Friday, April 24, 2015

They don’t call it a junk drawer for nothing

A couple of weeks back, I sorted through my main junk drawer.

Oh, I go to this particular junk drawer all the time since I shrewdly decided to always keep a comb there.  But I seldom go through it. Apparently, I keep a lot of things that I’m always looking for there, as well. As in:

  • A couple of small pocketbook-sized hairbrushes
  • More combs than I thought were in there
  • A couple of pairs of nail clippers
  • Several tubes of lip goop/lip balm/Chapstick/whatever. Included in the bunch was a tube of Napoleon Dynamite lip balm which, given that the movie was out 10 years ago, must be ossified by now. I didn’t check; for that one, I just chucked. There was also an extremely cute little travel jar of Vaseline. (If you haven’t figured it out by now, I have perpetually dry lips.)
  • Three glass cases
  • Three pens
  • Two notebooks
  • Two thumbdrives
  • Two sheathes for long-gone umbrellas
  • Four packets of Kleenex
  • Two padlocks for the gym, which I no longer need because they’ve replaced BYOL with a terrible system that pretty much guarantees you’ll never be able to leave your pocketbook in a locker that locks.

And that’s just the jumble of stuff I’m always looking for. In addition to all those goodies, I found:

  • A gift receipt for a book my cousin gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago
  • A pair of black shoelaces
  • A diagnostic fuse kit, I think for a car. (What was I doing with that?)
  • A quarter-roll of painter’s blue tape
  • A knee brace and an ankle brace
  • Iron cleaner
  • A key chain
  • A police whistle
  • Hand warmers
  • A Wash ‘n Dri
  • Two wallets
  • A roll of “traveler’s toilet paper”, which I will never need because I always have a Kleenex packet
  • A pocket protector with a picture of an armadillo on it
  • My niece Caroline’s birth certificate
  • Twelve train schedules dating back to 2009 for a whole bunch of different lines
  • Two bottles of bed bug protector
  • Instructions for long-gone clocks and other small appliances, some of which I don’t even remember having
  • Two hair rollers (sometimes I throw a curler in the back of my hair when it’s drying so that it will flip down; the days – make that nights - when I’d actually sleep with curlers in my hair are decades in the past)

But my favorite find in the junk drawer was a bunch of holy cards, including one from the May 17, 1953 Our Lady of the Angles Holy Name Society Communion Breakfast. Since I wasn’t there, I must have gotten this one from my father. Wonder if this was the Communion Breakfast that JFK spoke at…

All I can say is, they don’t call it a junk drawer for nothing.

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