Monday, December 18, 2023

'Tis the season to be on the lookout for bad toys

Each year, World Against Toys Causing Harm (W.A.T.C.H.) releases its list of the the most hazardous toys on the market. 

Anyone who grew up in the 1950's and 1960's is well aware that toys can be hazardous. And that most of us who played with hazardous toys do, in fact, survive into adulthood - make that incipient old age. 

I can't think of anyone in my childhood who was seriously injured by a toy. Or by the hazardous stuff we did without the help of dangerous toys. Case in point: when my sister Trish was born, my parents had already given away all their baby stuff. Some well-meaning friends gave them a beat up baby carriage that was nearly as large as a VW Beetle. Even for my frugal parents, that behemoth grey buggy was too dilapidated to put their beautiful new baby in to take for a stroll around the block. So they gave the baby buggy to the older kids. 

Yippee!

At first, our thought was to strip it down to make a gig - basically a board with wheels - but we decided it might be

more fun to see how many kids we could stuff into it. And how fast we could then race down the little hill at the top of our street. I think we could get four kids in at once, and while we didn't have a speedometer, we could go pretty darned fast. 

Alas, at the top of the street lived the neighbor known as "The Eyes and the Ears of the World." She was a mother of five kids, similar ages to my family, and you could get away with nothing if she was on watch, staring out her window. Before you got home, my mother would know that, say, you had been riding doubles on your bike with another kid. ("A little bird told me," my mother would say. But we were well aware it was AC, "The Eyes and the Ears of the World.")

While our buggy riding days were short-lived, we all survived those rides - and all the other quasi-dangerous things we played with.

The only serious play-related injury that I recall happened when a kid my age (we were 13) blew a finger off goofing around with some fireworks on July 4th. (We chalked it up to him being a public schooler, as any Catholic kid who was a "pub" was suspect, and came from a suspect family. Alcoholics or something.) 

Still, although we all survived, who in their right mind would want their child to have a dangerous toy?

So it's always good to see what's on the W.A.T.C.H. list for 2023

  • Disney The Little Mermaid King Triton’s All-Powerful Trident: Potential For Blunt Force and Eye Injuries!
  • Original Squishmallows-Raisy: Potential For Suffocation!
  • Soccer Boppers: Potential For Blunt Force and Impact Injuries!
  • Diecast Fast-Food Truck: Potential For Choking Injuries!
  • Our Generation Hop In Dog Carrier: Potential For Choking Injuries!
  • Orbeez Seeds- Rainbow: Potential For Choking and Ingestion Injuries!
  • Splat-R-Ball Dude Perfect Blaster: Potential For Eye Injuries!
  • B Toys Make A Melody Musical Instrument Set: Potential Ingestion and Choking Injuries!
  • Zoom- O Turbo Disc Launcher: Potential For Face and Eye Injuries!
  • Carve Pro Stunt Scooter: Potential For Head and Other Impact Injuries!

I'm not not familiar with any of these items, and some of them sound pretty innocuous. How dangerous can a little toy dog carrier be? And anything called Squishmallow?

Others, however...

Given that a kid can and will turn anything into a weapon, why encourage them by gifting them with a triton? And the Splat-R-Ball Dude Perfect Blaster? I don't want to even know what this is, but any toy with a name containing the words "splat," "dude," and "blaster" seems like a must-avoid. Ditto for the "turbo," "disc," "launcher," and the "pro," "stunt," "scooter." (Just as a kid can weaponize anything, they can also launch anything, not to mention use anything they can get their hands on as a prop for a stunt.)

Seriously, though, there are some really awful toys out there, and W.A.T.C.H. really does help weed them out.

A couple of years ago, they identified Calico Critters as a choking hazard and, indeed, two little ones had choked to death on the pacifier accessory.

This year, the toy was at long last recalled. 

Many of the most dangerous toys are choking hazards for babies and toddlers - kids who put anything and everything in their mouths.

Toys may look adorable. They may look like fun. 

But you really have to think twice before giving a kid something that's adorable and/or looks like fun. Adorableness and fun aren't worth any child's life.

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