Airline fast food. Yummers.

I don't know about you, but I've had plenty of memorable airline meals. Memorably awful.

The worst was a beef meal on Alitalia. We'd ordered the chicken option, but they'd run out by the time they got to our row, so we were presented with a little round steak that resembled nothing more than a hockey puck. It was about the consistency of a hockey puck as well, as we found when we attempted to cut into it with our little plastic knives and forks, which shattered on impact. 

Then there was the NY shuttle which, back in the day when quickie flights fed you, gave flyers on the 6:30 a.m. a hardboiled egg in a little plastic cup. Arguably a better meal than the sticky mini-blueberry muffin that left a residue of cake on your fingers. And better than the plain, taste-free, partially frozen bagel. But still, there's something queasy-making about being handed a boiled egg - boiled when? - in a lidded plastic cup at 6:30 a.m. I can't remember which airline it was. There've been so many that ran the Logan-LaGuardia route over the years, and during my peak business travel years when I was a regular on that run, I took them all at one point or another. But, since that little boiled egg breakfast was so nauseating, I'm going to go with Trump Air.

Oh, traveling in first or business - thank you, oh frequent-flyer-genius husband - I have had some reasonably edible food. But mostly meh. So meh that when American Airlines - again, this is in the wayback when I traveled frequently on business -  stopped giving hot meals to passengers in steerage and handed flyers a half of a Subway sandwich and a bag of Sunchips, it was cause for celebration.

When I travel these days, and it's a longish flight, I bring along something to snack ot - nothing messy or smelly, mind you, unlike the louts who bring on hefty, suppurating, odiferous tuna subs, and are always sitting next to me. But sustenance, especially needed in case of any problems with the flight.

But I must admit that, when a meal is offered, I generally take it, even though if you were blindfolded you probably couldn't say exactly what you're eating. And I'll pick around the edges of the soupy ravioli, the tough chicken, and past-prime salad. Mostly out of boredom rather than hunger. And never worth the calories. 

Apparently, there are others who have a greater appreciation of fine culinary offerings from airlines. Or maybe AirAsia really does have good food. Anyway, they've just opened a fast-food restaurant that serves airline meal:

"We have seen a significant appetite for our in-flight menu offerings beyond our flights across the region and this is our answer to that demand," said Catherine Goh, general manager of Santan Restaurant and T&CO Cafe. "We are very proud to extend what started out as an inflight menu into new markets." AirAsia is so confident that its unique establishment will be a massive hit that it already has plans for rapid expansion.

“By the end of 2020, we aim to have five owned Santan restaurants and 100 franchisee-operated restaurants and cafes within the next three to five years with expansions in global markets,” said Goh. (Source: ABC News)

Okey dokes.

I guess it can't be any worse than Taco Bell, Roy Rogers or Arby's, can it?

Still...

The high-techniness of the Santan operation will no doubt add to the overall experience, by providing its customers with something called a "personal digital journey." Also known as find a way to sell you more.

The restaurant and cafe features a smart menu equipped with Artificial Intelligence and machine learning, which is able to recommend popular dishes based on time, past ordering patterns as well as demographic tast," said Goh.

Well, a truly smart menu probably wouldn't offer airline food to begin with. But what do I know. My niece Molly was in Thailand this past spring and said that on a one-hour flight, they were offered a duck dish that was okay. In any case the company's "ultimate goal is to open a location in New York's Times Square."

With all the places to eat in NYC, who'd go for fast airlines food? Worse and more improbable things have happened, but seriously folks, airline food is bad enough when it's free and you're trapped in a metal tube, tens or thousands of feet above earth, hurtling towards your destination. Who wants to actually pay for it when you're free to walk around the cabin of life and get something good?