Talk about a cheesy lawsuit

Apparently for Amanda Ramirez of Hialeah, Florida, her time is pretty darned valuable.

She bought Velveeta's microwave mac 'n cheese - a premium (after all: Velveeta!) priced, processed crap food product  - on the advertised promise that it would be ready in three-and-a-half minutes.

But that wasn't factoring in that you had to take the lid off, pour some water in, microwave, stir in the cheese dust (or is it cheese soupy goop?) and let it sit a bit. Let's see. Lid off: 5 seconds. Water in: 5 seconds. Stir in cheese dust (or is it cheese soupy goop?): 5 seconds. Wait for it to set and cool a bit - who wants to scald the roof of their mouth on mac n' cheese.

So, that could mean that preparing this almost-as-good-as-scratch luscious meal would take you anywhere from 3 minutes 45 seconds to infinity.

Amanda Ramirez doesn't have time for that.

No, sir. No damned sir.

I don't know what Amanda Ramirez does for a living, but I did find a LinkedIn profile of an Amanda Ramirez who's a poker dealer at Hialeah Park Race Track. So what do you want to bet?

Anyway, professionally speaking, if this is the Amanda Ramirez, she sure has a hunch that that time is money. 

So she's the lead plaintiff in a class action suit against Kraft, seeking $5 million. 

After all, if she "had known the truth", the ugly truth, she might have taken her convenience food spend elsewhere.

“Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product, meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption,” the complaint argues.

The Kraft Heinz Co. said in a statement to The Washington Post that it was aware of the “frivolous lawsuit” and “will strongly defend against the allegations in the complaint.” (Source: WaPo)

I'm all for truth in advertising, for truth in packaging. But, FFS, it's not like it'd take Amanda Ramirez 3 1/2 hours to prepare her meal vs. 3 1/2 minutes. We're talking seconds here.

FFS.

“I’ve gotten a lot of flak about this case, but deceptive advertising is deceptive advertising,” [attorney William] Wright said Monday by email. “Here, Kraft charges extra for a desirable feature (saving time) but the marketing is false, it takes far longer for the product to be ready than as advertised. Deceptive advertising plain and simple.”

"A lot of flak?"  Ya think?

FFS. 

The other attorney involved is one Spencer Sheehan who makes a habit and, presumably, a living, suing food and beverage companies.  E.g.,

He said Keebler and Betty Crocker were wrong to call their cookie and cake mixes fudge because they contained no milk fat. 

Gee, who out there was thinking that Keebler and Betty Crocker fudgy products actually contain real, honest to goodness fudge. Because they taste so much like real, honest to goodness fudge. NOT! Kind of like a cherry Life Saver tastes like cherry. It doesn't! It tastes like a cherry Life Saver.

The lawsuit accuses the Kraft Heinz Co. of fraud, false and misleading advertising, breach of express warranty, negligent misrepresentation and unjust enrichment, along with violations of laws barring deceptive and unfair trade practices. The lawyers say there are probably more than 100 victims spanning multiple states where the product is sold.

Victims? 

VICTIMS?

FFS.

“There are a lot of people that may feel this is just a little fibbing and not really a case and I get that. But we are striving for something better,” Wright said in his email. “We want corporate America to be straightforward and truthful in advertising their products. My firm also represents clients in what most would say are more compelling cases (arsenic in baby food, etc.) but we don’t feel corporations should get a pass for any deceptive advertising. The consumers deserve better.”

Go after arsenic in baby food! Absolutely.

I'm all for consumer protection, but there's gotta be a better way to keep advertisers and product labelers honest than tying up courts with this cheesy Velveeta lawsuit nonsense.

Even if there are a million complainants who feel victimized, where is there $5 worth of harm.

Ludicrous!

FFS.