Tuesday, January 29, 2013

If I were looking for a high six- low seven-figure job…

Saturday’s Boston Globe had an article by Stan Grossfeld that highlighted the “plight” of former Celtic basketball great Robert Parish, who, like so many folks, is looking for a job. And, as we well know, if you’re closing in on 60, this is especially difficult.

“I want to get the word out,” Parish said. “NBA coach, assistant coach, front office, or television would be fine.’’ (Source: Boston.com)

Well, he got the word out alright…

Among the other words he got out:

Parish, who earned roughly $24 million in 21 years in the NBA, says he needs a job with a substantial six-to-seven-figure salary. “I don’t want to have to start over. I’m not homeless and I’m not penniless, but I need to work.”

Well, I know that no one but no one likes to make a lifestyle change, but seriously folks, no one but no one actually needs a job “with a substantial six-to-seven figure salary.” Insubstantial six figures I can definitely see, especially if you live around here.

And, of course, substantial six is what assistant NBA coaches make, so he’s in the right ballpark, even if he does have scant coaching experience and hasn’t worked for some time. Many NBA coaches and assistant coaches are former players who didn’t have coaching experience before they became coaches, so this isn’t a deal breaker. (Although being 59 without having serious coaching experience behind you probably doesn’t help.)

And it is always wise to begin your job search knowing what salary ballpark you do want to be in. Still, it does seem somewhat unwise to draw this line in the public sand by mentioning it to a reporter, and putting it out there so boldly. One thing to make sure your agent, or the recruiter you’re working with, knows what you’re after. Another thing to air it in an article that will be read by thousands, and commented on by hundreds – mostly negatively, I’m afraid – in that sterling way that anonymous commenters have of turning every article that appears in The Globe into an opportunity to vent political, social, and racial spleen.

But it’s not the money talk that I found so misguided.

Nope, what was most misguided was Parish’s trashing the NBA for not returning his calls, and his former teammates for not jumping all over themselves to help him out.

Parish, it seems, never did much of anything to build his network, and is now doing his best to alienate and piss of the network he never built.

Of particular interest to Celtic fans was his sounding off on Larry Bird and Kevin McHale, who alongside Parish, formed The Big Three that gave the Celtics three championships in the 1980’s.

Anyway, even though they weren’t great buds off the court – Parish was pretty aloof during and after his playing days, and referred to Bird and McHale as “acquaintances” – Parish claims to have reached out to them for help, only to have been snubbed.

Bird says otherwise.

Traveling, he sent a concise text in response to questions from the Globe: “Robert never called me for a job. Period.”

McHale, in keeping with his voluble personality, had more to say:

McHale, for his part, expressed remorse in a voicemail. He said he tried to hire Parish when he was in Minnesota, but “I went back and checked . . . we were actually reducing spots at the time. Then I was let go from Minnesota.”

“I feel terrible about the whole thing, but I just didn’t have a position,’’ McHale said. “I would have loved to have hired Robert if something would’ve came up.”

Having Larry Bird contradict you is not a good thing to have happen if you’re looking for a job in basketball. But being snitty about Kevin McHale is far worse. McHale is not, of course, universally loved – he was way too tough a ballplayer for that – but he pretty much considered an engaging, genuine, funny, and altogether decent guy. And, oh yeah, unlike Bird, he’s still active in basketball (head coach of Houston.) And, oh yeah, his twenty-something daughter died of lupus a couple of months ago. Think twice before you publicly call out this guy.

“In my case, I don’t have any friends,’’ Parish said… “Across the board, most NBA teams do not call back. You need a court order just to get a phone call back from these organizations. I’m not a part of their fraternity.”

Well, Robert, just what do you expect? You’re 59, and you’re just now realizing that, in the real world, you need to be part of a network to find a job, especially when you have a spotty post-player resume?

Parish also took on former teammate, and current president of operations for the Celtic:

“You would think Danny would’ve stepped up and said something,’’ he said. “I think he’s got a little pull with the organization. But I didn’t take it personal. I understood.’’

He then characterized Ainge as “selfish”, because in their playing days, Parish had taken fewer shots to give Ainge more scoring opportunities.

Now Ainge may well be a stunningly selfish a-hole, but if I were looking for a job in basketball, I might not be out there criticizing one of the head guys of a fairly well known franchise.

Throughout the article, Parish keeps claiming that he’s not resentful, not angry, not whining.

“I have never sat here and said those [expletive] didn’t call me back. Not one time. I am very proud of this fact.”

But, errrr, Robert, aren’t you kinda/sorta saying it now?

Meanwhile, the fact is that Parish, who earned $24 million during his career, has had to sell his championship, Hall of Fame, and 50 Greatest Player rings to keep going, which is just pathetic.

I know, I know, by pro athlete standards, $24 million over 21 years is not a great deal of money. (If Parish were playing now, he’d be making that per year, between salary and endorsements.) There are a lot of people with their hands out when you’ve “made it,” and it’s plenty easy to squander a million bucks a year if you’re not careful, which Parish admittedly wasn’t.

But if you’re looking for work, letting yourself get sucked into this sort of interview doesn’t seem to best way to go about it. Of course, excise out the good tidbits, like calling Ainge selfish (my personal favorite), and the story is just another boring saga about yet another sad sack jock who wasn’t able to hold it together.

“People shouldn’t feel sad; they should help me get a job,” said the Hall of Fame center with the deep voice on the other end. “I need a coaching job in the NBA. I’m restless and I need money. ”

Well, Robert, my guess is that most people – beyond a reflexive, human interest, ‘pretty sad to see such a great athlete end up like this’ – won’t feel particularly sad once they’ve finished reading the article and move on to more important concerns.  But I’m guessing that they won’t be helping you get a job, either.

The one possibility, I’m thinking, would be if Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Catholic Guilt Guy, Kevin McHale could find Parish an assistant coaching spot with the Houston Rockets.

But being restless, needing money, wanting a coaching job – and carping about how the “fraternity” isn’t all over themselves reaching out to you – isn’t all that compelling a “hire me” argument.

Sorry, Robert, but this is pretty sad.

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