Who in their right mind?

I don't typically use the word "magical" to describe a place I've visited, but taking the water taxi into Venice and seeing this beautiful city seemingly emerging out of the water, the word that tripped right off of my very tongue was "magical." Venice as you approach it is just drop-dead gorgeous. Is it any wonder that this magical city has been the subject of so many great painters over the years?

And, to me, Venice lived up to its magical promise.

I doubt I'll ever get back there. Unlike other places I've been - like Ireland, Paris, NYC - in these cases, been to many times - return trips aren't on my bucket list. But I'm so very glad I went to this magical kingdom. Magical plus unbelievably delish spaghetti alle vongole, which I had at least once a day the week I spent there AND the to-die-for home of Peggy Guggenheim, now a museum. (Even those of us with no desire to hobnob with celebs had a fantasy or two of arriving at the water entrance of Peggy's palazzo, looking just like Audrey Hepburn, stepping out of a gondola and into the arms of a fellow who looked just like Cary Grant...)

Other than getting lost in this fascinating little city - thank God for my sister, Trish, my less directionally challenged traveling companion; and the non-zero prospect of having an after-dark close encounter with a rat (nothing that as a city girl, I'm not used to) - the only thing that gave me pause in Venice was fear taking a mistep in or out of a boat, or slipping on a damp brick walk, and falling into one of the canals. Ah, those beautiful canals. Those murky, filthy, rat-infested canals. 

Oh, I've read that they're not all that dirty. Or not as dirty as they used to be. That they're cleaned all the time. That the wastewater, the sewerage, etc. is all processed out. But, other than to save my life, there's no way I would be taking a dip in any of the canals in Venice. 

There's the pollution, of course, but there's also the chance that a gondola, motor boat, or vaporetto, would plow into you. So, the waters of Venice are both dangerous and dangerous. And it's illegal.

As one couple from the UK found out recently found out.

The 35-year-old British man and his 25-year-old Romanian girlfriend were forced to return to their home in the UK on Thursday, the same day they arrived in the city, after gondoliers reported them to local police for taking a dip in the canal.

The pair were fined €450 ($529) each and expelled from Venice for 48 hours, marking the 1,136th such sanction to be handed down to badly behaved tourists in the city so far this year, according to the Venice City Police. 

The unnamed couple took the plunge near the Accademia bridge near St. Mark’s Square and gondoliers at the Rio San Vidal kiosk immediately called authorities, who removed them from the water. (Source: CNN)

Well, I suppose that, as far as being a bad tourist goes, it's not as bad as defacing a monument or trashing an antiquity. Most of the harm you're doing by taking a dive is to yourself. 

Of those 1,136 "orders of expulsion" (issued this year as of early September), only 10 were for swimming. Most of the expulsions from this over-touristed (irresistibly magical) city were due to "incidents of degradation and uncivilized behavior." (Would that every city take this up!)

But 10 were swimming-based incidents. (In past years, someone dove off the Rialto Bridge, and was caught because his buddies social-media'd him. A couple of French tourists went moonlight skinny dipping in 2023, and the previous year "a German man was fined and expelled for surfing in the canal." (Surf's up in Venice???)

Seriously, who in their right mind would jump into a canal in Venice? (Maybe that "right mind" thing is the answer to that question.) It's not as if the water is Bahamas tourquoise, or the cold blue crystalline waters of Cahoon Hollow beach in Wellfleet. Venice canal water is sketchy at best.

Many years ago  - okay, many decades ago - my cousin MB was taking a post-college trip to Europe with a friend. They were in Amsterdam, and her friend dropped something - a bracelet, I think (I'm too lazy to text MB and ask her about it) in one of the canals. She went to retrieve it and - unlucky for her - she had a minor scratch on her hand. Which got terribly infected, such that she ended up being treated in a Dutch ER. And that's what I think about when I hear about anyone deciding to go for a swim in a canal in Venice.

You'd have to be crazy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Image Source: iPaintings (It's a Turner, but the pic doesn't do it justice. Talk about a painter who knew how to do color and light.)