Birkin Bag class action? Oh, FFS.

You can get a Hermès Birkin bag for as little as $10K and change. Or swallow hard and pay $2M+ for a diamond-encrusted gold and crocodile (or is it golden crocodile?) miniature Sac Bijou Birkin which - if I've got this right - is a fully-functional Birkin bag designed to be worn as a bracelet.

But frankly, even if I were the sort of ritzy gal able and willing to spend $10K and change for a pocketbook, it wouldn't be a Birkin bag. No shoulder strap? Forget about it! Who wants to lug a bag around by those squinchy little handles. Sheesh.

Oh, if someone gave me a Birkin bag, I wouldn't say 'no.' As long as it was in a color I liked and didn't involve crocodile or alligator or ostrich, but just plain old-fashioned goat-lined calf leather.

Apparently, if I were the sort of ritzy gal able and willing to spend $10K and change for a pocketbook, looks like I might not be able to get my hands on one. 

This comes as a surprise to me, since when you google "birkin bag for sale" plenty of options pop up. 

But you can't buy one online from Hermès, and the Hermès boutiques where you can make your purchase only keep a few in stock at a time, and when new bags arrive, they fly off the shelves. 

But just whose Birkin-lovin' hands do they fly into? Not everyone who wants to get their Birkin-lovin' hands on one. And those poor deprived things are taking action. Class action.

Luxury leader Hermès has been hit with a class-action lawsuit alleging the company is engaged in the “unlawful practice of tying,” requiring customers to purchase ancillary Hermès products, such as shoes, scarves, and jewelry, before being given the opportunity to purchase a Birkin or Kelly bag.

Claiming the company violates antitrust laws and is engaged in unfair, anticompetitive business practices, the two plaintiffs leading the suit filed in a California court invite other frustrated consumers to join their cause so they will have the right to purchase these highly-coveted and super-expensive handbags in the open market. (Source: Forbes)

Not that I have any sympathy for Hermès - come on, a $2M fully-operating pocketbook that's so tiny all you can fit in it is a dime and a tic-tac and you have to wear it as a bracelet; not to mention those ugly-arse scarves with the stirrup design - but I have even less sympathy for those who feel so put-upon, so aggrieved, about not being able to score a Birkin bag that they need to bring their pissiness to court. 

Boo-f'ing-hoo. Don't these folks have better things to do with their time? Some power to the people! And do we really need the court system, which our taxes pay for, clogged with suits like this.

Sure, I'm sure there are plenty of snobby, snarky Hermès salespeople who reserve the short supply of bags that show up in their stores for their fave customers, who inevitably would be those who spend the most money with them. 

Given the Hermès price point, I guess this gives new meaning to that word "class" in class action.

Meanwhile, if you're so desperate for a Birkin bag, you can get knock-offs for as little as $125.