Disingenuous, that's what you are...

I don't know how I stumbled on these guys - it may have been when I was noodling around with a possible post on the rise of shoplifting - but there's a business out there devoted to creating fake receipts.

They have all these completely disingenuous warnings like "for novelty use only" and a  list of things that you shouldn't use fake receipts for (tsk, tsk). But, come on, how many legitimate uses are there for fake receipts?

I can really only think of one, and that's if you lose a receipt you need for business reimbursement, and your company is a complete stickler on this matter.

Even then, most business expenses will be credit carded, so you'll have the info on your statement. Plus, any hotel, restaurant, car rental, or whatever can easily send you a duplicate receipt, if you need one. As for those little buck-here-buck-there receipts - doorman tips - that's what those tiny little pads in hotel rooms are for. (Tip for maid. $4. Jan. 28.)

I will say that I haven't been above hoarding cab receipts from Boston Cab, so that I'd have some on hand if I was too harried to ask for one.

Other than that...

But FakeExpense has all sorts of legitimate uses for fake receipts, starting with the receipt was innocently lost, or has faded to the point of illegibility.

Then there was the fellow who'd used his corporate card in a lap-dancing bar, and needed to clean up his expenses or risk losing his job.

Hmmmm.

How about, if-it's-okay-in-your-sleazy-corporate-culture-to-take-a-client-to-a-lap-dance-bar-then-it-should-be-okay-to-expense-it. And if it's not, then this should be something your don't do. Or something you pay cash out of your own pocket for. Or, if you really feel justified in the expense, something you make up for a couple of dollars at a time. (C.f., "tips for maids.")

I'm just as happy that springing for lap dancing has never come up in my expense account experience.

Another legit purpose that FakeExpense cites?

The man who supposedly created fake lap-dancing receipts 
"so his wife would divorce him."

Oh, yes, I'm sure that happens all the time. ("I can't get my darned wife to divorce me. Maybe if I left these receipts from Happy Dayz Pole Dancing around, she'll decide to dump me.")

Other ideas?

Convince someone that your Rolex watch is the real deal, or that the rock you've just slipped on her finger came from Tiffany's.

It's all in good fun!

You shouldn't, of course, use fake receipts for insurance fraud, or to use to sell bogus goods on eBay, or cheat on your expense account. Tsk, tsk, tsk-y, tsk, tsk.

These uses would be WRONG!

And just to make sure you get this this is wrong, there's that disclaimer:

Our Products - FOR NOVELTY USE ONLY

Which certainly jives with their list of products, wouldn't you say?

store receipt template
store receipt maker
sales receipt maker
sales receipt 80mm maker
cash register receipt generator
custom receipts
fake cash register receipts
fake cash register receipt
fake receipt generator
fake register receipt
false receipt printer
forged register receipt
forged store bill
forged store receipt
phoney receipt printer
phoney store receipt
POS receipt creator
print fake register receipts
retailer receipts
counterfeit store receipt

FalseExpense.com The website that allows you to build custom receipts from whatever retailer for any amount, for any type of service or goods.

These will be printed on real thermal till-roll and posted to your address – for only $14.99.

They have all sorts of templates if you want to create your own receipts, replete with legit-looking logos (Apple, Tiffany, Toyota - for a fake car repair claim.)

Ah, yes, for novelty use only.

What's your estimate on the ratio of illegitimate to legitimate uses of these products? 10 to 1? 100 to 1? 1000 to 1?

We welcome all emails with a few exceptions:
Any email that contains wording on using our product in any form that is not legal. IT WILL NOT BE ANSWERED.

Using a counterfeit store receipt in any form that is not legal? TSK. TSK. TSK. TSK. TSK.

They also partner with sites that provide bogus doctors notes. The one I clicked on had one of those pop-up dialog boxes, and "Nurse Kym" - who looked like a porn star, but who is actually a chatbot - offered me  $5 off a 30-pack of "Kickass doctors notes."

Our excuses don't look fake because they have authentic looking logos and watermarks. This is extremely important in any legal document.

A 30-pack of doctors notes? How often do you call in sick? How often do you call in sick where you need a note from your doctor?

A 30-pack would have lasted me far more than a lifetime. (I'm an incredibly healthy person - knock on wood - and, when I was working full time, I probably averaged half a sick day a year.)

Scuz-buckets helping scumbags. What a way to make a living.