Oh, dear. You don't know whether to laugh or cry.

When I first read this story, a month or so ago, my first reaction was Dr. Yuck. 

Sure, Scott Burke is a retired physician, but who wants to find out they'd ever had anything to do with a doctor who was involved in a sordid sex, drugs, and rock and roll guns situation on his par-tay boat, which was docked in Nantucket Harbor. (Not that  amything unusual about sex and drugs on Nantucket. But I'm guessing that the sex doesn't usually include making porn films. And guns? Definitely not what I imagine would be the jam of the toffs on Nantucket.)

In early September, Nantucket police got a call from a guy saying that he believed a friend of his (a 33-year-old woman) had OD'd on the good ship JessConn (a yacht out of the

Caymans, by way of Key Largo). The fellow had been FaceTiming with his friend, who told him that she was on a boat where they were shooting porn videos and doing drugs a-plenty. Then the FaceTime session - or maybe it was the young woman - blacked out. 

So, a call to the cops. 

They found the woman "awake but extremely lethargic" and took her to the hospital. They also found a handgun, a bag full of cocaine, and "two clear packages containing 'multiple blue pills." Multiple blue pills? Well, those could have been entirely innocent. Or not.

Overall:

After receiving a search warrant, investigators seized a number of items from the yacht, including more than 43 grams of cocaine and 14 grams of ketamine, $2,300 in cash, two guns and ammunition, and a pair of priority overnight FedEx envelopes, according to court papers. (Source: Boston Globe)

As far as I know, there's nothing illegal about being in possession of FedEx envies. For all we know it contained nothing more than those little blue pills. The innocent ones.

Burke was arrested.

At the police station, he told investigators the woman “was an employee of the boat” who was hired three to four weeks earlier, the affidavit said. He said a second woman had been staying on the vessel and that she had been drinking and taking Adderall.

“Burke also denied any knowledge of any illegal narcotics on the yacht,” police said.

At a hearing, Burke's attorney said that, just prior to his arrest, Burke had entertained more than a dozen guests on his boat, some of them who were guests of crew members. The crew members had taken off to go to the wedding, and the lethargic woman - a friend of a crew member - wasn't heading to the wedding, so asked to stay on board.  

It was a "'disgruntled ex-boyfriend'" who called the police and triggered the search. 

Anyway, the charges against the good doctor are pretty harsh:

Burke is charged with cocaine trafficking, possession to distribute ketamine, illegal gun possession, and possession of a large capacity feeding device, records show. (Source: Boston Globe)

Oh, and woman on board - and a couple others - may have been working girls, and may or may not have been involved in the porn video making.

Overall, the story was so sordid, so yucky, that I got the creeps at the thought of Scott Anthony Burke as someone's doctor, even if he had retired from practice. (Not that I harbor any fantasy that having MD after your name confers goodness or nobility on anyone. I've read plenty about doctors who are also criminals. Just recently, there was news about a local rheumatologist who'd been giving female patients uncalled for pelvic and breast exams for years. And the last time I hero-worshipped a doctor was at age 12, when I was in love with Dr. Kildare.)

Still, the thought of such a louche character being a doctor. Well, yuck.

But Burke - who last I looked was out on bail - has a highly-regarded past at odds with any current debauchery.

In court, [attorney Hank] Brennan said Burke was a successful surgeon for 35 years and described him as a “humanitarian” who has traveled to Haiti and Rwanda to provide medical services to people in need. Brennan said his client has given “an enormous portion” of his wealth away through donations to colleges and scholarship programs.

“There is a lifetime history of a humanitarian nature that shows the character of this man,” Brennan said.

Well, what's a defense attorney going to say? So there's that.

But there's nothing in Burke's past to suggest that he'd end up a drug-running, gun-toting, porn-maker. And it's hard to think of someone traveling to hellholes like Haiti and Rwanda to help out people who are profoundly suffering being a total scumbag. (Am I being naive here? It just seems so at odds.)

Oh, he did move out of direct humanitarian work to go into business, having founded an insurance company that's involved with helping the un- and underinsured pay for healthcare if they've been injured in a car accident. Admittedly, this sounds a bit ambulance chasing, but it's not illegal. (Burke is no longer involved in the company, but both of his children - the Jessica and Connor of JessConn name/fame - do work there. Both of them seem entirely reputable, at least according to LinkedIn.)

But wait, there's more.

[Attorney Hank] Brennan said Burke, a divorced father of two adult children, is suffering from late-stage cancer and likely won’t live long enough to see the case resolved.

Burke takes medication and meets regularly with a Miami doctor, but “it is conceded that he will not survive,” Brennan said. (Source: Yet another Boston Globe story)

Yesterday, I wrote about mega-billionaires who want to live for ever.

Maybe only-a-millionaire Dr. Burke just wants to play out his string by indulging in carnality. 

People react to their impending death in different ways. 

A few days before he died, I overhead my husband on the phone canceling a credit card. He was explaining why he was canceling the card: "I'm going to be dead pretty soon, and I don't want my wife to have to deal with this." (Of course, Jim didn't have access to a yacht...)

Maybe Burke has always been a creep. But maybe he's just mad as hell that he's dying at the age of 69 and is all about the last ditch fantasies. 

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.