What would Joe Friday do?

I haven't watched it in years, but the "reality" show COPS, which follows real-life police officers while they make their rounds, has one major thing to recommend it. "Bad Boys" is its theme song. (Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Bad boys, bad boys.)

I hadn't thought of that show or song in years, but it sure came to mind when I read about Antioch (California) ex-cop Morteza Amiri who's no longer wondering what he's going to do when they come for him. They've come, and he's now facing serious prison time.

In reading about Amiri, I also found myself asking what Joe Friday would do. Joe Friday was the fictional LA cop, played by Jack Webb, on the TV show Dragnet which ran in the 1950's, and then again in the lates 1960's. Joe Friday was a deadpan, stick-up-the-ass, rightwing, by-the-books police officer who liked nothing more (in the 1960's version of the show) than busting some long-haired, peace and love, pot smoking hippies.

But I do know that Joe Friday never would have done what Morteza Amiri did, and would have gladly busted this bad boy.

Amiri was recently convicted, by a federal jury, of trying to scam his way into a hefty pay raise by fraudulently getting his college degree. 

During the trial, evidence showed that Amiri hired someone to complete entire courses on his behalf at an online university so he could qualify for higher pay.

Here are some of the text messages Amiri sent to his would-be stand-in, according to the press release:“Can i hire you [ ] to do my … classes? ill pay you per class”

“Don’t tell a soul about me hiring you for this. we can’t afford it getting leaked and me losing my job”

“If I submit my request for the degree on time by the end of the month I can coordinate my raise in a timely manner”

“I’m gonna rush order my degree to get my pay raise jump-started” (Source: Daily Muck)

Maybe I'm just spitballin' here, by I'm guessing that the curriculum for a degree in criminology is not the most rigorous one in the history of higher ed. I mean, it's not exactly like getting a degree in neurobiology or physics. I don't know what school Amiri was trying to scam a degree from, nor do I know his course of study - just guessing it was something crime-y -  but I looked on the website of a small local college that's well known for awarding degrees to cops and firefighters, who pursue these degrees - like Morteza Amiri was doing/not doing - to earn more money. Here are a couple of the required courses for Anna Maria's degree in Criminal Justice: 

Policing in America: a survey of the history, development, environment, organization, and sociology of law enforcement in America.

Corrections: an examination of the evolution of prisoner management from Pennsylvania's Walnut Street Jail to the present day correctional system. 

Now, I'm all for police officers pursuing further education. May they all take a bunch of psychology courses, for one thing. And far be it from me - with my undergraduate degree in sociology, and my master's in business - to shame anyone for taking gut courses. But Morteza - I keep wanting to type Morticia - Amiri couldn't even see his way clear to take a bunch of gut courses so he could earn more money?

Amiri wasn't alone. Five other police officers have been "convicted in the conspiracy to commit wire fraud related to cops cheating on university degrees to qualify for higher pay" at the Antioch and Pittsburg (also in California) PDs.  They could end up serving more than 20 years. 

He'll have plenty of time to study while he's behind bars, that's for sure. 

But wait, there's more. 

Amiri had already been suspended for instructing his police dog - his "K9 partner" - to take a bite out of 28 suspects, and he's been indicted for these acts, as well. 

Amiri took photos of the encounters to “keep them as a souvenir,” according to the indictment for that case. That trial date is set for Feb. 18, 2025.

Quite a guy! (Whatever happened to protect and serve?)

Joe Friday wouldn't have done this in a million years. But I would have loved to have heard what Joe Friday had to say about this case. "It was Thursday, October 8th, a warm day in Los Angeles. My partner and I were working the day watch out of Central. We got a line on a rogue cop who was faking his way into a college degree..."

Joe would have called Amiri "College Boy," and would have been delighted to snap the cuffs on him.

On second thought, I'd rather have watched Joe Friday bust Amiri for siccing his police pooch on suspects. And if Morteza Amiri ends up with a good, stiff sentence, I'd just as soon see it be for torturing suspects. 

When Dragnet was on the air (and beyond) the LAPD had quite the reputation for having violent and corrupt cops, but Joe Friday never would have had a dog-bites-man thing going. Never. 

Too bad (not) for Morteza Amiri, but it looks like his bad behavior is now jumping up and biting him in the ass.

Bad boy, bad boy.