Thursday, December 21, 2017

I think I’ll rebrand myself as a bitcoin company

Admittedly,there are more Google hits for pure unadulterated “bitcoin” – 280,000,000 – than there are for “bitcoin tulip” (532,000) or “bitcoin mania” (977,000) or “bitcoin scam” (6,950,000) or “bitcoin insanity” (478,000) or even “bitcoin bubble” (26,100,1000). And yet…

When it comes to bitcoin, I certainly harbor great suspicion that “bitcoin” and “mania” are inextricably linked.

After all, I lived through the bubble when there were actually real goods and services with the potential to be more or less  exchanged

Bitcoin, on the other hand, sounds like something that could easily have the plug pulled on them if a critical mass of government entities decided to get together and create their own crypto currency. After all, there’s no government in its right mind (or even in its wrong mind) that wants non-governmental entities to control currency, let alone profiteer from it.

So, I vote “tulip”, “mania,” “scam”, “insanity”,and “bubble”as the long run operative words when it comes to bitcoin.

But as I always ask myself, ‘what do I know?’

Anyway, I read with interest yesterday’s Bloomberg article on the number of outfits jumping in to the bitcoin game.

Virtually every day an obscure microcap firm announces a corporate reinvention -- sometimes in name only -- that orients them toward the cryptocurrency or blockchain business. And why not -- the moves have paid huge, often immediate dividends.

Just one of Wednesday’s examples: Furniture maker Nova LifeStyle Inc. quintupled after saying it’s starting a unit called “I Design Blockchain Technology Inc.” The list includes juicemakers, gold miners and a designer of sports bras.

Announcing that you’re in the cryptocurrency or blockchain business? Is that all it takes?

Yesterday’s juicemaker or bra designer just has to pledge some allegiance to blockchain and, all of a sudden, they’re rich as Croesus?

That bra company? They were innovators. And bra innovation is, after all, well known to be just a cup-size away form crypto currency, is it not?

One fintech company – financial technology to you naifs – is now into cryptocurrency. They pooh-pooh any doubters. After all, no one groks – to use a pre-bitcoin coinage – to what they do. And yet another, Future FinTech group is another true believer:

Formerly SkyPeople Fruit Juice, it still produces packaged food products. Though there’s not much evidence that the company has anything to do with cryptocurrencies or blockchain technology, shares rose more than 215 percent on Tuesday after CNBC anchor Dominic Chu called attention to its business.

Many think of all the excitement about crypto currency is akin to blowing smoke up the market’s ass, so it’s not surprising that an e-cigarette company has announced that it’s entering the crypto currency mining market. And a cigar company has rebranded itself to enter the market as well. After all, the world’s no longer looking for a good 5 cent cigar, but some of it’s hoping for a not-so-good $1 million price tag on a bitcoin.

There’s more, of course.

A medical marijuana company “recently bought a patent for a bitcoin ATM.” Whatever they’re smoking, best to not bogart that joint, my friend.

Biotech, gold mining, electronics, tea… You name it, companies of all stripes are jumping into the bitcoin realm.

Willy Sutton once said that he robbed banks because “that’s where the money is.” Ditto for these bra, juice and tea companies, I guess.

Maybe now’s the time for Pink Slip to rebrand and monetize. Pink Bitcoin? Crypto Pink? Crypto Slip? Pink Blockchain Slip?

If a bra company can do it, why can’t I.

Just wondering, though, whether in the 1600’s, companies jumped in on the tulip mania craze and rebranded themselves to cash in. Tulip teapots? Tulip breeches? Tulip tobacco? Tulip wigs?

Inquiry minds would like to know…

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