Outplaced

Thanks to my friend John Whiteside, I saw a blog post by Cory Doctorow, over on BoingBoing, about the rise of fly-by-night outplacement services that:

…assign their "coaches" 15 clients per day, send out amateurish, typo-laden job applications on behalf of job-seekers (without their knowledge, signing their names to the cover letters, no less), and generally make a piss-poor hash out of their charges' future employment prospects.

I’m sure that there are any number of such outfits out there, bottom-feeders taking advantage of mass-layoffs. And, of course, there are plenty of mass-laying-off companies that unwittingly sign on with these fly-by-nighters because they don’t know any better, and think they’re really providing their ex-employees with a service. Or that, quite cynically, just want to satisfy a checklist item as cheaply as possible, so that they can stand there in front of their huddled masses and tell them that they’re providing outplacement for everyone who’s just been remaindered.

I’ve used outplacement services twice, and both times I was quite fortunate.

This can in part be attributed to having been at a decent enough level in the company to get the “premium service.” I know that in both cases where I thought the services were excellent, there was a lot of grumbling among rank-and-file lay-off-ees who’d felt that all they got was a couple of hours in a résumé mill.
The first time I was laid off – fired, actually, after getting in a heated argument with the company president over how we were going to position our upcoming lay-offs – the outplacement counselor I worked with was quite excellent.

When I first met with her, I was completely upset and panicked, and she got me to calm down and figure out what I wanted to do next. Which was to not find myself in the same sort of situation I’d just left after nearly 10 years. Since I had a decent severance package to soften the blow, I was able to take my time. And while I certainly didn’t manage to avoid yet another dysfunctional mess of a company, I actually liked the content of my new job better than I had at the prior dysfunctional mess of a company. So thank you, Nancy, for that.

My time in outplacement was supposed to be three months, but, because I participated in their networking sessions, and helped other displaced persons with their résumés and cover letters, they told me I could hang on for as long as I wanted. Which turned out to be another two months. During my time in lay-off vile, it was completely helpful to have a place to get up and go to every morning, since that’s what I’d been doing for the prior 20 years.

The second time around, having volunteered for separation from the dysfunctional mess of a company I’d gone to after being fired from my earlier dysfunctional mess of a company, I knew I was going to take six months off to chill and enjoy my severance. Still, it was good to have a place to go and hang out a couple of days a week, and connect with my now-former colleagues. Again, my outplacement counselor was excellent, and Geralyn and I became friendly enough to stay vaguely connected for a couple of years of occasional lunches. Again, even after the three months allotted time was up, the firm was quite loosey-goosey about letting those of us whose time was up continue to drift in and out, use their conference rooms, etc. Which is what I did with two former colleagues, with whom I planned a new business. As it turns out, it never took off as a business, per se, mostly because we were all doing our own thing and never focused all that much on any joint work. Though we never actually did business as a business – although we did have a cool logo and Christmas cards – the three of us are still connected, and a number of my consulting gigs (including two active current ones) are through these guys.

In neither case did “my” outplacement services directly help me find a new job. But they were both tremendously helpful in terms of getting me to get my act together, providing support, and giving me a place to go. And if you’re used to leaving the house at 7 every morning, and returning at 7 in the evening, the value of having a place to go cannot be overestimated.

But my experience, of course, is based on having been in the (relatively) senior ranks at both companies that sprung for outplacement for me. I’m sure I would have felt a lot different it I’d just gotten 15 minutes with an apparatchik who scanned my résumé for obvious typos, and told me where to file for unemployment.

My outplace days are, of course, behind me.

While I’m not going to say that I exactly remember them fondly, all in all, both times were pretty good experiences.

Sounds like a case of lucky me.

By the way, Cory Doctorow includes this little horror story in his post:

I'm always reminded of my friend's outplacement horror story: when he was laid off, he was called into a board room with the other unlucky unemployment lotto winners, where a high price consultant had scattered coins all over the floor and furniture and dimmed the lights save for a few dramatic spots. "Change," he intoned, "is all around you. And there's no need to fear it."

I suppose it could have been worse. Think if they’d decided to go with a theme of “shit happens.”