Tuesday, September 24, 2024

Kinda-sorta serves them right

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about (or going to) weddings. But I am certainly aware that they have become a big thing since I was a girl and weddings were relatively simple events without a ton of crazy hoohah and fanfare. The prime differentiator from one wedding to the next seemed to be whether there was an open bar or not.

But like so much else, weddings have become a THING.

Many are elaborate affairs that stretch across multiple days, often at a destination that you need to travel to. Some have themes - Roaring Twenties, Star Wars, Renaissance Faire - where guests are asked to come in costume. Others are color-coded, with guests requested to wear a specific color. 

There are professionally choreographed dances. Forget the clumsy father-daughter twirl to "Daddy's Little Girl." There's the groom and groomsmen dance; the bride and bridesmaids; the father of the bride's star turn, with or without his daughter; the mother of the groom's elaborate multiple-song mashup dance, with or without her son. 

Years ago, I went to the wedding, in Galway, of young Irish friends. The grandfather of the groom, the father of the groom, and the groom himself all performed step dances. But they were all champion Country Kerry steppers. It was great! 

The highlight for me of that wedding was when everyone got down on the floor and did a synchronized routine to "Rock the Boat," which I didn't at the time realize was an Irish thing. I only found that out when everyone got down and started rocking during an episode of Derry Girls.

But most of the weddings I've attended - and I don't go to a ton of weddings -  from modest backyard affairs to black-tie-optional swank hotel do's, have been on the simpler side. Nothing crazy. No bride-zilla antics. No psycho drama. Buffet or table service. Open or pay bar. Champagne toast. Bride and groom drop by every table. Everyone out on the floor for Shout and The Love Train

One trend I've read about online is that some couples have their dog serve as their ring-bearer. Seems a bit strange to me, given that the honor usually goes to the cutest little nephew, but, hey, dogs are people, too.

But I hadn't read about folks using an owl as their ring bearer. And at one July wedding, the owl took off with the rings. This was in England where, thanks to Harry Potter, his bestie Hedwig, and the snowy owls that deliver the mail at Hogwarts, owls are increasingly hired to do the job. 

Callum Russel witnessed the owl take wing with the rings.
He says the bird flew away with the couple’s rings around 1 p.m. and sat on top of the venue. The couple finally retrieved their rings seven hours later, around 8 p.m.

"It seemed like they had been ready to do the rings but the owl went away,” he said. (Source: People)
While the trend began in England, it's taking off in the US as well, with "more couples are opting for birds of prey like owls and hawks to serve as ring bearers during their nuptials."
The small business Raptor Events, based in Long Beach, Calif., offers a raptor ring bearer package for $1,200, which includes a rehearsal with the bird, ring bearer services, photos with the bird after the ceremony and a "cocktail hour" meet and greet with the ring bearer.

Raptor Events has a pretty diversified product line, which includes falcons used for pest control, hired to drive away nuisance birds like pigeons and starlings. They also have a specific practice for helping those plagued by peacocks. In the Boston area, we are plagued with wild turkeys, but I haven't heard of peacocks (and hens: remember the ladies) being a thing in these parts. Raptor Events is in California, so maybe people go in more for ornamental peacocks without realizing that they can be destructive and nasty. Sort of like our wild turkeys.

But back to the ring-bearing wedding owl. 

If you trust the rings to your cutie pie little nephew, he may have a meltdown or work stoppage on the way down the aisle. But the rings don't disappear.

I suppose a dog ring bearer might swallow the rings, which could lead to an unpleasant wait and see period. But you will get the rings back. 

But the British couple was lucky that the handler managed to coax the owl down after seven hours. The bird could have just as easily absconded with the goods entirely. 

Guess the Brit newlyweds will have a tale to tell their kids and grandkids, but the disruption and fear factor kind-sorta serves the couple right. 

The crazier and more elaborate a wedding gets to be, the more that can go wrong. 

Let's hear it for the weddings of yore. Simple, to the point, got the job done without any unnecessary risk or drama. Maybe the priest muffed the name of the bride or groom, but there was no damned owl taking off with the rings. 


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