On Saturday, the NY Times had a "humorous" little article on what laid off Wall Streeters could (or couldn't) do now that their jobs are pulling a disappearing act.
There was one serious suggestion: analysts could try to find jobs in the industries they covered, which might work if all those industries weren't downsizing. I mean, nice that you know everything there is to know about banking or the Big 3 automakers, but don't call us, we'll call you. Plus, someone might want to look at what you'd written over the years, and this could be a double edged sword. You either got it wrong, so how are you going to help us now? Or you got it right, and nobody likes an I-told-you-so smart ass.
Other suggestions for places to look for jobs, while equally unavailable, were less serious. E.g., Wall Streeters would certainly have the experience needed to sell expensive cigars, but who's buying?
The owner of a party service, Send in the Clowns, claims that he's getting interest from ex-Streeters looking for work.
“We get a lot of calls from Wall Street guys who are looking to work with us,” he said. “They want to change their careers... A Wall Street guy could come over and do magic shows for the kids, play musical games with the kids, do face painting with the kids.” There are positions for disc jockeys, stilt-walkers and mechanical bull servicemen. And, of course, the marquee job.
“We’ll hire clowns from Wall Street,” he said. “No problem.”
Frankly, I can't imagine a lot of people wanting some jaded ex-trader entertaining their kiddies. They'd probably just blow cigar smoke in the little tykes' faces.
I'm sure one Wall Streeter who won't be looking to join a clown act is the eTrade baby. With me, he finds clowns really creepy.
(If this video embed doesn't work, you know what I'm talking about.)
Although I don't imagine they'll be hiring a lot of Lehman alums,I did trot over to SendIn's web site to check out their wares.
A lot of what they have are those inflatable rides that have become a staple of church fairs, harvest festivals, and ritzy birthday parties - of which, one can imagine, there will be fewer and fewer, now that the Wall Street parents won't be able to foot the bill for them.
One of the inflatable rides caught my attention: The Titanic Slide
I found a really nifty shot of it on PartyUSA.
Better than this pic, even is the write-up on it:
"This awesome slide captures the feeling of the real giant. Adding to the realism of this ride are the famed triple screw propellers and rudder. One could almost believe the ship is sinking! Who will survive the slide down? This dual slide captures all the excitement of the famed ocean liner on its maiden voyage."
Ah, yes, I'm quite sure an inflatable ride can truly "capture the feeling of the real giant" - that sheer middle of the night, freezing cold, death is nigh, women-and-children first, Nearer My God To Thee, chaos and panic.
As for the rest of the blurb, just when I've convinced myself that we're at the beginning of the end of the economic crisis, there goes George Soros trying to convince us that the ship is sinking.
And "who will survive the slide down?"
That's a very good question.
I remain guardedly hopeful that we the people will pretty much all survive - if we redefine survive so that it doesn't continue to include mindless, endless consumption. And if we don't turn on each other, knock people out of the way to reach a life boat, hip chuck folks overboard, whack people with a paddle when they try to hoist themselves out of the icy waters and onto our raft, and generally behave rottenly.
Sure, some of us may have been prudent, smart, and lucky enough to have our own life boats. We have donned our own personal - bought and paid for with cash - Mae Wests, and are prepared with a thermos full of hot tea and some set-aside hardtack to survive until we drift to shore.
But are we really prepared to watch a lot of other folks drown or die of hypothermia while we sort out who's deserving and who's not?
FDR saved capitalism from socialism and fascism.
It's that time again.
Good luck, Mr. President.
No comments:
Post a Comment