Thursday, December 18, 2014

It’s nice, you know, to kiss your beau…just watch for the drone-bearing mistletoe

Not scary enough that the skies will sooner or later be filled with drones bearing whatever we order from Amazon. Not sufficient that we’ll be trying to duck and cover while walking down the street and a drone overhead loses altitude while delivering something heavy: a canoe, a fridge, a side of beef. Not unnatural enough that so we’ll be observing chevrons of drones where we once observed chevrons of geese. (With luck, Canada geese going elsewhere fast. One thing in a drone’s favor is that they don’t leave nasty turds behind.)

Maybe none of these bad drone things will happen.

Maybe we’ll all have 3D printers and will be able to print up that canoe, fridge, side of beef.

But what if 3D doesn’t work out, and all these private, unregulated drones start colliding with real planes? What if they start peeking through our windows? Stalking us?

It’s raining drones, alleluia…

Well, as nerve-wracking as the idea of drone-filled skies is, we apparently won’t be safe from them when we’re indoors, either. At least if you’re supping at the TGIF in Sheepshead Bay, New York.

That’s where, a few weeks ago, someone got the bright idea of having a mistletoe drone do a fly-about version of the kiss-cam, hovering over couples until they locked lips.

To cover the TGIF event – a powerfully irresistible combination of schlock holiday and cool technology - Courier Life’s Brooklyn Daily sent a reporter and photographer over to TGIF. Unfortunately, photographer Georgine Benvenuto lost a bit of her nose, plus got clipped on the chin. I don’t believe that these sorts of things are generally associated with mistletoe, but it’s been a while…

The operator, David Quiones, claims the accident wouldn't have happened if the reporter didn't flinch when the flying contraption landed on her hand, sending the drone hurtling towards her companion. (Source: Engadget)

Well, if something with whirring, uncovered blades landed on my hand, I might flinch, too. Maybe Courier Life’s Brooklyn Daily needs to equip its reporters with falconer gauntlets, and its photographers with hockey masks.

Despite drawing blood from someone's face, he doesn't believe the incident will affect business: "If people get hurt, they're going to come regardless. People get hurt in airplanes, they still fly. There is a risk involved -- anything flying, there is risk."

Actually, I don’t believe that most people who get hurt in airplanes still fly. I’m guessing that, statistically speaking, the majority of folks who get hurt in airplanes get hurt hurt. As in BIG HURT. As in die. So, other than flexing their angel wings, their flying days are over.

As for TGIF, well, a spokesperson told Brooklyn Daily that the company isn't worried about more customers getting injured. People generally steer clear of the drones on their own, she said, adding that they do not let consumers touch them.

TGIF may not let its diners touch the drones that are flying around, but what happens if a drone stalls and crashes into your nachos or potato skins? Drops into your pitcher of margaritas?

The world is a dangerous enough place without having to worry about a drone attack at TGIF.

Talk about you better watch out

1 comment:

trixie said...

As if I needed another reason to avoid TGIF! And how many awkward first dates or business lunches will be caused by the hovering mistletoe!