Get in line. No, not this line. THAT one.)

I have Global Entry/TSA PreCheck. I don’t fly that often, but having this is absolutely worth it. I don’t understand why anyone who flies more than once a year wouldn’t spring for it. It doesn’t cost all that much, so it doesn’t make me feel like some rich-bitch who gets to cruise by the hoi-polloi. If you can afford to fly, you can pretty much afford some sort of TSA preclearance program (which works out to $17-20 a year).

I generally pay the fee to upgrade to a bit more legroom, too. Again, I don’t fly that often and it’s worth it not to have my knees in my chin.

But ways to jump the queue aren’t limited to fast-lane-ing your way through airport security.

This past Christmas, even the line to sit on Santa’s lap at a local mall was split in two. Squalling kiddy pre-check.

At AMC, which has a near movie-theater-in-Boston monopoly, you can avoid the lines for the ticket kiosks and refreshments if you’re a Premiere Member. According to the article I saw, this costs $24 per month. I don’t know what this entitles you to – presumably something more than the ability to jump the queue; it must include seeing movies for free or at a sharply discounted rate – but, given that I don’t pay much more than $24 a year to see movies in a theater, becoming a Premiere AMC-er would be lost on me.

But before Massachusetts fully automated tolls on the turnpike, bridges and tunnels – and when I still owned a car – I did have Fast Lane. For the cost of a transponder, I could avoid the snarls at the Route 128 interchange and breeze right through. The Fast Lane pass was plenty affordable. It was mostly the inconvenience involved in procuring one that was the true cost.

Some folks are decrying preferential line treatment as one more example of the bifurcation of the economy between the haves and the have-less. Rich getting richer, and rubbing the faces of the poor in it..

But, perhaps because I am at heart something of a rich-like bitch-like, I don’t see it that way. If you’re flying, if you’re going to the movies, you’re not abjectly poor to begin with. If someone’s willing to pay a bit more to avoid waiting in line, why not. Admittedly, driving on the Mass Pike is a bit different. People with lesser means have to commute like most everyone else. Still, even there the cost of the Fast Lane pass wasn’t all that great.

Overall, when you pay to get to the head of the line faster, philosophically speaking, it’s not all that much different than the differential flight classes that have probably existed since shortly after Lucky Lindy made that nonstop Transatlantic flight.

I can resent those flying first class as much as I want, but if you can afford to, why not? Thanks for having been married to a frequent flyer savant, I’ve flown business and first a number of times. And guess what? It’s better. The seats are more comfortable. The food is edible. And fewer folks are sharing the toilets. What’s not to like?

When I’m in steerage, I don’t start cursing billionaires. But I do pay the extra $30 or $40 bucks to ensure a tad bit more comfort. And from the looks of most of those traveling, they could afford to pay for this sort of modest upgrade as well. Their choice not to.

There are, of course, differences. There are a finite number of first class seats, and a finite number of leg-roomier seats in steerage. So everyone can’t actually have at them. But there doesn’t seem to be a cap on Premiere membership or Fast Lane. And if everyone has potential access to the faster line, couldn’t we eventually get to the point where if most everyone buys into preferred status, it may actually be faster to not have it.

Anyway, some aspects of the “what, me wait?” culture are a bit more troubling.

Somewhere along the line, I read that some gig economy workers are selling their willingness to stand in line on behalf of someone else willing to pay. Kind of like buying your way out of serving in the Civil War by hiring some just-of-the-boat Irishman to fill in for you. Only in reverse. And not quite as bad. Still, while all praise the hustle of those gig workers, it’s hard not to view those paying them to stand in line for them as somewhat a-holey.

What’s next? Paying someone to stand in line for you at a heavily attended wake?

Last spring, I went to the wake for a friend’s husband, a man with a large extended family, and well-established in his community. When I got to the funeral parlor about 15 minutes before the wake was set to start, there was already a line well out the door. The wait was about 45 minutes. If only I’d hired a Task Rabbit to stand in line for me…

Seriously, folks, where does it end? Not at Fenway Park, apparently.

This spring for example, Red Sox fans who are members of TSA’s Precheck program (which costs $85 for a five-year membership) will be allowed to enter Fenway Park through a dedicated and faster gate: Gate E.

They’ll show their “known traveler number” on a mobile device or printout, along with the game ticket, and zip right in. (Source: Boston Globe)

Well, come April when I’m there for my first game of the season, I’ll be (pre)checking this one out. Since the lines at Fenway are for the security check – empty your pockets, have some college kid poke around in your pocketbook, pass through the screening device, get wanded – this actually makes sense. Sort of.

After all, if Homeland Security has deemed me safe enough to fly on a plane, surely I’m no sort of danger when it comes to watching a ballgame.

So, fine.

We’ll see how this season goes.

But I can’t believe for a New York (Yankees) minute that the Red Sox won’t figure out some way to monetize this, and that if you’re willing to pay a few more bucks on the face value of a ticket – and what’s a few bucks more, when the face value is so damned high to begin with – there’ll be a special speed line to get you into the park.

Now if only Red Sox management could figure out a better way to get people out of the park once the game ends.