I believe the fantasy is that these are fantasies...

Yesterday, I reviewed the first half of the Neiman-Marcus Christmas Fantasy Gifts for 2019. Today, I thumb through the rest.

I do fantasize about having a dog, and 2020 may well be The Year of the Pooch, but I will not be investing in A Pet Paradise, a custom made doghouse that goes for $70,000 at minimum. First off, I live in a condo, a small condo, so would have no place to erect a scaled down "Cape Cod beach cottage or a Brooklyn brownstone," let alone a minituarized version of the Taj Mahal. My fantasy dog-of-the-future will have to be satisfied with two dog beds, one up and one down. And plenty of toys. But much as I believe that most dogs are better than most people, I don't think you need to set your pupper up in a mini Taj Mahal.

But I would spend $70K on a dog house before I'd spend $125K to Create a Couture Pair of Christian Louboutins. It does include 3 nights at a swank Paris hotel (and "free" air fare). Plus you get 5 pairs of off-the-shelf shoes to go along with your bespoke pair. And the donation part of this gift is $18K - over 14% - which is on the high side of the ledger. (All the N-M fantasy gifts include a charitable donation.) But Christian Louboutins? Towering spikes? I'm sure some women really like flashing those distinctive Louboutin bright red soles, but even assuming I found an off-the-shelf pair of shoes there that would fit me - 11 Narrow - I wouldn't want to risk a broken ankle. No, my days of teetering around in uncomrtable shoes - which were never all that long to begin with - are well in the past. As for the custom-made pair, would Christian Louboutin be happy designing a couture sneaker, which is what I'm wearing 99.99% of the time? I'd let him include the trademark red sole... 

And speaking of sneakers, for $110K you can Kick It in Toyko with a Sneaker Legend. Other than Chuck Taylor and Michael Jordan, I wasn't aware that there was such a thing as a sneaker legend. But I guess Jeff Staples is to sneakers what Mario Dedivanovic is to makeup: a brand name kind of guy that I've never heard of.  Anyway, as far as I can figure out, Jeff Staples isn't just as sneaker legend. He's a designer who collaborates with companies like Timberland (sweatpants, knit caps) and Yeenjoy (incense holder in the form of a pigeon). Staples is big into penguins, and a penguin icon appears on much of his clothing. In 2005, he released 200 pairs of something called a Pigeon Dunks sneakers. As Staples fans went after those PD's big time - after all\, they were as scarce as pigeons' teeth, riots broke out and the boys in blue from the NYPD had to be called in. Someone's out there on eBay asking for $39K for a size seven pair of those Dunks. (The highest bid when I looked was $6.2K, so the owner is perhaps overestimating the iconness of an icon.) Anyway, for $110K you get to swan (or pigeon) around Tokyo with Jeff Staples, and you get at least 8 items from his collaborations. If you're lucky, one of those collaborations might be a sculpture done in collaboration with James Jean
Washziu. 

I don't know about you, but that sure looks St. Sebastian - if St. Sebastian had worn a pigeon outfit -  a martyr who was tortured by being shot at with arrows, before being clubbed to death. But maybe it's just any old guy in a pigeon suit being shot full of arrows. 

As fantasy gifts go, A Taste of Italy would be more my cup of tea espresso. Except for the price tag of $200,000. That will buy you plane fare, 4 nights in a hotel, a session with a pasta maker, a cooking lesson with a famous chef (not to me, of course), and a dinner at a fancy restaurant. All that and a day spent tootling around the Italian countryside in "exotic cars." At $200K, I'd say that this one is a true steal. I'm just not saying which side's doing the stealing. You decide! (Ciao!)

But it's not quite ciao now, is it, as there's one final fantasy gift, InCircle Around the World. For the low, low price of $575,000 you and three buds get to private jet around the world and stay at posh hotels in Morroco, Italy, Sweden, Saint Lucia and Park City, Utah. Now that doesn't seem so round the world to me. And unless it's buried in fine print so fine I couldn't see it, I'm not sure how many nights per posh hotel we're talking. Ain't none of it my problem. The only folks who can purchase this fantasy gift are Neiman-Marcus or Bergdorf Goodman credit card holders. That's saving me a bundle.

Anyway, my shopping was completed even before I began scanning the Fantasy Gift catalogue. So between that, the price list, and the fact that there was nothing on the list that actually fit my fantasy, I swung through the virtual aisles full of so-called fantasy gifts without tossing a single tihng into my shopping cart. I'm guessing that this is consistent with the experience of, say, at least 99% of the shoppers looking through this catalogue.