Remember when Hertz was all "We're Number One!"

It's been a while since I last rented a car: a wedding in the Catskills a few pre-pandemic years ago. Although I usually rented from Avis, my rental that time was from Hertz - I think because it had a more convenient Sunday drop-off site.

If and when I need a car, and my preferred options - Uber, Zipcar, my brother's car, or any version of public

transportation - aren't available or feasible, I'm not sure which outfit I'd go with.

But based on a recent article I saw, I'm leaning towards the "We Try Harder" folks at Avis, rather than letting Hertz put me in the driver's seat.

Seems like Hertz customer service has gone down hill from the days of yore when they sped to our side to unlock a Hertz rental that was frozen solid in New Haven one New Year's Day, maybe 40 years ago or thereabouts.

Despite this positive, I've had some lousy car rental experiences over the years. 

In Las Vegas on business one summer, I rented a car to drive out to Flagstaff, AZ to visit my brother Tom and his wife. 

The car was black - never a great choice in the desert - but the worst thing about it was the failed AC. I didn't realize it wasn't working until I'd crossed the Hoover Dam. So I stuck with it on what was a hot and scary drive. Scary because, in those early cell phone days, the coverage along the way was truly terrible. And hot because, well, it was hot. Anyway, there I was buzzing through desert where for miles the only things to see were tumbleweeds and the occasional sundried cattle skull. I'll say one thing for being on empty and isolated highways: it's really easy to find yourself gunning well into the 90's. Wheeeee.  

By Flagstaff, the weather was blessedly cool, but on my return, the closer I got to Las Vegas, the more unbearable the conditions. 

And would the rental agency - whichever one it was - give me any money off for my troubles? Hell, no.

Was it Hertz? Dunno. But, given their current reputation for customer service, it sure could have been. 

For one thing, a number of clients have reported getting tagged with a $400 charge for smoking-while-driving - even though they're non-smokers. 

This actually makes little sense to me.

If they charged someone a smaller fee - like $25 - folks might just shrug it off rather than contest it. But $400? Who wouldn't fight that fee? 

Maybe Hertz is just looking for the float while the issue gets resolved. 

Then there was the poor woman who found a used condom on the floor a car that was supposedly "Gold Standard Clean." 

Actually, Faith Cenobio didn't find a used condom. Her 7-year-old niece did, reporting it to her aunt as "a plastic thing."

Ugh.

When she'd picked the car up, Faith had done a cursory+ inspection. She'd noticed that the tank, which was supposed to be full, was running on empty. And she'd noted that the car didn't look like it had been vacuumed recently. But somehow she missed the full-to-the-brim condom. (At the time, she did ask for another car, but was told there were none.)

So, used condom on the floor.

Well, yuck. 

I've had a few hotel yuck experiences. In a cheapo motel I stayed at in Las Vegas - yes, that Las Vegas - when my college roommate and I drove cross country (a journey during which we mostly camped, but occasionally splurged on sleeping under a roof), we found a coiled up pair of Jockey shorts in the dresser.

Fast forward a few years, a few thousand miles, and a hotel that was way up the food chain from the Vegas dump, my husband and I were staying (a splurge) at the Pierre in NY. We had a room overlooking Central Park. As we pulled back the curtain to take in the view, I noticed a long cigar ash, coiled on the rug.

Unfortunately, yuck does happen.

But a full bag o' Trojan?

Faith Cenobio called Hertz to report the incident and asked for a clean car, but, alas, there were none available. 

“The manager also insisted that the car had been cleaned,” Cenobio recalled. “I told her to check her notes from when I picked up the car. Then she admitted that the car hadn’t been vacuumed because it had been raining.” (Source: LA Times)

Hertz offered her $100 credit for her next rental. Faith pushed back and got them to take $100 off the current fee. 

And when she returned the car, she insisted that they inspect the car. Everything seemed to check out. 

But Hertz was apparently desperate for cash. 

Just prior to boarding her flight, she said, Hertz emailed her a revised receipt that included a $75 cleaning charge.

After multiple attempts to reach someone, Cenobio said, she finally connected with a service rep who informed her that she was being billed for dog hair in the vehicle. Needless to say, there were no dogs in the car.

“The service rep said that unless I have photographic proof, they’re not going to drop the fee,” Cenobio said.

How does one prove - photographically or otherwise - that they haven't had dogs in their car?

Eventually, the cleaning fee was forgiven "' as a one-time gesture.'"

I'm guessing that Faith Cenobio had a different sort of 'one-time gesture' for her friends at Hertz. 

I suppose that's about what we can expect from Hertz. After all, they're the company that had the bad judgement to use O.J. Simpson as a spokesman. This was back in the day when Hertz was all about "We're Number One."

Hertz is in trouble. Bankruptcy, covid, mismanagement. Time, methinks, that they might want to borrow an idea from their archrivals at Avis: We Try Harder. 

Bogus charges and generally lousy service are no way to keep their customers satisfied, that's for sure.