Talk about a soap opera!

Who among us hasn't had at least a tiny bit of a fantasy about a celeb? 

Say, when you're twelve, you might dream about being Dr. Kildare's fellow-intern girlfriend? Or an older woman might have George Clooney enjoying her cacio e pepe. 

Not that either of these fantasy sitches ever happened to anyone in the real world - not that I know of, anyway -  but I can imagine that they could possibly occur. The fantasies, not the realities. 

But for Roxanne Doucette, her fantasy life spilled over into her (sur)real world, and she's now being charged with attempted murder of her husband, resisting arrest, and assaulting a police officer - all because someone pretending to be a soap operat star she crushed on urged her to off her hubbie.

For poor addle-brained Roxanne, the messages from the guy who played Ridge Forrester - a soap name, if ever - on The Bold and the Beautiful were a dream come true. Here she was, getting on in years, a blue collar "girl" from Central Mass, living a life that was none too exciting. 

Roxanne Doucette had always wanted to meet a celebrity. And there she was, at 64, receiving a string of flirty text messages from soap opera veteran Thorsten Kaye. He called her “honey” and sent her heart emojis. He said he missed her, that he needed her in his life.

Then the messages took a sinister turn, according to police records. The mysterious admirer told her that she needed to get rid of her husband. (Source: Boston Globe)

Her MO for getting rid of her 73-year-old husband Paul was poisoning his soup. (Old family recipe?)

Meanwhile - and I can sympathize here - she was also duped out of $4K or 8K - I've seen both numbers - she could ill afford by the scammer she thought was (dropdead good looking) Thorsten Kaye. 

The plot unraveled when Paul D ate the soup and was hospitalized. While sitting with her mother in his hospital room, daughter Nicole Heath began "scrolling through her mother's phone" - as curious folks are inclined to do - and found some pretty incriminating Facebook messages between her Roxanne D and the fake Thorsten K. 

Here's what Heath found:

“You have to get rid of your husband honey. I need you so much,” the scammer told Doucette, who responded that she needed to do some thinking and would talk to him later. “Okay honey,” the scammer wrote back, according to the police report.

Shortly after 2:30 p.m., Doucette wrote that she was “making an amazing potion. Special potion. He will be hungry when he gets back. Just enough for him.” At 4:26 p.m., she wrote, “Hubby got back not feeling well. Maybe I can collect life insurance.”

“Honey when will that be?” the scammer asked. “Don’t know,” she said.

But Roxanne D acted fast, and a few minutes after this exchange, she was calling 911 to say that her husband was "unresponsive but breathing."

Hmmm.

This understandably made Heath a tad bit suspicious, and when her father came to, she asked him what had put him in the hospital. 

He said her mom had made him some soup but it wasn’t very good — it had a bitter taste.

This prompted Heath to call the police. When they arrived and tried to get her phone and tablet, Roxanne D refused to give them up. After repeated requests,

“She still refused. She also stated that we were done and that she was going to go back to her husband,” according to the police report. 

The cops weren't going to let her back in the room with a husband she might have tried to kill, and, when they went to arrest her, she kicked one of them in the crotch. Oh. 

Roxanne D claims that it's all a big mistake.

“What they say is wrong. Because I’m a wonderful cook. My son’s gone to culinary school. I learned from the best — my mom,” she said. “And I did not try to poison my husband.”

Her position is that her husband may have had a stroke.  

Sure, Thorsten was Facebooking sweet nothings in her ear. 

('Thorsten' was) saying that they loved me and they wanted me to leave my husband, but I had no intentions of leaving my husband. I love my husband very much," she said.

Paul D has a restraining order against Roxanne D. I'm not quite clear on what her status is, but I think she may be in home detention while the police complete their investigation Preliminary toxology reports didn't show the presence of any poison, but the tests were supposedly incomplete. Anyway, she keeps claiming her innocence.

“I want you to come home,” Doucette said [in a plea to Paul D]. “I did not hurt you.”

Talk about a plot worthy of a soap opera.  

I saw Roxanne D interviewed on the news, and she is completely pathetic - young old and restless, definitely in need of some guiding light. 

Sometimes folks just can't keep their fantasies in their head, where they belong.