Go, Old Ladies!

As a bona fide, certified elder (Social Security, Medicare, half-price T-pass), I know full well that us old gals still got it - or, if not it, at least something - going. 

Sure, at least a measurable percentage of each old-to-old convo is devoted to health issues, from the most minor (crepey skin) to the pretty substantial (fractured sacrum). Or worse: someone's dying, someone's died. But, for most of the old ladies I know, life is good. 

We travel, and most of us are coming out of the covid cocoon and are going places.

We lunch, sometimes trying - catch this - new restaurants. Sometimes we even have a glass of wine at lunch

We take long walks and only take rest stops when we want to sit there and contemplate the water. Or the zinnias. Or the trees.

We go shopping. And not just for groceries. We still buy stuff. We still buy stuff whether we need it or not.

We hang with family and friends, and often manage to connect with old old friends. 

We laugh a lot. Sure, some of the time we're laughing about the young folks. But sometimes we're laughing at ourselves. 

We take courses for the hell of it. We book club. We share recommendations on our cable/streaming series binges. (Old Man is confusing, but seeing that old men Jeff Bridges and John Lithgow still have it going makes it worth it.)

We talk about the good things about being old. And that's not just Medicare and the half-price T-pass. Okay, hair-on-the-head thinning isn't a joy fest, but it's nice not to have to shave under our arms.

We dance at weddings without caring what anyone thinks about our technique. 

And we're do-gooders, volunteering our time, talent, and treasure to do what we can to make the world a better place before we part company with it.

Among the old lady do-gooders are a girl gang on the Cape who have dubbed themselves Old Ladies Against Underwater Garbage. OLAUG for short.

OLAUG, who run the age gamut from 65 to 82, are cleaning the ponds on the Cape - there are nearly 1,000 of them - diving and retrieving the trash that has accumulated along the edges and along the bottom. According to their website, they scour about 6 ponds a year. So they won't be making much of a dent in their lifetime. Nevertheless, they persist.

Their top finds are: golf balls, fishing lures, beer cans, nips, fishing line, and sand toys.

But they also find hats, jackets, shoes, and "waterlogged dog toys" which Fido refused to water fetch. They've found cell phones and boxes of used fireworks, car tires and, once, a load of bricks. So far, nothing as dramatic as a body or a car, but that's not surprising, as the ponds on the Cape are smallish, and if a

body, a car, or a body in a car splashed into one of them, surely someone would know.

The teams have someone in a kayak who collects the junk, and a vanguard swimmer who swims ahead on the lookout for snapping turtles. (Ouch!)

In 90 minutes, a team typically removes hundreds of pieces of trash. 

Susan Baur, a retired psychologist, founded the group a few years back. She's 82, and the oldest member. 

To qualify as a member of the group, Baur says, prospective members must prove a few things. First, they’re strong enough to swim for hours, making repeated eight- to nine-foot dives. And second, they’re actually an old lady.

“There was a guy who absolutely wanted to join. I said, ‘No,’” Baur says. “Often they’re men, very often they're not old at all, and they're quite miffed when they say, ‘But I could help. I’m stronger than you guys. I could do this.’ I said, ‘Yeah, there's nothing three women can't do.’” (Source: Boston Globe)

Although I would qualify as an old lady, I can walk for hours, but not swim for hours. And I've never liked to put my head underwater. So I couldn't dive. Plus I don't live on the Cape.

But what a great crew. (I wonder whether they've cleaned any of the ponds I know: the kettle ponds of Wellfleet, the pond my cousin lives on in Dennis. I'll have to ask MB whether she's seen OLAUG in action.)

“I think middle age is often seen as the age of competence. It's when you do things… And then we're supposed to sort of stop,” Baur reflects. “But we are heroically adventurous. And I'm not leaving the age of competence, thank you very much. Not for a while.”

I'm with Susan Baur. I may not be OLAUG material, but I don't intend to leave 'the age of competence' anytime soon, either. 

Brava, OLAUG!