Monday, May 04, 2015

Congratulations! Our promotional department has authorized us to award you a Royal Caribbean or Norwegian Cruise…

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a scam e-mail from Nigeria, so I was dee-lighted to receive some scam snail-mail, from outfit unknown, offering me a free cruise. Woo-freakin’-hoo!

And – their “records indicate” – if I get back to them in 72 hours, I’m also entitled to “Round-trip Airfare for 2 Adults.” (Tick, tick, tick.)

Well, ain’t I the lucky duck.

The come-on includes a fake check for $1,897.00 (“void after 30 days”).

Too bad I can’t endorse it over to a Nigerian scam artist.

But, alas, it’s not real check. It “must be redeemed for cruise voucher.” Oh, that.

The check has all sorts of hilarious mumbo-jumbo on it, clearly “proof points” of the authenticity of the sender.

Document has a blue background & mircoprinting. Back has an artificial watermark. Hold at angle to view. Void if not present.

Well, other than the fact that the blue background is mottled with white, there is no watermark. Could mine be void? Ya think?

Face of document is blue. Document security includes copy-void safety, microprinting and simulated watermark.

And in real microprinting it says:

*Padlock design is a certification mark of the Check Payment Systems Association.

Because we all know that you couldn’t put a fraudulent padlock design on a fake check. No, that could never happen.

But my personal favorite is this honey:

Federal Reserve Board of Governors Reg. C.C.

Say what?

I will admit that, despite the fact that my husband’s doctoral dissertation was on how the Fed sets interest rates, I had to look this one up. What Reg CC is about is how long banks can hang on to a deposit before it clears.

Given that I can’t deposit the fake check to begin with, how, exactly, does Reg CC apply?

Reg CC, the better to scam you with…

I did call the 1-800-965-1152 Toll Free Number, just to see how they answered the phone.

Alas, it was just the old ‘next available agent.’

So the scam artists running this scam are no name.

Last year, apparently, they were dangling their offer under the name Promotions 2U.

And here’s how it works (or doesn’t work) if you want to redeem that offer for the free cruise:

You'll have to sit through a 90 minute sales pitch about for an expensive travel club membership, then get the one-on-one treatment from a salesperson whose goal is to get your to sign a contract for thousand of dollars. 

A major credit card is typically required just to get in the door.  And you have no time to investigate before you make a decision.  In most cases, you get very little information until you make your reservation for the 90 minute presentation.  Once at the presentation, you typically must make a decision to buy on the spot. (Source: KOMO News, Seattle)

It almost goes without saying that the Better Business Bureau, state Attorneys General, and others get plenty of complaints about these outfits from folks who claim:

…they've lost thousands of dollars to travel club membership promoters who use high pressure sales tactics, make impressive claims, then don't provide the promised services and don't respond to consumer complaints.

It also goes without saying that these creeps are using the logos of Norwegian Cruise Line and Royal Caribbean without their permission.

But while the cruise line aren’t directly involved, according to KOMO, these travel outfits use multiple layers of “business affiliates so you never know exactly who you’re dealing with.”

I suspect that these scam artists stay just one side of the legal line. They certainly travel way far over the ethical line.

It’s easy to see how people who would never get sucked into a Nigerian “wire $10,000 to my account and you’ll inherit $100,000” too-good-to-be-true scams could get caught off guard by a scam like this.

A cruise sounds fun, etc., etc.

I suspect, however, that anyone who resists the sale pitch to sign up for Travel-a-rama never see the inside of a cabin on Norwegian. No “cruise like a Norwegian” for them.

Many years ago, in pursuit of frequent flyer miles, my husband and I signed us up to sit through a sales pitch for a Marriott time share.

We had no intention of buying – why would we need a time share in downtown Boston when we already live there? – but we sat politely through the presentation.  We wanted those 50,000 miles or whatever it was.

And we never – despite my writing to Mr. Marriott (or whomever) – got them thar’ miles.

Did we act in good faith?

Well, not particularly.

But the offer never said you had to buy. It just said you had to come to the presentation and take a tour of the facility (which we were genuinely interested in seeing: it was in the old Boston’s Custom Tower Building).

They invited us; we didn’t go after them!

Oh, boo-hoo.

At least we weren’t out thousands of dollars, and no one asked us for our credit card.

Believe me, Jim found any number of ways to accrue miles that didn’t require leaving the house.

Anyway, consider this a Public Service Announcement from Pink Slip. Throw that microprinted, Reg CC no value check in the recycle bin.

If only I could introduce these bums to Carmen from Cardholder Services…

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