Sure, you can read the Wall Street Journal to learn all about WaMu going Chapter 11, who’s going to buy Volvo, and what surprised-to-hear-you-of-all-people-say-that things Karl Rove is going to write about in his regular op-ed. (Yawn.)
Or you can read it for the far more interesting news that The Banana Club Museum, of Hesperia, California, has been asked to vacate its (metaphorical) fruit bowl, and find another place where Ken Bannister, founder and head of the International Banana Club, can exhibit the “17,000 banana-themed artifacts” that he’s bunched together over the last 38 years or so.
According to the WSJ article, the top banana at the Hesperia Recreation & Parks District, which has been housing the Banana Museum for the last few years, wants to make way for an exhibit that recounts local history.
Well, I’m quite certain that Hesperia has quite the history – what town doesn’t? – and my visit to their web site was amply rewarded. There I read that:
The City’s history stretches far beyond its 1988 incorporation. Hesperia’s past is rich with the history of the Mojave Indian Tribe, Spanish settlers and the westward travelers of the Mormon Trail.
The first major turning point in present day Hesperia occurred in 1874, when the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe railroad tracks were completed. This resulted in Hesperia’s first industry, providing juniper wood to bakers in Los Angeles by way of train. Juniper is a very hard wood that was used as fuel for kilns up until the early 1900s, when oil became the principal fuel for bakers. That change in technology did not slow Hesperia’s progress.
The 1900s were a booming time with the increased popularity of automobiles and Route 66. The City served as the last stopping point before travelers made the treacherous trip down the Cajon Pass.
Okay. With a history that “stretches far beyond its 1988 incorporation”, they must have plenty of historical stuff to strut.
Maybe I thought the Mormon Trail ended in Utah, but Hesperia historians no doubt have a wagon wheel, or a repro Conestoga wagon they want to show off – replete with 1950’s department store dummies wearing long, drab dresses and sunbonnets.
The Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe connection will surely account for some additional artifacts – no doubt including a video of Judy Garland singing the eponymous tune.
Then they’ll need room for the exhibit of ovens and plastic loaves of bread.
Not to mention the replica of the cool Corvette that Buzz and Todd drove cross-country in Route 66.
So I understand that Hesperia needs room for its history. But its hard to believe that there are enough Hesperia-related artifacts to displace all 17,000 of the Banana Museum’s collection, which, the Banana Club’s website informs us,
..is now listed in the Guiness Book Of World Records as the the "WORLDS LARGEST COLLECTION devoted to any one fruit!
Perhaps, as generally happens with bananas, the museum has started to rot a bit, turn soft, blacken, attract a nimbus of fruit flies. Maybe it’s time to fire up a juniper-fueled baking oven and make banana bread.
Which is, apparently, what Mr. Bannister is trying to do, in his own way. When he got his eviction notice, he decided to split amiably. But he would like to recoup some of the $150K he’s invested in his collection over the years. Thus:
The entire collection went up for auction on eBay in the beginning of February at "bargain price" of $45,000. "No bites," Mr. Bannister says.
Two weeks after his initial auction, he lowered his price to $35,000, then again and again to $7,500, taking out his Internet domain name and branding rights. Still no bidders.
Wow! $150K in and not even worth $7.5K out. And I thought I’ve made some lousy investments.
But I suppose that, for Mr. Bannister, it was a labor of love.
So, what’s in the collection?
All sorts of stuff, as you can see from this picture taken from The Banana Club’s site. (I’m assuming that’s Mr. Bannister in the neat-o yellow jump suit.)
If you want to get in the weeds, the collection’s divided into a few sections. Hard goods, includes:
…bananas made of brass, glass, lead, wood, plastic, ceramic, cement, soap and gold plated bananas. There are banana pipes, banana trees, pins, charms, belts, magnets, rings, cups, glasses, banana slicers, clocks, musical bananas, banana records, software, knives, and banana lights…and even the world’s only infamous “Petrified Banana.”
I absolutely know all about petrified bananas, but I wasn’t aware that there was only one infamous version. And now I know where it is.
There’s a curated food, drink and notions section which I would stay far away from. Much as a enjoy a good banana every once in a while – especially on cereal in the morning – I loathe anything that’s banana-flavored or scented (although I kind of enjoyed an occasional banana Popsicle as a kid – bet they don’t make those quiescently frozen confections anymore).
There’s a clothing section, and a soft goods section that includes an “eight-foot yellow banana couch.” (Thanks for letting us know it’s yellow. I was wondering…)
By the way, just in case you were wondering.
NOTE: Nothing lude, crude or lucivious to do with bananas is accepted or displayed in this B.M.
Crude and lucivious I get, but you just might want to drop a ‘lude before you went into the Museum.
Not that there’ll be any more opportunities to do so, what with the B.M. being displaced.
But I’m not giving up hope that the Museum will find a new home. If nothing else, you’d think that this would hold some appeal for one of the Ripley’s Believe It or Not museums.
Anyway, good luck to The Man in the Yellow Suit. Hope he finds a taker.
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