Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Incentivize me

Not that you need me to tell you that there’s always something on the ‘net to waste your time reading – especially if you have the incentive of coming up with daily blog fodder. So I recognized that the article on Smart Money on folks having to work longer and harder, and take on additional roles, because of The Great Recession, was likely to be both a time waster and a blog fodder producer. Which indeed it was.

Anyone who’s ever worked in a small company will get the longer-harder-additional-roles-for-no-more-money bit. That, I suspect, has always been and always will be. But now the practice has a name. If, in the name of cost-efficiency, you’re a marketing rep doubling as the cleaning lady, you’ve got a “superjob.”

What’s apparently new is that this is becoming the norm across business, whatever the company size or sector. Everyone has to do more for less or we’ll go out of business. (With the handy subtext of, or we’ll outsource or offshore your job to someone who’s even more desperate for work, and you’ll never, ever, ever find a job again.) All, of course, while on the large company side of things, corporate profits and executive salary and bonus payouts seem to be dazzlingly up.

This trend may well outlast the dire economy, as:

…some believe the shift [to the wear many hats mode of working] is permanent, as the quickening pace of change demands more flexibility from everyone at the office. Management consultant Rich Moran, whose clients have included Apple and AT&T, says that going forward, employees will do whatever it takes to help their company compete: "Job descriptions are written in sand, and the wind is blowing."

And that’s okay. But you sure do hope that eventually this will turn into a more equitable distribution of whatever profits this approach yields. (A study cited in the article said that only 7% of those surveyed received any additional compensation for taking on added work.)

Personally, I do believe that we’re witnessing what is starting to seem like an inexorable Bob Cratchit-ization of the workforce (without the hope that Tiny Tim will turn Ebenezer Scrooge’s stony heart).

Fortunately, there appears to be a point of diminishing returns to the pile on.

Turns out, the practice reduces productivity, because it takes a ton of mental energy to switch from one task to the next. In one five-year study conducted at a midsize recruiting firm, researchers affiliated with MIT's Sloan School of Management* found that when employees took on additional assignments, firm revenue and project completion increased but only up to a point. When the caseload piled higher, speed and completion rates plummeted.

But senior management might not even notice it. Working regular 14-hour days can end them up in “a state of cognitive impairment comparable to that of someone who has just enjoyed a three-martini lunch.” Wheeeeee.

What’s apparently on the rise are incentive programs, formal and informal.

Mentioned in the article was an Chief HR Officer who, when giving an employee an attaboy, will:

…call the employee's family to express appreciation ringing an executive's wife, for example, to talk about how his contribution makes a difference.

OMG. You can’t eat thanks to begin with, let alone thanks given to someone else.

But, hey, I do know up close and personal that at least having your work acknowledged counts for something. Still, I am somehow finding it impossible to envision this scenario:

“Honey, the most wonderful thing happened today. Betty from HR called to tell me that your contribution is making a difference. Now I understand why you’ve had to miss so many of the kids soccer games and ballet recitals. It’s all okay. I’ve even made your favorite pot roast, and shipped the kids next door for the night. Betty really made me realize just what a great guy I married.”

Most of the incentive plans noted were a little better than the HR call to the spouse. In these plans, employees were rewarded points to be used to purchase the kind of catalog items you might not buy if you had to use your own money, or which you might want but could definitely put off buying until, say, infinity. The grab bag list include a canoe, a Roomba, and a La-Z-Boy recliner. Not that you’d have any time to paddle the canoe or recline in the La-Z-Boy, but the Roomba might come in handy, given that, with all the extra work, you probably didn’t have much time to clean.

My favorite incentive went to a credit union teller who was asked to:

Organize customer-appreciation day with a Greek theme, arranging food, decorating and persuading fellow reps to dress up as gladiators and goddesses.

Well, remind me to stay out of credit unions on Greek Day. Or is it Greco-Roman Day. Gladiators were Roman, right? And how humiliating to be asked to dress up like this at work. But the teller’s reword for all this was what really got to me:

Thank you e-card from company VP; choice of gifts included an 11-piece pet clipper kit, a digital ear thermometer and a Proctor Silex power can opener. (Price of a similar can opener on Amazon.com: $14.99.)

e-Card from a VP? Digital ear thermometer? Do the rewards never end?

Well, I guess it’s better than having the head of HR call your wife to thank her for the sheets used to make the gladiator and goddess costumes.

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*That’s my school!

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