FORE!

Well, today's an anniversary that we'd all just as soon forget. Such a terrible, terrible, day...

Sure, we have a lot of terrible, terrible days, and they seem to be coming faster and furious-er as time goes by. And an unsettling feeling settles over many of us that, while no one terrible day in the current string will ever surpass September 11, 2001 in terms of terrible-ness, in the aggregate the non-stop procession of terrible days may add up to something far worse.

So on occasion, we all need a vacation from the relentness awfulness. And today's mini-vacation is brought to you by the golf caddies of New Hampshire's Mountain View Grand Resort and Spa. 

These are not just any old caddies. No, at Mountain View, you can use a llama.

Llama caddies are nothing new. There are a couple of courses in North Carolina that have used them off and on for decades. But, in terms of resorting, the Carolina llama courses are johnny-come-latelies. One that I came across was founded in 1968. Another is an upstart dating from the early 1990's. You'd expect llamas or the like to draw attention to the flashy and nouveau. But Mountain View? It's one of those ancient (1860's, not 1960's) grande dame White Mountain getaways that has hosted all sorts of grandees:

Many former U.S. presidents have enjoyed the beauty and the hospitality of the resort, including Theodore Roosevelt, Grover Cleveland, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Richard Nixon. Writers were often guests at the Mountain View House as well; the guest register has included Robert Frost, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Stephen King. Hollywood celebrities Betty Grable, Bette Davis, and all four Marx Brothers stayed here, as did luminaries such as Norman Rockwell, Babe Ruth, John D. Rockefeller and family, Lady Astor, and even the first man on the moon, Neil Armstrong. (Source: Mountain View Grand)

Maybe the Marx Brothers should have been a dead giveaway that Mountain View may not take itself all that seriously, but seriously, one does not expect a gimmick like llama caddies at an august spot like this one. 

But here we are. 

Lloyd VanHorn, Mountain View's GM felt things needed a bit of shaking up.

“Golf can be mistaken as being somewhat arrogant and unapproachable,” said Van Horn, who used to run a resort near Augusta National before trekking north a few years ago. (Source: Boston Globe)

Aha! I just knew this cockamamie idea was imported from someplace other than New England. That said, I cannot in a million, trillion years imagine a llama on the grounds of the august holy-of-holies that is Georgia's Augusta National, home to the Masters, which can out priss and out tradition anyplace in these parts. (VanHorn is a hospitality pro with quite a resume. Most of his work has been in the south, but he's also worked in NJ, NY, and VT.) 

Why llamas? There are pros and cons. 

Llamas cannot swing a club, so they can’t play with you. They don’t speak — they’ll grunt, bray, or cry — so they offer no course knowledge. But they are pack animals, American descendants of those who hauled gear and people through the Andes, so toting clubs is no sweat.

Not that I ever golfed or caddied, but I had close second hand knowledge of the caddie life, as my brothers both caddied at Tatnuck Country Club in Worcester, and my cousins both caddied at Woodland in Newton.

Caddying was hard and sweaty work, back when my relatives were doing it. (My brothers in the 60's and 70's, by cousins in the 50's and 60's.) Most golfers back in the day didn't use pull carts (kind of like a luggage carrier for a golfbag), let around sit on their arses and ride around in a gas-powered golf cart. No, they had caddies who carried the golfers' bags on their shoulders. A good day was when you got to caddie doubles - carrying two bags at once - and if you had a really good day, you got to go out twice (morning and afternoon) carrying doubles. Oh, sometimes the golfers were cheapskates and didn't tip. But it was a way to make money before you got old enough to work in real job say, loading stuff at a warehouse (one of my brother Rich's summer jobs) or riding on the back of a garbage truck, picking up trash (one of my cousin Bob's summer gigs).

A price that sticks in my mind is $3.50 for carrying doubles. This I recall from my brother Tom, which would place it in the late 1960's. I can't remember if that was per bag or for both.

Whatever it was, it was for 18 holes. And it was sweaty, tiring, and often aggravating work. (Some of the golfers were really pricks to the boys who caddied for them.)

Llama caddies cost just a tad bit more. 

$3.50 in the late 1960's is about $35 today. Mountain View llamas fetch $150 per round. And that may not even be for carrying doubles.

Anyway, thought we could all use a bit of cheer on this terrible day. Sounds like almost as much fun as goat yoga.

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I've written about 9/11 in the past. Here's my post from 2009, which is still, IMHO, worth a read.