Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The November Classic: my team in the 2010 World Series

Red Sox aside, there are any number of teams I wouldn’t have minded seeing play in this year’s World Series, which opens tomorrow night in San Francisco. Of the teams who made it to the playoffs, I could have happily gotten behind the Tampa Bay Rays, as I so happily did in 2008, or the Philadelphia Phillies, as I so happily did in 2009.  This year, would have been thrilled to see the Minnesota Twins make it to the Big Dance. They’re just so Midwest-nice.  The same goes for the Cincinnati Reds. (All is forgiven for your 1975 bad-call defeat of our beloved Olde Towne Team; if “we’d” won in 1975, 2004 wouldn’t have been nearly as dramatic, exciting and gratifying.) I’m not wild about the Atlanta Braves, but who could begrudge Bobby Cox a World Series win during his last year as manager?

Sadly, of my 2010 World Series wishes to date, only one has been granted. Sure, it’s a big one: the Yankees lost! 

I so wish I had a dog in this hunt!

Alas, as grateful as I am to the Rangers for knocking out the Yankees – with Alex Rodriguez (who abandoned the Rangers for the bright lights and big bucks of the Apple) ending it all on a called third strike, no less – I can’t just throw in with them to win it all. (Even though I think they will.) There’s just something not to like. (True confession: it’s probably all political.)

In need of a process to determine which team to root for, I came up with a comparison chart. So here goes:

 

Texas
Rangers

San Francisco Giants

The City Middle of nowhere; no downtown; too hot; grassy knoll. Admittedly, good barbecue. Spectacularly beautiful; urban-urbane; those little cable cars… ADVANTAGE Giants.
The State Terrain not generally to my liking; too much influence on textbooks. (On the other hand, “it is the only place on earth bluebonnets grow.”) Spectacularly beautiful; etc. ADVANTAGE Giants.
Song about the City Big D (Little A – Double L – A-S). You’ve probably never even heard of it. So I rest my case. I Left My Heart in San Francisco and or San Francisco (Open your golden gate)  ADVANTAGE Giants.
Song about the State Eyes of Texas, Deep in the Heart of Texas, Yellow Rose of Texas. ADVANTAGE Texas. California Here I Come, Hotel California
TV Show Dallas.Admittedly, watching this got me through grad school, but who really cares who shot JR? Streets of San Francisco.Karl Malden and Michael Douglas when he was still cute? What’s not to like, buddy boy? ADVANTAGE Giants.
The Manager Ron Washington – seems more excitable than your average MLB manger; house in New Orleans destroyed by Katrina.  ADVANTAGE Texas. Bruce Bochy – not bad looking, and bonus points for having been born in France
Team Name Texas Rangers: a bit law and order for my taste, but makes sense. ADVANTAGE Texas. San Francisco Giants. No meaning whatsoever. Carpet bagger name kept when team moved from NY to SF in the late 1950’s.
Team History Hapless Washington Senators, absconded to Texas in 1971. Once managed by Ted Williams. Christy Mathewson, Iron Man McGinnity, Merkle’s Boner, Mel Ott, Bobby Thomson’s home run, Willie Mays (Say hey!) ADVANTAGE Giants.
Color Scheme Red, white and blue. Yeah, you and just about every other team in major league sports… Black & orange.  Could conceivably win it all on Halloween.  ADVANTAGE Giants.
Stadium Rangers Ballpark – actually looks pretty nice AT&T Park. Bogus  name, but out of the park homers end up in the Pacific Ocean, where they’re chased down by fans in kayaks. ADVANTAGE Giants.
Player with a great baseball name Elvis Andrus – gotta love this one, even though Andrus was probably named after his mother Elvia, rather than after the King. Buster Posey – has to be one of the all time best; almost as good as Champ Summers.  ADVANTAGE Giants.
Yuck factor Formerly co-owned by George W Bush.
NO ADVANTAGE.
The steroidal Barry Bonds.
NO ADVANTAGE.
‘We deserve it’ factor “We’ve never won a World Series in our whole, entire lives.” Oh, boo hoo. You’ve only been around since 1961, and in Texas since 1971. BFD. Try being a Chicago Cubs fan. (Haven’t won the World Series since 1908.) “We haven’t won a World Series since 1954.” Oh, boo hoo. You’ve only been in San Francisco since 1957. BFD. Try being a Chicago Cubs fan. (Haven’t won the World Series since 1908.) Still, you’ve waited longer. ADVANTAGE Giants.
Hair Elvis Andrus – cool ‘fro, bro. ADVANTAGE Texas. Tim Lincecum – is it Breck-girl shiny or just plain greasy? (Brian Wilson’s dyed beard is a hoot, however.)
League American. I try to be loyal….
ADVANTAGE Texas
National
Payroll $55M. While the ‘you get what you pay for advantage goes to SF’, the moral highground’s held by the Rangers
ADVANTAGE Texas
$98M
Friends & family there Yes to both. ADVANTAGE Texas. No one

Final score: San Francisco Giants 9, Texas Rangers 7.

Say, hey. It looks like I’m rooting for the Giants.

Go team!

aaaGiants

1 comment:

valerie said...

Classic Maureen. I'll go Rangers thanks to your diligent and completely impartial analysis. hahahahaha. Thanks again for many mornings.