Up, up and away

What's not to like about balloons?

They're bright, they're cheerful, they're fun and, if there are balloons around, it's generally because there's a joyous occasion happenin'. 

I know this joyous occasion thing isn't always true. Some folks release balloons at memorial services/funerals. And, let's face it, as much as you can try to make a memorial service/funeral a joyous occasion - and, trust me here, you can definitely have fun at/with a memorial service/funeral - there's generally an undercurrent of sadness.

But mostly, balloons = fun.

Of course, there's always the burst balloon that brings on a mini-flood of tears. Not to mention the look of shock and awe of the face of a kid when they realize that, when you let go of a balloon, it floats up, up and away. And, of course, much of the time, the letting go is of an expensive balloon, not the cheapo multi-pack kind you get at CVS: the kind that bring your lungs to the edge of collapse when you're blowing them up. No, those runaway balloons are apt to be of the expensive, mylar variety. So long, Minnie Mouse.  Au revoir, Thomas the Train.

But, as I said, balloons for the most part are fun. 

Except when they're not.

As in when a whole big old bunch of them get released into the great outdoors, and they end up damaging the environment.

So Rhode Island has just signed into law a bill prohibiting anyone from "intentionally releasing 10 or more helium or other lighter-than-air balloons outdoors."

How, I wonder, would one unintentionally release 10 or more balloons outdoors, but I guess these things happen. You could be holding 10 or more balloons and have a hand cramp. Or a brain cramp. And just let go. 

Something like this happened to me with a big tub of movie popcorn. Years ago, I was at the movies with my sister Trish and friend Peter, and I was seated on the aisle, holding the still mostly full bucket of popcorn. Suddenly, it just flew out of my hand and into the aisle. It almost made me believe in poltergeists. 

Anyway, popcorn strewn across the already grotty movie theater carpeting wasn't really doing anyone much, if any, harm. Balloons, on the other hand...

Wildlife advocates say that balloon releases, which have typically been used as a display for memorials or celebrations, have become an environmental nuisance as birds and marine animals can ingest or become entangled in the balloon litter. When the law takes effect in November, violators will face a fine of $100. The law does not impact hot-air balloons, indoor balloon releases, or scientific and weather research. (Source: The Boston Globe)

I'm all for the ban. Balloon litter just plain isn't good for flora and, especially, fauna. Right up there with the plastic rings that hold soda six-packs together. I don't consume a lot of soda, but when I do buy it, I immediately pull all the cans out of the plastic holder and cut the holder up into pieces, so that there are no longer any bits of plastic making up a circle that could strangle a turtle or permanently clamp shut a bird's beak. So, yay, ban!

The article states that Massachusetts has a similar ban in place, but I couldn't find a definitive answer on google. And it's not worth contacting my state rep to find out what the story is.

Seriously, though,  can Massachusetts be less enlightened than Tennessee, which I read has a balloon ban, on this or any other front?

Balloons Blow is a Florida-based non-profit behind balloon laws. They're not thrilled with the new RI law, which is watered down from what was originally proposed, but they're happy to be making some headway.

On their website, the organization shows the grim reality of poor little creatures getting caught up in balloon detritus. And then there's the fact that, even if those limped out balloons aren't being ingested by (or strangling) animals, they're being added to the huge floating debris patches out there. (C.f., the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.)

Balloons Blow also offers some celebratory alternatives - some action-oriented, some purely decorative. All sustainable. 

These include dancing inflatables, ribbon dancers, garden spinners, bunting, pinwheels. Instead of releasing balloons, have some drummers drumming. Or set out a flock of reusable pink flamingoes. Or you can decorate with tissue paper pompoms. Now, I've never made a tissue paper pompoms, but my freshman year in high school, for our field day, my home room ran a booth where we sold cookies. The "roof" was chicken wire covered with white, yellow, and aqua Kleenex flowers we made by the hundreds, under the keen-eyed direction of Sister Josephine of the Sacred Heart. The trim was yellow, the background white, and our homeroom number - 101 - was written out in aqua. (Wish I had a picture. I'm sure it was stunning.) Anyway, I made over 100 of those flowers, created by folding a piece of Kleenex into pleats, securing it in the middle with a bit of wire, and then fluffing it out. I bet tissue paper pompoms use a similar manufacturing process. So this I could do. 

Not on the Balloon Blows list: flaming Chinese lanterns, butterfly releases, or dove releases. All bad for the environment and/or exploitative of animals. 

Even the balloon industry trade association, the Balloon Council - "Affirming America's Ongoing Love Affair with Balloons" - has come out against releasing balloons. 

"This change in stance fully recognizes the need for everyone to be as ‘green’ as we possibly can be to protect our planet.”

There doesn't seem to be much downside to outlawing balloon releases. Other than the argument that I'm sure is coming: if balloon releases are outlawed, only outlaws will release balloons.  AKA, mah freedom!

Meanwhile, I'll be just as happy not to look, up in the sky, and wonder whether what I'm seeing is a nasty old balloon release.

Congratulations, Rhode Island!