The ritual gift exchange. Ridiculous? Sublime? Neither? Both?

Diplomatic gifts are odd and archaic, not to mention silly and wasteful, but it must be kind of fun to be the person in charge of coming up with the perfect gift. 

President Lyndon Johnson, when he met with Pope Paul VI in the late 1960's famously gifted the pontiff with a bronze bust of himself. Come on, who wouldn't want a bust of LBJ? 

The Pope's gift to Johnson was a bit less self-referential. The visit was just before Christmas, and the Pope's gift to LBJ was a 15th century oil painting of a Nativity scene. (Johnson would no doubt have liked it better if they'd painted in his visage over that of the infant Jesus.)

And when Donald Trump visited the Saudis, they gave him a ton of swag, including a cheetah fur-lined robe and a painting of himself. Presidents actually can't keep any gifts valued at more than a nominal cost that are bestowed upon them. They go the National Archives, end up in presidential libraries, or are auctioned off. I don't know if Trump would have gone for the fur-lined robe, but I'm guessing he might have wanted to keep the painting of himself. (Who else would want it?)

No word on what Trump gifted the Saudis with. (Free pass for  killing Jamal Khashoggi, maybe? All wrapped up nice and pretty?)

As Joe Biden is making his first overseas trip, diplomatic gifts are in the news. 

His first visit was with British PM Boris Johnson. 

Joe gave BoJo a custom-made bicycle and helmet valued at $6K. 

The bike presented by Biden was emblazoned with the U.S. and British flags and offered as "a gesture of friendship and in recognition of their shared interest in cycling," according to the White House. (Source: Newsweek)

Seems like a thoughtful enough gift. No one really needs a $6K bicycle, but it's Made in America and at least it's practical, useful. Unlike a bust of LBJ or a cheetah-lined robe. (The thought of that poor cheetah being sacrificed for the likes of anyone, let alone Trump...)

Then I read this:

As part of the customary exchange, Johnson gave Biden a free-to-use Wikipedia photo of a British mural depicting Black 19th century abolitionist Frederick Douglass in return.

My initial reaction, as it so often is to news these days, was WTF. 

How stunningly, colossally cheap. 

I envisioned a picture printed off Wikipedia on an office printer and thrown into a frame from Marks and Spencer. Is Boris Johnson even crazier than I thought he was?

But, no, the gift was actually pretty cool. 

It's a picture taken by photographer Melissa Highton (who holds dual UK-US citizenship) that's really quite artful. And the frame was probably custom. Or from an upscale shop like Harrod's.

The painting, by artist Ross Blair, was done on a wall in Edinburgh, not far from where Douglass stayed when he visited that city. 

The gift is meaningful on a lot of levels. Biden is a history buff, BLM, an American being honored with a mural in the UK, etc. And a photograph of a painting based on a photograph of a man who was the most photographed American of the 19th century? How brilliantly and outrageously meta is that?

I'm writing this post on the Friday before the Bidens meet with Queen Elizabeth. There will be the ritual exchange of gifts, and I'll be curious to see who gets what. 

When Trump visited the Queen, he gifted her with a silver and silk poppy broach. Actually quite nice and thoughtful. Thus, he no doubt had nothing to do with picking it out. (Gifts he gave Shinzo Abe, the Japanese PM, included a boxing glove autographed by Clint Eastwood. Okay.) 

The Queen, in turn, gave Trump a fancy edition of Winston Churchill's multi-volume history of World War II. Abridged edition. (No comment.)

Ah, the ritual gift exchange. Ridiculous? Sublime? Neither? A little of both?

Or am I just jealous that no one's giving me any cool, interesting, useless, wacky, or wonderful ritual gifts?

Just as well. At my age, I'm de-accessioning, not acquiring.