actually flew a plane. He just deadheaded (cadged free flights), forged checks, and recruited (and physically examined) potential stewardesses - guess that's where being a fake doctor helped.

(Having found it difficult enough to fake my way through professions I was actually skilled at and/or educated for - like waitress and product marketer - the idea of making a career up out of whole cloth is fascinating to me.)

Frank Abagnale isn't the only one who pretended to be a pilot to fly for free. 

Federal prosecutors accused a Canadian man on [January 20, 2026] of doing just that, charging him with wire fraud for a scheme in which they say he pretended to be a pilot and a flight attendant to get hundreds of trips for free.

The man, Dallas Pokornik, used a false identification badge to defraud three airlines of travel benefits, according to an indictment filed in federal court in Hawaii. Mr. Pokornik, 33, had previously worked for a Toronto-based airline as a flight attendant between 2017 and 2019, court documents said, but not as a pilot. (Source: NY Times)

Impersonating a flight attendant for a free flight - which many airlines provide to colleagues at other airlines - is bad enough. Fraud, sure. Theft, absolutely. But pretty much no harm, no foul. And bad enough he scammed his way into free seats in the cabin. On some of his free flights - and there were many of them over the course of four years, on several different airlines - Pokornik, pretending to be a flyboy, asked for and was given a jump seat in the cockpit. Where, presumably, he could have been called on to assist if something happened to the pilot or copilot. Given that his in-flight experience was as a flight attendant, what was he going to do? Offer the other pilot a Biscoff cookie or a barf bag? 

The airlines Pokornik defrauded weren't named in the article, but "one [was] based in Honolulu, one in Chicago and one in Fort Worth." I'm a pretty good guesser, and I'm guessing Hawaiian Airlines, United, and American. I've never flown Hawaiian, but, yeah, I've been on United and American plenty of times. Wonder if Pokornik was ever in the seat next, or maybe even in the cockpit?

Pokornik is in line for a hefty fine and prison sentence. Wonder if it'll end up being worth the free flights he conned his way into?

Pokornik flew down the "catch me if you can" gauntlet, and apparently the airlines took him up on it. 

Anyway, he's grounded now.

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Image Source: Netflix

The Office Park from Hell

In 2024, Shunda Park "materialized and metastasized" almost overnight in the middle of nowhere on the Myanmar border. Unlike office parks that support companies in a wide range of businesses, Shunda - which was run by a Chinese criminal network - from the jump was built and operated for one business purpose only: running lucrative scams. 

There, over 3,500 workers representing nearly 30 countries toiled away under attaboy/attagirl signs reading “Dream chaser,” “Keep going,” “Making money matters the most.” 

Some of those workers had been scammed themselves, thinking that they were getting plum tech and marketing jobs, only to find themselves working at the office park from hell. 

Others thought they were checking out merchandise for online sales businesses. Instead, they were hustled at gunpoint across the river that demarcates the border with Myanmar...(Source: NY Times)

However the new employees managed to arrive, they were quickly onboarded to their new employment reality. 

...all had become skilled in the art of the online grift. When the scammers bilked $5,000 out of someone, they struck a Chinese gong. A $50,000 shakedown earned a celebratory pounding of a giant drum, then an offering to a Chinese deity resplendent in his golden altar. 

This was not just a Nigerian prince email scam center, but a highly sophisticated enterprise that used a complex approach to suckering in victims from around the world:

Using generative intelligence and deepfake videos, as well as fraudulent businesses, websites and financial apps, the scammers at Shunda embraced the long con and reeled in people from almost every demographic.

Then last November, the park was overtaken by the Karen National Liberation Army, one of a number of different rebel groups battling the military junta that took over Myanmar a few years back and plunged the country into a brutal civil war. 

Karen forces closed Shunda down, and most of the scammers had dispersed, but the Times jounalists were able to speak with some of the remaining scammers "both those who were trying to return home and others who wanted to find another job in the fraud business." (Hoping for another job in the fraud biz? Huh? Do what you know, I guess.)

The now unemployed scammers recounted receiving beatings, being shackled, not - no surprise there - getting paid. There were punishment chambers, torture cells:

Ivan, a Malaysian who once worked as a member of the ground staff at the Singapore airport, said he was chained in a crucifixion position and denied food for days.

“You think you know hell,” he said, “and it’s actually even worse.”

Who among us hasn't joked about work being a torture chamber, a gulag? And is there anyone who hasn't seen one of those galley slave cartoons? The beatings will continue until the morale improves. But, yikes, when it comes to torture chambers, this was the real deal. The unreal deal. 

At Shunda, there were some actual paid employees, Chinese nationals who ran the show and lived pretty well in the Shunda compound. There were restaurants. A night club. A basketball court. Nice cars. The bosses lived in "luxury" villas. But some of the Chinese workers were also conned, paid far less than they were promised.  

Despite the fact that Shunda - now destroyed in large part - is in the middle of an active war zone, with Karen forces going at it with the Myanmar military, many of the Chinese workers are reluctant to be repatriated. Their fears are reasonable enough.

 The Chinese government has periodically cracked down on the scamming industry, arresting Chinese workers who are repatriated. So tense was the situation that days before our visit, some Chinese workers had tried unsuccessfully to wrestle weapons away from the Karen soldiers, according to members of the militia and other scammers who witnessed the melee.

One might think that the destruction and occupation of Shunda would give pause to the Chinese outfits that ran them.  Maybe they should be looking to set up shop someplace that's not a civil war zone under active bombardment and featuring armed skirmishes. But no. Not far from Shunda, "scam centers [are] being built, Chinese red lanterns hanging from the eaves. 

As one of those inspirational signs from Shunda said, “Making money matters the most.” 

Guess so.

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Image Source: AP via NPR

Death of a pizza parlor phone order taker

On Christmas Eve, the Upper Crust on Charles Street - my go-to pizza place for the past 20+ years - closed. At first, I thought they were doing a reno, but after the first of the year a sign went up saying that they had closed. Their next closest outlet on Newbury Street was already gone, and after that...Well, I like being able to order my pizza and go pick it up. This worked well, as the Charles Street location was about a 2-minute walk. I suppose I could switch to delivery, but that always seems to add a whole lot of wait time into the process.

So no more Upper Crust. (Oh, boo hoo.)

I liked their pizza, and they had a pretty straightforward website to order from. Or you could call in and have a human take the order down. Neither method was foolproof. Once in a while they screwed up. But it worked pretty well.

Pizza order screw ups do tend to happen on occasion.

For a while, there was a good deep dish pizza - Bel Canto - on Charles Street, with a yummy whole wheat crust, a very tasty red sauce, and lots of interesting toppings. My favorite combo was broccoli and walnuts; my husband's was pepperoni, anchovies, and jalapeno. We used to do half and halfs. One time when we went to pick up, they gave us a spinach-only, which we were not interested in. I wish I could have seen the look on the person's face when they opened the box and saw our order.

One time, in anticipation of a blizzard, Jim and I ordered an extra-large super-deluxe from the late and surely lamented European Restaurant in Boston's North End. Extra-large was the size of a coffee table, so we figured one would hold us for a couple of snowbound days. The super-deluxe had everything on it, but I don't do anchovies, so we asked for no anchovies on half. Well, they made us two extra-larges - one with anchovies, one without - but when they realized their mistake, they only charged us for one. Those pizzas lasted to infinity and beyond and even I, an ardent lover of cold pizza, finally got sick of looking at it while the blizzard raged around us.

Both the Bel Canto and European mixups were pre-Internet. So were both phone orders, which is actually my preferred way even post-Internet. I like having the person take the order repeat it back to me, even though there were inevitably occasional human errors.

But now it seems that some pizza shops are starting to deploy AI. 

Crush Pizza [small local chain] is one of many small restaurants across New England and the country taking orders and fielding other calls using AI, a move helping cut costs and staff amid slim post-pandemic profit margins, inflated food and labor costs, and ongoing labor shortages. These technologies have been met with resistance from some customers who said they can’t get the service they are used to. 

Tony Naser, who rolled out AI answering systems at both of his Massachusetts-based Crush Pizza locations and another chain, Mickey’s N.Y. Pizza in New Hampshire, said many customers were “surprised,” and some “standoffish,” after the change. (Source: Boston Globe)

Most clients, Naser says, have come around, but I'm guessing that plenty are still not happy. They're probably just gritting their teeth and unhappily accepting one more human touch has given way to technology.

The technology Naser is deploying is from Loman.AI, an Austin TX startup with a website that boasts "Meet your new best employee, an AI phone agent for restaurants." Well, that doesn't exactly give me much by way of the feels. Who needs human employees, anyway?

And what's with the name Loman.AI. Loman is not the name of either of the co-founders, so where did it come from? How many people are there out there who don't hear the name "Loman" and think Willy Loman, the sad and suicidal lead character in Death of a Salesman. Or is Death of a Salesman no longer read? Anyway, a peculiar (and peculiarly depressing IYKYK) name for a company, me thinks.

Loman - AI, not Willy - says that their AI ordering system has an accuracy rate of 98.6 percent, which they compared to a 94 percent accuracy score found among data-taking receptionists in an entirely different industry. (Trust me when I say that marketers have a tendency to glom on to such favorable comparisons, whether they make sense or not.)

Outlets that have adopted AI ordering say that most people order online, anyway. So taking humans off the phone is no big deal.  And for them, AI ordering handles the phone orders better. No phone ringing off the hook; no geting put on endless hold; no disconnects. Unfortunately, the folks who still order via phone rather than online tend to want to use the phone to connect with another human. 

Tony Naser has become a big proponent of AI phone ordering. After all, larger chains/franchises like Chipotle and Domino's have been using such services for years. Why can't the mom-and-pop chains like his enjoy the same benefits? 

Naser said he feels local stores are being held to a different standard even as more large chains phase out human receptionists.

“You can’t call a lot of these big fast food chains. So why do customers get upset when a smaller mom-and-pop shop wants to try to get a little technological advancement or be a little bit more efficient?” Naser said.

Naser's got a point. 

But so do the folks who just want to have some human interaction. And so do the folks who want other folks to have jobs, even it's a crummy pizza parlor job for a high school kid answering phones and screwing up an occasional order. And there's no doubt that those jobs are going away. Loman says that two-thirds of their clients are able to cut staff by roughly one "human" shift per day. So, death of a pizza parlor phone order taker.

Where it all ends up, I don't know. 

My immediate worry is where I'm going to get pizza the next time I'm hankering for a sausage, ricotta, and roasted red pepper from Upper Crust? Sure hope another pizza joint goes into the space they just vacated.

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Image Source: Loman.ai

Remarkably, Bill Belichick makes Bob Kraft look good

Locals have now had a week to recover from the Patriots' Super Bowl loss.

My recovery is blessedly complete. In fact, I was fully over the loss as soon as I finished watching Bad Bunny's excellent halftime show. By that point, the handwriting was on the scoreboard and I figured the Pats were toast. So I turned off the SB and turned on All Creature Great and Small on PBS. 

I was pretty mixed on whether I wanted the Pats to win to begin with. I'm a frontrunner, fair weather fan, but I did watch a few games this year once the team got good. I liked the coach and what little I knew of the team. So go Pats!

But I can't stand the Trumpist team owner Bob Kraft, especially given that, shortly before the Super Bowl, he made a pointed and highly publicized appearance at the premier of Melania, the apparently pointless puff-umentary about FLOTUS. 

So, I was there watching the Big Game rooting for the team to win, but for Krafty to lose. Guess I couldn't lose.

I was also cheered by Kraft's not getting elected to the Football Hall of Fame. In truth, given some of the crappy team owners who are "enshrined" in Canton, Ohio, Kraft probably should be there. But Kraft has been shamelessly lobbying for election, almost but not quite exceeding the aggression and zest with which his BFF has begged for a Nobel Peace Prize. 

A week before Kraft was dissed, former Pats' coach Bill Belichick also failed to make the Hall of Fame cut. The rejection of Belichick's candidacy is perhaps even more ridiculous than Kraft's coming up short on the ballot. Love him or hate him, Belichick wears an awful lot of Super Bowl rings, and that all can't be 100% attributed to wonder-GOAT Tom Brady. But Belichick is a gruff, snide jerk, so he didn't get voted in his first time on the ballot. In large part because he's a jerk. (As an aside, if being an a-hole were a dealbreaker for election to the Football Hall of Fame, there probably wouldn't be ten people in there.)

An interesting aspect of these dual HofF snubs is that Belichick and Kraft have been at odds for the past few years. One of their main beefs was Kraft having engineered a documentary, The Dynasty, which pretty much ignored Belichick's role in all those Super Bowls wins. 

In the aftermath of the documentary, there's been some back and forth sniping between Bill and Bob. But when Belichick failed to make the Hall of Fame, Kraft was supremely gracious. The Pats' owner:

...issued a glowing statement on his former coach, acknowledging their differences, then saying, “He is the greatest coach of all time and he unequivocally deserves to be a first-ballot Hall of Famer.” (Source: Boston Globe)

How to Belichick return the favor?

Well, on the eve of the Patriots' ignominious Super Bowl appearance, Belichick appeared with his girlfriend at a UNC basketball game while she was wearing an Orchids of Asia tee-shirt. Orchids of Asia was the Florida massage parlor where, back in 2019, one Robert Kraft was arrested for engaging in prostitution. The charges were dropped in 2020, but the reputational damage had been done. And the million jokes and memes regarding Kraft's not-so-happy ending have still not exhausted themselves. 

Anyway, as The Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy wrote:

This was nothing less than a declaration of war on the Krafts. It almost guarantees that the Belichick-Kraft feud will never end, and creates a world in which it’s impossible to imagine Belichick ever being inducted into the Patriots Hall of Fame. [Note: not to be confused with the the overall Football HofF.] 

Did Belichick really need to remind the world that, whatever success he achieved in the NFL, he's now a mediocre college coach at the University of North Carolina. And did he really need to remind the world that for the past few years he's been embarrassing himself by having his 24-year old girlfriend Jordon Hudson hanging on his arm - and humiliating himself by having Hudson (50 years Belichick's junior) call the PR shots for him. This isn't the first time she's made him look like a fool. And it likely won't be the last. 

But what was Bill Belichick thinking? That this stunt was funny? That it made him look cool?

Agreed that it is kind of funny, but it made him look like petty and nasty. Which may well be Belichick's true self. But it sure doesn't make him look like a mature, accomplished, pretty darned great football coach who should absolutely be in the Football Hall of Fame. Belichick may think his GF is polishing his brand, but all she's doing is tarnishing it.

What's remarkable to me is that Bill Belichick is actually managing to make Bob Kraft look good.

Shaughnessy speculates that the Football Hall of Fame voters will come to their senses, and that both Bill Belichick and Bob Kraft could well end up getting elected next year now that the voters have vented their initial spleen and shaking their animus out of their systems. This would put them together on the dais at Canton in 2027 when next year's winners are inducted. 

Won't that be a wonder to behold. Not a big football fan, but I could well tune in for that show.

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Image Source:  Savage Sports on X

Skeletons in the closet?

Certainly, everyone's entitled to a hobby. 

Personally, I've never had one - if you don't count reading, watching the Red Sox, or fretting over the news - but if someone wants to go all-in on stamp collecting, painting still lifes, gardening, or cupcake decorating, well, have at it. And if you can monetize your hobby, well, have at that, too.

But what do we make of one 34-year old hobbyist/entrepreneur Jonathan Gerlach?

A Pennsylvania man has been charged with stealing and desecrating dozens of skulls, bones and other remains from a historic cemetery, the authorities said. The local prosecutor described the case as “a horror movie come to life.” (Source: NY Times)

The charges against Gerlach - and there are hundreds of them - include abuse of a corpse; theft; burglary; criminal trespass; intentional desecration of public monuments, venerated objects, and historical lots and burial places. As of early January, he was being held on $1M bail.

Gerlach had collected over "100 sets of human and skeletal reamins from his home and storage unit." Under surveillance, skulls and bones were seen "in plain view" in his car. Yikes! Whatever happened to bobble head doggos and "my kid's an honor student" decals? And:

When Mr. Gerlach was taken into custody on Jan. 6, the authorities found the mummified remains of two children, three skulls and other bones, in a burlap bag, the affidavit said.

Oh.

The cemetery where Gerlach was doing his desecrating is Mount Moriah, one of those beautiful, bucolic, garden-style resting places established in the mid-1800's. Over 160 acres, it has over 150,000 gravesites. And a lot of mausoleums.

Gerlach was apparently not interested in the mess, fuss, effort, and more obvious possibility of detection associated with digging up a grave. He raided mausoleums and the crypts inside.

One of the crypts inside, which had held the remains of a girl who was born in 1854 and died in 1869, had been opened and was now empty, the affidavit said.

Another mausoleum held a Monster energy drink can that had been left behind, it said. This provided an opportunity to take fingerprints and a swab for DNA testing.

Mr. Gerlach is also accused of stealing jewelry, some of which was believed to have been taken with the human remains.

Some of the remains were pushing 200 years old. Others were of more recent vintage. One body still had a pacemaker attached. 

So far, no motive has been unearthed. (Sorry. Couldn't help it!) But monetization may have been a factor:

In addition to investigating Gerlach, authorities are also investigating a Facebook group he was connected to, called "Human Bones and Skull Selling Group." He was tagged and pictured holding a skull on the group page, ABC 6 reported. (Source: People)

Bones and skull selling group? 

Just how many macabre ghouls are there trading in human skulls and bones? To each his/her own, I guess. But I'd rather have folks trading/selling stamps. Or their bad-art still lifes. Or cupcake decorating trips.

This is just so very, very weird.

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Image Source: Hidden City Philadelphia