A continuum of miscreants

Derek Chauvin, the Minneapolis police officer who murdered George Floyd, is lookin at upwards of 30 years in prison when he's sentenced later this week. His attorneys are asking for something a little lighter. They're hoping for probation/time served in consideration of the fact that this is Chauvin's first offense, that he's served the community as a policeman, that he's got health issues and cops have shorter life expectancy to begin with, that he behaved himself in court, and that he fears for his life in prison. 

First offense? Hah to that. It may be his first criminal offense, but it's a doozy. Plus, during his vaunted service years he had a raft of complaints filed against him, a number for using excessive force in restraining people he was arresting. So thanks for you service, Officer Chauvin, but nah. Health issues? Life expectancy? Not the State of Minnesota's problem, mon. As for not acting like a raging lunatic in court, he would have been better off not acting like a raging lunatic when he had his knee on George Floyd's neck.

Then there's Derek Chauvin's fearing for his life in prison, and there I have some sympathy for the man. Certainly, there's a big element of 'so what' here, but when Chauvin enters the slammer to serve out his time, he'll probably have to be put in solitary to protect him from the general population, some of who will no doubt be gunning for him as a cop and/or as a white cop who murdered a black guy. Solitary confinement (and total deprivation sentences served in supermax prisons) strike me as 'cruel and unusual,' as torture. And while Derek Chauvin is a bad guy, no one deserves to be tortured, or fear for their life every waking and sleeping moment while imprisoned. 

Probation/time served would be a farce, but maybe he should be shipped out of state, where the temperature might not be so high. Or placed in a lower-level facility where the prison population is less violent. This should probably be done for any offender who's at risk in the general population and who's unlikely to offend again. I'm no criminal psychologist, but at least we know that Derek Chauvin will never again be in a position to abuse his authority and kill a person guilty only of using drugs and maybe/maybe not passing a phony twenty-dollar bill.

Maybe I've got this all wrong. Maybe Chauvin's such a tough guy he'll thrive in the joint. Become a leader of the Aryan Brotherhood - he's probably already their hero. 

But if the only way the prison system can protect someone in the prison system is by torturing them with continuous solitary - or letting them take their chances in one big game of Fear Factor - then the system needs to find a new way of handling people like Chauvin.

Bad guy? Certainly? But I for one don't want to read that he's been shivved on day two in the big house. 

You've probably never heard of Jennifer Woodley. But you're likely familiar with the Make-a-Wish Foundation. They're a non-profit that grants wishes to kids who are critically ill. A kid wants to go somewhere, meet someone, do something, and the organization tries to make it happen. There are chapters throughout the country, and Jennifer Woodley was the CEO of Make-a-Wish Iowa. That was until she was found to have embezzled over $40K from the organization.

Embezzlers never fail to amaze me. Yes, I know that most of them are probably decent enough folks, who may not actually have all that much larceny in their hearts. But then there's the day when they're a little short of dough, or are feeling a little bad for themselves, and it's easy enough to convince yourself that it's just this one time, and you're only borrowing it, or whatever you do to justify the theft. 

Here, for some, starts the slippery slope. That first time was so easy, it's turns out not to be a one-off. Wheeeee....

Stealing from a business is bad enough. Stealing from a charity that puts a smile on the face of a sick kid? That's really pretty bad.

Jennifer Woodley isn't going to jail. Her crimes were felonies, but she's got a plea deal in place under which the prosecutors are recommending five-years probation, fines, and restitution. Which seems appropriate. Woodley isn't a danger to society, her reputation and career are destroyed, and ain't no one going to let her get anywhere near the cashbox ever again. She'll be sentenced next month. And her attorney, like Chauvin's, is pushing for some special consideration.

Woodley’s attorney, Nicholas Sarcone, said that he would ask for a deferred judgment at sentencing. If granted, that means the case would be expunged from her record, as long as Woodley completes her probation and the other parts of her sentence.

My first thought is, why?

She's not a dumb teenager or stupid kid in her twenties. She's a grown-arse professional woman. 

Then I read that she has a child who was the recipient of a Make-a-Wish wish, which was why she was drawn to this charity in the first place. I cannot begin to imagine the stress she was under, having a seriously ill child. Maybe Woodley just flipped under the stress and started doing crazy things. Like embezzling.

I don't know what expunging a record actually means. Back in the old days, it likely meant that no employer could find your criminal history. Those were the days. Woodley is going to have to live with the consequences of her actions for as long as there's Google, and one big consequence is that prospective employers, new friends and neighbors, and her kids when they grow up will learn about her crime. (Her Make-a-Wish child has fortunately survived.) But if it makes her feel better to have her record expunged, why not?

Then there's the local knucklehead, Cole Buckley. He's in deep trouble for tossing a plastic water bottle at the departing back of Nets star Kyrie Irving. If there were an organization that certified a-holes, I'm sure that one of the first people they'd certify would be Kyrie Irving. He played for the Celtics for a while, leaving ungracefully after everyone in town thought that he'd let the team down. Plus he's an agent provocateur, making stupid statements, e.g., that the earth is flat. And, more recently, making claims that hit a local sore point: that Boston fans are racists, etc. 

I'm sure some fans are. Why would Boston be any different than every place else in the United States? We may be something of a progressive nirvana - we vote blue! we get vaccinated! - but there are racists among us. And some of them attend basketball games.

Irving's comments were no doubt mostly to rile up the Boston fans, hoping he could provoke at least one dope into using the n-word. He got plenty booed, but didn't get what he wanted in terms of fan goading. 

His new team, the Nets, is a far more talented outfit than the current edition of the Boston Celtics, and were more or less destined to beat them in their playoff series. Which they did. Handily. 

But in his last game at the Boston Garden, after a decisive Nets victory (during which Irving was roundly and deservedly booed), Irving decided to go to midcourt and pretend that he was wiping shit off of his shoe on the face of Lucky, the Celtics mascot, whose image is painted on the Garden floor. Prime, juvenile, a-hole move, Kyrie.

And gauntlet thrown!

One jerk fan - a 21-year old frat boy named Cole Buckley - took it up, hurling the bottle (empty? full? no mention) at Irving as he walked off the floor. And missed. No harm, no foul?

Now, it goes without saying that no spectator should throw anything at an athlete, however big and provocative an a-hole they are. Lustily booing only. Especially in a sport where the fans are close to the athletes, and where the athletes do not wear any protective gear. A sport like basketball.

I would be all in favor of Buckley's being banned forever from events at the Garden. And maybe a slap on the wrist misdemeanor charge for unruly behavior. Hours of community service time. But the powers that be have charged Buckley with felony assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Which could land him in prison for 12 years. Which is pretty much what Derek Chauvin was initially faced with for the murder of George Floyd. (The judge decided that the crime was too heinous to be deserving of such a lenient sentence, thus Chauvin is facing 30+ years.) There's just no way that what Cole Buckley did was anywhere near what Derek Chauvin did. (I recall a friend saying that a generation tuned out the Catholic Church when we were told that French kissing, like murder, was a mortal sin, and if you died with it unconfessed, you were going to hell. Sure, whatever you say, Sister.)

Buckley is being charged because Rachel Rollins, our grandstanding, publicity-loving DA, wants to make an example out of him. She's also pretty much stated that she believes the act is a civil rights violation - i.e., done with racist intent - because Buckley is white and Irving is black. But that she, quite generously, won't bring those charges.

I don't believe that Buckley will go to prison. He probably won't even go to jail. He's no doubt a lout, a jerk, an a-hole college kid. And he'd probably had one beer too many. (Not that that's an excuse.) But he's not a hard core criminal, and I'd hate to see him have to do serious time so that D.A. Rollins can prove a point. He doesn't need to have his life destroyed by a felony conviction to make up for the fact that our history is littered with racists getting away with murder. (Buckley's father died suddenly this winter, so that will no doubt come into play when it comes to making a deal.)

Don't know why I've been thinking about justice, and just how blind it is or isn't, but there you have it. 

The quality of my mercy wants to fall a little on all three of these miscreants.