Vito Perrone had been offered his dream job: superintendent of public schools in Easthampton, MA. He was in the contract review stage, and that's when he made what turned out to be a fatal error. In sending an e-mail to the chairwoman of the School Committee and her (female) assistant, requesting some contract changes, Perrone addressed the two women as "ladies."
Apparently Committee Chair Cynthia Kwiecinski no like.Perrone said Kwiecinski later told him addressing the pair of women as “ladies” was a microaggression, and “the fact that he didn’t know that as an educator was a problem.” (Source: Boston Globe)
Perrone apologized for having caused unintended offense, but next thing Perrone knew, the offer had been rescinded.
“I was shocked,” Perrone told the [Hampshire] Gazette. “I grew up in a time when ‘ladies’ and ‘gentlemen’ was a sign of respect. I didn’t intend to insult anyone.”
The School Committee hasn't commented on this matter, so there's no explanation out there for the revoked offer, other than the "ladies microaggression." But so far, two-plus-two does seem to be four.
There's been plenty of uproar over this issue.
Perrone, who had earlier in his career been Easthampton's high school principal and football coach, has a lot of community support behind him. The local teacher's union has come out and held a rally in his defense. Many are asking the School Committee to revisit its decision; many are decrying that the vote change happened behind closed doors. And many aren't happy that the Committee is jumping in on cancel culture.
There's also a lot of feeling that this situation could have been handled better. Maybe Perrone shouldn't have spilled the tea so publicly; maybe the School Committee - who better? - should have used it as a teachable moment. Especially since the offense seems so picayune. Come on, Easthampton, it's not as if he called the women hos or bee-otches.
Those crying microaggression believe that the use of the word "lady" is never appropriate in a professional setting. It's condescending, infantilizing, patronizing, diminishing.
Ladies.
It's a bit old school, but microaggression?
Not my viewpoint, but I'm an old who came of age in a decidedly non-PC world, where using the term "ladies" would have been the least of anyone's worries. It's just not up there with ethnic, religious, racial, geographic, gender slurs. IMHO.
Ladies.
I do take umbrage - and did even when I was young - with anyone using the term "young lady." That I do find condescending, infantilizing, patronizing, diminishing. And just plain stupid. Because I always get the impression that the men who use it think it's a bit flattering, when it is, of course, solid BS. (Amazingly, men still use it on me occasionally, mostly in the homeless shelter where I volunteer. I'm 73. I don't know anyone who doesn't find the "young lady" nonsense ridiculous.)
But ladies?
I probably wouldn't use it in a professional setting. Now, anyway. (I may well have in the past.)
But I use it plenty.
When I'm out with women - family and friends, we're "let's go, ladies." I'm on an alumnae committee at my college which, when I was there was "girls" only. When we email back and forth, when we're meeting, we use it all the time.
In truth, if we didn't use ladies in emails, we'd probably use "all."
In truth, if we didn't use ladies in person, we'd probably use "guys."
Guys.
That's become another word non grata.
Another word us olds grew up with. I guess we were just used to the male words being universal. Mankind. No man is an island. Everyman.
The (then) alma mater of my all girls high school used the word "brotherhood" in it. (One of my close friends wrote the lyrics.)
But ladies.
It seems friendly, warm, affectionate, maybe a bit ironic. Because, after all, no one I know wants to be associated with the nicey-nice connotations of lady - ladylike, act like a lady. There ain't no one I know who came of age in the 1960's and 1970's who wants to be associated with.
Girls who were "ladylike" were saccharine, cloyingly sweet, insipid, boring. What we would have called "pukey."
But ladies? Using the word "ladies?"
How can that possibly be a firing or non-hiring offense?
Yes, I get that some ladies guys folks may not like it. But isn't the right thing to do - the kind (dare I say ladylike) thing - would have been to bring Vito Perrone up to date. Let him know that a word that might work among family and friends is inappropriate for the workplace. And not just rescind an offer for a job that he was deemed best suited for (among the candidates in contention).
It's not that little things don't matter. But, but, but...
In a world where people are mowing down kids with AR-15's, etc., it sure does seem we have bigger things to focus on.
