The Neiman Marcus Christmas Book has always been pretty appalling, what with all those unaffordable, unattainable, totally fanciful items But especially now, when the rich are getting (a lot) richer and the poor are getting (a lot). And when Elon Musk manages to negotiate a trillion dollar pay package for himself while the rest of us press our noses up against the N-M Christmas Book, just like the Little Match Girl freezing to death while peering in the window at a rich family's making merry and bright.
The catalog offered outrageous items like his and hers camels in 1967, robots in 1986, hot air balloons in 1963 and even 2,000-year-old Egyptian mummy cases (purchased by a California museum). Some gifts were outrageous and never sold, including a 1970 replica of Noah's Ark, complete with animals ($588,247) and a $20 million personal submarine in 2000. (Source: Forbes)
Signature features include glossy red leather stirrups that mirror Louboutin’s soles, and a seat and fenders re-crafted with Italian leathers from the atelier’s archives and covered with more than 17,000 sapphire-toned strass crystals. Along the cantle is a row of 155 polished spikes borrowed from his popular heels and handbags.
Since I had to away to the dictionary to look up the word cantle - it's something of a saddle's backrest - I'm def not the audience for this item, even if I had $47K to blow on it. But I do wonder how comfy it would be to lean back into 155 polished spikes.
I love the idea of a pet sculpture. But for $64K, I'd be thinking marble, not a life-sized 3D sculpture "made entirely of crayons." At least they use Crayolas since, as everyone is quite aware, if it ain't a Crayola, it just ain't a crayon.
Heading up the price chain, there's a bespoke trunk (from Artemest and Kiton) for $180K. Seems high to me, but it does include a trip to Naples.
For a tiny bit more - $185K - you get a trip to Paris that comes along with "a custom-engraved Mood Flatware Egg, an egg-shaped object that opens to reveal a six-person [Christofle] silver table setting." This item naturally raises the questions of 1) where'm I going to put it; 2) who's going to polish it. On polishing alone, thanks but no thanks.
EXP Journeys specializes "in bespoke luxury expeditions." The one on offer retails for (gulp!) $490K for a 11 day trek for four from Yellowstone, through Jackson Hole, and on to Utah's Amangiri Resort, where the "pilgrimage culminates." Pilgrimage? What pilgrimage? I don't see no stinkin' pilgrimage. Just a bunch of rich folks who can squander over $100K a piece to beekeep and dine out under the stars.
For that kind of money, you'd think they'd throw in an Annie Leibovitz photo shoot. But no. If you want Annie to snap you, it'll cost $500K. "Her iconic portraits of John Lennon, Yoko, Queen Elizabeth II and more are legendary." So why not you be legendary you. The price does include "100 autographed copies of her new book." One hundred? What would you do with 100 copies? I'd run out of opening the door and chucking them into Little Free Libraries pretty darned quick.
Annie's the top of the heap, and for the next item, the fare plummets to $1115K for a voyage for four around the Mediterranean on the Four Seasons I. This is the inaugural voyage - can we not say maiden voyage any more? - on a "floating masterpiece" designed by Prosper Assouline. Whoever he is. (Guess if I were in the market for "luxury books" - which is where he made his bones - I'd know.)
The final item in this year's N-M Christmas Book, fanstasy gift section, is a "75% scale, fully electric reincarnation of the iconic Bugatti Baby," which Ettore Bugatti created as a half-scale verion of his Type 35 race car. I actually can't tell from the description whether it's a 75% scale version of the half-sized Bugatti Baby, or a 75% version of the original race car.
But I did go to the google and found that it's a replica of the race car. It's billed as being "for the inner child in all us," not for the outer child of the type Elon Musk is producing in droves. But inner children should be warned before they take to the open road. The top speed is 40 mph.
Anyway, if you start shopping now, I bet there's plenty of inventory available for any of these luxury gifts. No need to be running out to CVS for a Russell Stover assortment now, is there?
-----------------------------------------Image Source: Neiman Marcus
No comments:
Post a Comment