Friday, June 08, 2018

Ancient Chinese secret

Back in the day, there was a TV ad for Calgon water softener that was set in a Chinese laundry. The customer asks the proprietor what his secret is to getting her shirts – or, this being the early 1970’s, her husband’s shirts – so clean. “Ancient Chinese secret,” he tells her. At which point his wife comes out of the backroom waving a Calgon box and announcing that they’re out of Calgon.

Calgon may not be one of them, but I have come to appreciate that there are ancient Chinese secrets, and one of them is acupuncture.

I’ve had a frozen shoulder for over a year now.

It’s not as a bad as the frozen shoulder I had a few years prior.

That one was truly awful. At one point, I could barely turn a key in a lock without intense pain.

But PT got me through it.

PT’s taking a lot longer this time.

I go three times a week, suffer through a painful stretch once a week, and do stretching exercises several times each day. I also use arnica gel on it. (I say arnica, but I think I’m going to start using the term wolf bane instead.)

It’s not that I can’t use my arm – no problems turning a key in a lock – but certain motions (like putting dishes in an upper cabinet) are difficult.

So after consulting with my friend Timo from the Gymo, a fellow PT patient who’s become a buddy – it was Timo who introduced me to arnica wolfbane – I decided to go to his acupuncturist. My first appointment was yesterday.

The acupuncturist, who is also a nurse, works out of her house in Cambridge. I was treated in what I believe was at one point her dining room

If the setup is eccentric, LP – the acupuncturist – is anything but. Smart, funny, thorough. Knowledgeable about the ways of Western medicine – she’s a nurse – and of the wonders of acupuncture. Pretty amazing.

In addition to attending to my frozen shoulder, LP took a look at my wonky ankle.

The wonky ankle is no big deal. I had an MRI and “all” it is is some tiny tears in the ligaments and tendons. It doesn’t keep me from getting in my 4-5 Fitbit miles every day, but it’s sometimes sore. I do PT to strengthen the muscles around the problem area, and use an NSAID ointment on it to relieve the nighttime pain. Not to mention that the only shoe that’s comfortable is a sneaker with a ton of support – one of the pricey ones (ASICs or Brooks are my favored brands), and I’ve even taken to wearing sneakers as slippers. So while the ankle isn’t a showstopper, it’s a PITA, metaphorically speaking.

If the ankle went truly bad, there is a ghastly surgery that was described to me by the orthopedist I saw. He wasn’t recommending it at all. Not at my wonky ankle stage. But I did half listen, and the operation seems to involve relocating your ankle, after which it puts you on your back with you foot elevated for 10 weeks. What a treat for my sisters! Coin toss for the first 5 weeks vs. the last?

Things haven’t gotten to that stage, but the ankle has been irksome.

So I got acupunctured, high and low, which involved little to no pain and included lying around a heated bed under heated blankets, which isn’t a bad way to spend an hour or so.

No, I’m not cured. But that frozen shoulder has thawed out a bit more than it does during my average PT session. And the ankle feels a bit less wonky. I’ll be interested to hear what my PT guy says when I see him today.

Whatever Jake has to say – and I’m a big believer in the power and glory of Jake – I have a return appointment to see LP next week for another acupuncture session.

For now, ancient Chinese secrets ‘r us. What else have you got for me?

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