Monday, December 21, 2015

Not too late to shop the NM Christmas Book

How fancy is this year's Neiman Marcus Christmas Book?

Well, it doesn't even say 2015 on the cover. It writes it out for us: TWO THOUSAND FIFTEEN.

So if you haven't finished your Christma shopping for 2015 Two Thousand Fifteen, you might want to start turning those nearly 200 two hundred pdf pages fast. After all, you have the list, but they have the magic.

And when we're talking magic, we're not talking the pedestrian, hey-I-can-afford-that items like the $80 Stella McCarthy iPhone case shaped like a shark. Or the $58 Christian LaCroix advent calendar. (Actually, you're a bit late in the game for that one. Maybe it's on sale. Buy one cheap and save it for next Xmas.)

They also have hoverboards, only they call them Personal Transporters, which, come to think about it, is what I call my feet. Only they don't have the cheapskate(board) ones that turn into personal powering infernos. Theirs cost $1,800.

But I know you. You want to buzz right down to page 37, for this year's Fantasy Gifts. My fantasy gift would run more along the lines of a two-hour walk in Central Park with Pierce Brosnan, but I'm sure there are plenty of folks who'd like to be heading down the highway, looking for adventure with a couple of studly young men. Those two studly young men are Keanu Reeves and his pal Gard Hollinger, and you and your pal would be riding an Arch Motorcyle side by side with them, up and down the California coast for two days. $150K.

If you don't have quite that much to spend, fantasy-wise, you can sign up for a couple of cases of each of eight "orphan bourbons", "long forgotten" rare whiskeys, including Lost Prophet, Rhetoric, and Old Blowhard. $125K. Go for it.

It would be worth $90K to me (more, really) to get my husband back so I could send him on a trip 20 miles into nearly outer space in a high altitude balloon. Not exactly the space shot he'd always wanted to go on, but pretty darned close.

Limited edition Mustang ($95K). Artisanal tour of Venice and Florence with Ippolita and Artemest craftsmen ($150K). Lots of good fantasy stuff, on down to the low-low price of $10K for a couture diary in which an artist will paint 20 of your favorite outfits, which are then notated with the scoop on the designer, the occasion, etc. (Green jumper and white blouse. Eisenberg and O'Hara. Worn for four years of high school, day in day out.)

The ultimate trip to India - pack your dancing shoes for a lesson on a Bollywood set - goes for $400k, but that's for two folks.

If you want to treat the kiddies, how about $5K for a costume trunk, replete with costumes: super heroes (boys), prinessses (girls). How deliciously retro...And speaking of retro, there are some non-fantasy tunics in there that wouldn't have looked out of place on a college girl in 1970. Only we wouldn't have paid $300 for one.

Again on the non-fantasy end, if you're going to have to give a toast, and you don't know what to say and you don't know how to google the word "toast", there's a $95 book, Rising to the Occasion, that will help you out. And if you're looking for a gift to accompany that toast, and you don't want to buy off the registry, there's a peacock figurine covered in Swarovski crystals for $28K.

I was intrigued by the 25 different colored thongs (served up in a cookie jar) that are one size fits all, size 0 to 10. I know there's not much to a thong, but I really don't see how something that fits a size 0 is going to be an equally good fit for someone who's a 10. But what do I know about thongs?  And that cookie jar's acryclic. Who wants that?

I can't say I was disappointed to get to the end of the TWO THOUSDAND FIFTEEN NM Christmas Book. Lots of stuff I don't want. Lots of stuff I don't need. Lots of stuff I don't like. Lots of stuff I can't afford. The one item I coveted at all was the cashmere robe. Having thrown out my old Polarfleece one with the bleach stain, I am the in market for one. But I just can't justify $500 for a bathrobe. Even if it is monogrammed.

But that's just me.

If you want to do some last minute glam shoping, here's your link to fantasyland.

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