Thursday, January 25, 2024

Bye-bye anxiety. (What, me worry?)

No doubt about it. There are plenty of reasons to be anxious. 

Climate change. The ghastly political situation in general. Trump & Company in particular. Covid. Racism. The immigrant crisis. Gun violence. Ukraine. The scourge of addiction. Incipient fascism. Reproductive rights under threat. Homelessness. The Mideast. The availability - and cost - of healthcare. AI, and the big question: will the benefits outweigh the prospect of wholesale job loss? Etc.

If we're not worrying about all of this for ourselves, figuring that we'll be dead and gone before the full apocalypse is visited upon us, we toss and turn about the generations coming after us. Our family members, our younger friends, their kids and so on.

Speaking of younger, if you're part of the rising generation, you can heap on a surfeit of college debt and the lack of affordable housing. 

If you're gay or trans, well...

I have friends - a gay couple who live in Texas - who are actively figuring out where to flee to. They're looking in the Northeast, where they're both from. But they're also considering a move to Europe. J just got his Irish passport, and R is going after his German one. Lucky them: if things go completelyto hell here, they've got an escape hatch. (I have told them that their options are figuring out how they can adopt someone who's old enough to be their mother; or, their getting divorced and one of them marrying me. I'm good either way.)

Every generation has faced difficult situations, but the mix today is so grave, existential on some fronts - with everything compounded and magnified by relentless 24/7 social media and blaring news - it's no wonder that anxiety is so prevalent. 

Fortunately - and not surprisingly - there's "an industry eager to monetize our distress."

...Where there’s a panic attack, insomnia, a racing heart, there’s an industry eager to monetize the symptoms, and by this point in our collective breakdown, CBD gummies are just the start. (Source: Boston Globe)

Once you get past -or out-anxiety - goodies like CBD gummies, and old standbys like anti-anxiety meds, cures for the anxiety that ails you include "an anti-anxiety IV drip at a hydration bar run by nurses." You can tap anti-anxiety sound apps that are supposed to calm your nerves, choosing from a long menu of variations on the theme of rain, including "rain on a tent, rain on an umbrella, [and] rain on leaves. 

You can lay your anxious body down on a an acupressure mat, which is a rebranded bed of nails. There's even a popular brand called Bed of Nails. (Truth in advertising?) 

You've heard of ThunderShirts for dogs? The wraps that help your pupper through stressful situations like a thunderstorm? You can get yourself, or the human of your choice, an anti-anxiety blanket. 

There's also the rise of anti-anxiety influencers, who take to TikTok to tout their coping strategies, including mowing down Sour Patch Kids. 

I don't know about you, but the thought of there being anti-anxiety influencers kinda-sorts is raising my anxiety level. 

If only I had some Sour Patch Kids to suck on. A cure for hiccups I've used is gulping down a jigger of vinegar. Wonder if it'd work on anxiety?

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