Wednesday, May 02, 2018

Hanging by a thread

Today, we’re expecting the first summer weather of the year.

Having to date had only a handful of days that can be categorized as even vaguely spring-like – last week I was still wearing a down parka and gloves – we’re expecting temps in the 80’s. Yesterday, the heat was on; today, bring on the AC. And bring out the summer clothing. I’ve got today’s outfit all lined up. Sandals, even though I really need a peddie. And even though it’s before Memorial Day – so you’re not supposed to wear linen - a linen shirt. And a pair of lightweight jeans.

If you’re gutsy or exhibitionistic enough, there are apparently jeans that are even more lightweight. As in these “extreme cut out” jeans from Carmar:

Skimpy jeans

At $168, they’re a bit out of my normal jean price range. But they’re certainly, ah, cool looking. As in stay cool, not look cool. And in a completely uncomfortable, ridiculous way.If it’s skimpy you’re after, wouldn’t it be more practical and cheaper to just hack down a pair of your existing dungarees – maybe the ones with the oh-so-yesterday cut-out knees – and turn them into a pair of Daisy Duke’s that are so short the pockets hang out.

In case you’re interested, here (from the Carmar site) are some of the deets:

  • Relax fit, high rise
  • Extreme cut outs
  • Non-stretch (100% Cotton)
  • Hand wash cold
  • Lay flat to dry

Relax fit? I guess a birthday suit is relaxed fit, too.

Non-stretch? I’d say non-thanks, but really there’s nothing to stretch.

And hand wash cold? I guess since there’s not much by way of material, they won’t take 40 days and 40 nights to dry, as a standard pair of jeans might – especially if they were wrung out by hand.

If you’re not put off by any of the above – or the fact that the largest size they come in is an 8 – you’d better move fast, as these puppies are only available in limited quantity.

By the way, you shouldn’t give Carmar too much credit as an innovator.

As the HuffPo article I saw this in pointed out, Tokyo designer Thibaut brought out a similar style (dubbed “thong jeans”) last fall:

Skimpier jeans

Looks pretty much like the same dealio, making Carmar a copycat. But the Thibaut’s were only available in Japan (Hello, Kitty), so Carmar is Making America Great Again by making and marketing their wares in the good old US of A.

Carmar is an LA company, so maybe this is a West Coast thing.

I don’t suspect I’ll see any of these barmy things when I’m out and about today, even in our balmy weather. 

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A note of thanks to my sister Trish, head of the Pink Slip Fashion Advisory Council, for pointing this one out to me.

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