The view from China

I'm not much for social media. No Twitter X. (God, no.) No FB. (God, no.) No Truth Social. (What? Are you crazy?) No Insta. No Snapchat. No TikTok.

But I am on BlueSky - the non-Nazified version of Twitter X - so that I can keep up with breaking news, look at pics of cute doggos, and occasionally scroll-stumble onto something like a post that showed a map of the United States with a word or two description for each state. Those coupla words were translated from the Chinese, and I believe are supposed to be what came to mind when people in China were asked for their thoughts on each state.

It was very difficult to read the wording, and I wasn't able to see how each state was characterized. Plus there was very scant info associated with the brief post I saw. And I haven't been able to track own the ur source - where did this come from? who was asked? what was asked? what is it supposed to mean? None of this, of course, stopped me from enjoying the hell out of it.

Naturally, the first thing I did was look to see what our Chinese friends thought about Massachusetts.

We're "a gathering place for the rich." Yes, we are the state with the highest per capita income, but our dear Commonwealth is hardly the first state that comes to mind when I think about where rich people gather. Maybe New York (City or Long Island, anyway). Or Florida (Palm Beach anyone? No one?). California, maybe (LaLa Land). Perhaps Montana where I understand billionaires are flocking to buy up land, thinking that they're going to somehow escape reality, civil war, climate change, etc. 

But Massachusetts? Not a place I associate with super-wealth. Most of our billionaires are members of the supremely unflashy Johnson family, which owns Fidelity. The Johnsons and Herb Chambers, the big-time car dealer.

Maybe the Chinese were thinking of Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard, which are summer playgrounds - gathering places - for the rich. But Musk and Bezos, as far as I know, don't hang here.

Of the other New England states, I could only see Rhode Island (Catholic Church) and Connecticut (new Italy). 

Catholic Church for RI makes sense, as they have the largest proportion of Catholics (42%). NJ is second (41%). Massachusets is third (34%). And Connecticut does have a ton of Italian Americans. But I would have thought there were more Italians in NJ.

Apparently, the Chinese know more than I do. With 16.1% of its population claiming Italian heritage, CT ranks number one, followed by RI (15.5%) and NJ (14.6%). Well, bada-bing to that!

In the minds of the Chinese, NJ is just "canned sardines." Not gabagool?

Some of the states are obvious:

New York, after all, is the Big Apple. Michigan is an automaker. Nebraska is a corn state. Wisconsin is cheese country.

I get that Oprah is associated with Illinois; that there are tech nerds in the state of Washington; that Oklahoma is associated with tornados. There are Mormons aplenty in Utah. And it's undeniable that Colorado is a rectangle.

But why is Kansas a "ghost town?"

Some of the descriptors are insulting. Is North Carolina really a "cancer factory?" Is South Carolina all that racist? And why are Missourians born to be liars? Show Me, huh? Mississippi is "love to eat lard." What does that mean? And how would the Chinese know?

Some of the descriptors are pretty funny. California is described as "fake breasts and oranges." And Nevada? "Has been stars." Wayne Newton - if you're still alive - come on down).

Then there's Texas. Naturally, they get the biggest desciption: "gun in hand, God in heart." Depends on whose God, I guess.

I have no idea whatsoever if this map is an authentic anything, or just something that something sitting in front of their computer with a bit of time on their hands dreamed up. Honest, I did try to track it down, with no luck. I'd love to see a full, readable (and explicable) version. 

Whatever, wherever, I very much got a good laugh out of it. And, these days, we could all use a good laugh.