Red Sox aside, there are any number of teams I wouldn’t have minded seeing play in this year’s World Series, which opens tomorrow night in San Francisco. Of the teams who made it to the playoffs, I could have happily gotten behind the Tampa Bay Rays, as I so happily did in 2008, or the Philadelphia Phillies, as I so happily did in 2009. This year, would have been thrilled to see the Minnesota Twins make it to the Big Dance. They’re just so Midwest-nice. The same goes for the Cincinnati Reds. (All is forgiven for your 1975 bad-call defeat of our beloved Olde Towne Team; if “we’d” won in 1975, 2004 wouldn’t have been nearly as dramatic, exciting and gratifying.) I’m not wild about the Atlanta Braves, but who could begrudge Bobby Cox a World Series win during his last year as manager?
Sadly, of my 2010 World Series wishes to date, only one has been granted. Sure, it’s a big one: the Yankees lost!
I so wish I had a dog in this hunt!
Alas, as grateful as I am to the Rangers for knocking out the Yankees – with Alex Rodriguez (who abandoned the Rangers for the bright lights and big bucks of the Apple) ending it all on a called third strike, no less – I can’t just throw in with them to win it all. (Even though I think they will.) There’s just something not to like. (True confession: it’s probably all political.)
In need of a process to determine which team to root for, I came up with a comparison chart. So here goes:
Texas | San Francisco Giants | |
The City | Middle of nowhere; no downtown; too hot; grassy knoll. Admittedly, good barbecue. | Spectacularly beautiful; urban-urbane; those little cable cars… ADVANTAGE Giants. |
The State | Terrain not generally to my liking; too much influence on textbooks. (On the other hand, “it is the only place on earth bluebonnets grow.”) | Spectacularly beautiful; etc. ADVANTAGE Giants. |
Song about the City | Big D (Little A – Double L – A-S). You’ve probably never even heard of it. So I rest my case. | I Left My Heart in San Francisco and or San Francisco (Open your golden gate) ADVANTAGE Giants. |
Song about the State | Eyes of Texas, Deep in the Heart of Texas, Yellow Rose of Texas. ADVANTAGE Texas. | California Here I Come, Hotel California |
TV Show | Dallas.Admittedly, watching this got me through grad school, but who really cares who shot JR? | Streets of San Francisco.Karl Malden and Michael Douglas when he was still cute? What’s not to like, buddy boy? ADVANTAGE Giants. |
The Manager | Ron Washington – seems more excitable than your average MLB manger; house in New Orleans destroyed by Katrina. ADVANTAGE Texas. | Bruce Bochy – not bad looking, and bonus points for having been born in France |
Team Name | Texas Rangers: a bit law and order for my taste, but makes sense. ADVANTAGE Texas. | San Francisco Giants. No meaning whatsoever. Carpet bagger name kept when team moved from NY to SF in the late 1950’s. |
Team History | Hapless Washington Senators, absconded to Texas in 1971. Once managed by Ted Williams. | Christy Mathewson, Iron Man McGinnity, Merkle’s Boner, Mel Ott, Bobby Thomson’s home run, Willie Mays (Say hey!) ADVANTAGE Giants. |
Color Scheme | Red, white and blue. Yeah, you and just about every other team in major league sports… | Black & orange. Could conceivably win it all on Halloween. ADVANTAGE Giants. |
Stadium | Rangers Ballpark – actually looks pretty nice | AT&T Park. Bogus name, but out of the park homers end up in the Pacific Ocean, where they’re chased down by fans in kayaks. ADVANTAGE Giants. |
Player with a great baseball name | Elvis Andrus – gotta love this one, even though Andrus was probably named after his mother Elvia, rather than after the King. | Buster Posey – has to be one of the all time best; almost as good as Champ Summers. ADVANTAGE Giants. |
Yuck factor | Formerly co-owned by George W Bush. NO ADVANTAGE. | The steroidal Barry Bonds. NO ADVANTAGE. |
‘We deserve it’ factor | “We’ve never won a World Series in our whole, entire lives.” Oh, boo hoo. You’ve only been around since 1961, and in Texas since 1971. BFD. Try being a Chicago Cubs fan. (Haven’t won the World Series since 1908.) | “We haven’t won a World Series since 1954.” Oh, boo hoo. You’ve only been in San Francisco since 1957. BFD. Try being a Chicago Cubs fan. (Haven’t won the World Series since 1908.) Still, you’ve waited longer. ADVANTAGE Giants. |
Hair | Elvis Andrus – cool ‘fro, bro. ADVANTAGE Texas. | Tim Lincecum – is it Breck-girl shiny or just plain greasy? (Brian Wilson’s dyed beard is a hoot, however.) |
League | American. I try to be loyal…. ADVANTAGE Texas | National |
Payroll | $55M. While the ‘you get what you pay for advantage goes to SF’, the moral highground’s held by the Rangers ADVANTAGE Texas | $98M |
Friends & family there | Yes to both. ADVANTAGE Texas. | No one |
Final score: San Francisco Giants 9, Texas Rangers 7.
Say, hey. It looks like I’m rooting for the Giants.
Go team!
1 comment:
Classic Maureen. I'll go Rangers thanks to your diligent and completely impartial analysis. hahahahaha. Thanks again for many mornings.
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