A pox on your monkeypox

I saw that the year's first confirmed case of monkeypox in the U.S. has happened. And it happened in Massachusetts. 

The good news:

The case poses no risk to the public, and the individual is hospitalized and in good condition. (Source: Breaking 911)

And unless you've traveled to Africa recently, or had gay male sex, you're unlikely to acquire it.  

The bad news?

Well, monkeypox. 

And that gay male sex connection doesn't exactly bring much comfort to those of us who have gay male friends and/or who remember AIDS. Not that this monkeypox thing is going to end up that way. And, while there's no cure, it can be treated the same way as they treat smallpox. But didn't Patient Zero on the U.S. AIDS epidemic fly in from Canada? 

As if we don't have enough to worry about. 

Monkeypox.

The name alone. I was going to say 'nuf said,' but there is more to be said. Ain't no one going to want to catch monkeypox. Okay, it doesn't generally kill anyone, but it could become serious, and it lasts 2-4 weeks. Plus the monkeypox poxes themselves are just awful looking: raised, blistering lesions. Yuck.

Monkeypox.

The name is kind of creepy, conjuring up - in my febrile little mind at least - shrieking monkeys, their shrieks capable of

piercing the skull of anyone within shrieking distance. And, come to think of it/them: those shrieking monkeys are flying. And Ride of the Valkyries is on blast in the background.

Monkeypox.

Turns out, monkeys might be getting a bum rap here:

But monkeys might not be the ones to blame for outbreaks, and the natural reservoir of monkeypox remains unknown, though the WHO says rodents are the most likely.

“In Africa, evidence of monkeypox virus infection has been found in many animals including rope squirrels, tree squirrels, Gambian poached rats, dormice, different species of monkeys,” says the UN health agency. (Source: Euronews)

No surprise that rodents are the culprits here. I'd prefer a primate, even a shrieking flying monkey, over pretty much any old rodent, any old day. Especially a rodent I've never even heard of. And that would be the Gambian poached rat. 

Of course, I had to look it up, mostly because I was wondering how and why a poached-anything could be alive. As it googled out, that poached is a typo. It should be Gambian pouched rat. Admittedly, not exactly a nomenclature improvement. Worse, even. Rats in general are pretty awful. The stuff that nightmares are made of. (True confession: I had a rat nightmare over 50 years ago, and it still creeps me out.) So, rats in general are bad enough. But a pouched rat? What do they carry in that pouch? Nothing good, I suspect. Monkeypox virus, no doubt. And the Gambian pouched rat may have plenty of carrying space in that pouch. It's the world's largest (four-legged) rat, and can run as large as nine pounds. Think of how big a five-pound bag of flour is. That's quite a viral load.

Monkeypox.

Haven't we had just about enough?

(Lord, deliver us.)