Love that Dirty Water: ten good reasons to root for the Red Sox in the World Series

In 2004, the Boston Red Sox were destiny's darlings - and everybody else's darlings, for that matter. The dramatic comeback against the New York Yankees (a.k.a., The Evil Empire)...The anti-climactic, yet nonetheless gratifying, World Series win for the first time since 1918...All those charming sentimental tales about folks visiting their grandfathers' graves to tell them the news.

Wasn't just about everybody on the face of the baseball earth just delighted for us?

What a difference three years makes.

Now, if you believe the blogosphere, we are second only to the Yankees in terms of loathing (and fear). The Red Sox are moneyball. They just buy up players - money is no object - then use 'em up and spit 'em out.

If you listen to the noise, the Red Sox are arrogant. They're mercenaries. Obnoxious. Classless. They are tools, fools, d-bags. (Not to be confused with D-back for Diamond Backs, by the way.) Our fans are pink-hat-wearing bandwagoners, front runners who have jumped on a winner. We deserve to go down big time to the plucky, hotstreak, young Colorado Rockies.

Sure, there's part of me decrying the payroll disparity - which is whopping. I'd like to hold the high ground as $$$ underdog, that's for sure. On the other hand, having been a Red Sox fan since the dismal days before the 1967 Impossible Dream (a.k.a., the dawn of the new Red Sox era), I like the fact that they field a competitive team. And, yes, I know that the moneybags ownership picks up a pretty big tag, but so do the fans. I think that Red Sox fans pay the highest ticket prices. We pay a lot for peanuts and crackerjacks, not to mention Fenway Franks, Poland Springs water, and the incredible shrinking ice cream Sportsbar. We have to pay for NESN to get the games - no freebies for Red Sox Nation. We buy a lot of caps and t-shirts. If you're interested, you can get them in Spanish, French, German, Japanese, Italian, Hebrew, and Gaelic (Stocai Dearga).

We pay a lot, and we get what we pay for.

(And a note to those who are flaming about the Sox being all mercenary: please note that a number of Red Sox players - Pedroia, Youk, Lester, Pap, Ellsbury, Bucholz - came up through the system. And please note further that there ain't no one in the majors playing for free.)

Of course, the glorious thing about sports is you really can't buy results: 3 of baseball's Final Four this year are low-payroll.

So it seems like everyone except members of Red Sox Nation and Japanese baseball fans - Dice-K, one of the players the Sox ponied up big time for, is a Japanese phe-nom - everyone wants "our boys" to lose.

For your consideration, however, there are some reasons why you should root, root, root for the Red Sox to win the World Series.

1. The Red Sox have better uniforms: What's with the Rockies and those jerkins or vests or whatever they are? They just don't look like real baseball uniforms. The Red Sox have had some uniform slip ups over the years, but they're back with traditional. Traditional works. (There are no jerkins in baseball.)
   
2. The Red Sox have a better color scheme: Jerkins aside, red, white and blue trump purple, silver, black, and white. Silver? Silver????? There's no silver in baseball. (In the Rockies' defense, they got in late and all the good colors were taken.)
   
3. The Red Sox have a better ballpark: Admittedly, the view from Coors Field (the Rocky Mountains) is better than the view from Fenway (the Citgo sign). But deficient as Fenway Park is and always will be in terms of such creature comforts as leg room, there are few other places (Yankee Stadium, Wrigley Field) that can give a true baseball fan the same little thrill you get at Fenway. (For the record: I think the Yankees are insane if they can't find a way to preserve Yankee Stadium.)
   
4. The Red Sox have more experience: Come on, aging 'boomers,don't we all still believe that experience, like, matters.
   
5. The Red Sox have a better punkish theme song: According to Wikipedia, the Rockies' song is Get Free by The Vines, with sample lyrics like "When it's breeding time/Look into your mind away." (I'm not making this up.) The Red Sox have the Dropkick Murphys' Tessie. While the lyrics don't make 100% sense, surely a song that starts "Tessie, Nuf Ced McGreevey shouted, we're not here to mess around..." is more compelling and interesting.
   
6. The Red Sox have better lore: One of the advantages of having been around for 100+ years is that you have much better history: The Royal Rooters....Cy Young...First World Series....Babe Ruth sale...Teddy Ballgame...Curt Gowdy...Carlton Fisk homer...Bill Buckner...Teddy Ballgame's head...Greatest comeback in MLB history...The bloody, bloody sock. Teenage angst aside, not all that much has typically happened to a 14 year old. Who's got better lore? Nuf Ced!
   
7. The Red Sox know what to put in a humidor. That would be cigars, not baseballs.
   
8. The Red Sox don't throw fans out who "throw it back." Hey, it's a lot of fun when an opponent hits a homer and the fans all chant "throw it back" until the person who caught the ball tosses it back on the field. Apparently, the Rockies kick out the fans who "throw it back." Talk about no fun spoilsports. They should give their fans the satisfaction of tossing those bad-balls back into the old humidor.
   
9. The Red Sox have generations of players and fans. Again, the Rockies can't help that they've only been around a few years - and props to them for making it to the World Series, by the way. But the Red Sox don't just have dead history, the've got living history: Johnny Pesky, Bobby Doerr, Dom DiMaggio are all still kicking. Not to mention more recent greats - Jim Lonborg, Yaz, et al. Not to mention all those generations of fans. (Yes, however many parvenue pink-hat wearing fans there are, being a Red Sox fan for most New Englanders is about talking baseball with your grandmother who saw Ted Williams' first game; and remembering your dad bringing you to Fenway for the first time; and putting that Red Sox penant on said father's grave after they won The Big One in 2004. [I didn't do it, but I've seen it done.]) And Johnny Pesky won't be around forever. Johnny, who's been associated with the Red Sox pretty near all the time since he played in the 1940's and 1950's, is 88 now. Not getting any younger. It would be nice (for reasons of lore, generations, and out and out sentimentality) to win the World Series for Johnny. And, yes, you can argue that the Red Sox did just that in 2004, but us long-timers would love to see Johnny, who connects up to Red Sox Nation past, present, and future, be around for another win.
   
10. The Red Sox have Manny Ramirez. Much as I enjoy Manny, he is not my favorite player. But what's not to love when one of the team's superstars is quoted - on the brink of an elimination game - saying "If it doesn't happen, so who cares? There's always next year. It's not like it's the end of the world."

Precisely, Manny, and thank you for reminding us to put the entire thing in perspective. It would be nice to win. Like most everyone else around here, I would really, really enjoy a World Series victory - especially if the Sox do my blood pressure and heart a favor by sweeping in a 4 game rout.

But, in truth, while baseball and the Red Sox are wildly entertaining, it is not - as Manny tells us - the end of the world if they lose.

Still, the World Series starts tonight.

Let's Go Red Sox.