Recession Proof Jobs

A week or so ago, I saw an article in The Boston Globe on recession-proof jobs.

High on the list are math and science teaching jobs, as well as school counselors and administrators, English Language Learners teachers, and special needs teachers.

This may not do the complete trick in states with declining school age populations, i.e., places like Massachusetts. But if you're willing to live in the sun and fun in Nevada, you'll probably find yourself a relatively stable teaching job.

Cyber security experts will stay in demand. As will national security "personnel," i.e., the military which, not surprisingly, is having a hard time meeting its recruiting goals these days. Of course, a good recession might help that along.

Other in-demand security workers include FBI or CIA agent, TSA security officer, private security guard, corrections officer, and border patrol agent.

FBI and CIA are pretty high end, but TSA security officer and private security guard aren't exactly well paid or respected professions. Corrections officer sounds pretty grim, but as long as we keep such a high percentage of our population behind bars they'll always have work, I suppose. And as long as we continue to fear the invasion of the job-snatching aliens, we'll need those border patrol agents. (Why wouldn't I like them better if I thought that they were on the lookout for potential terrorists, as opposed to poor folks who want to do crappy, menial jobs - like working in a chicken factory - that nobody else wants?)

Environmental work is a growth industry, thankfully.

But beware of that use of the word "environmental". Just like the word "green" is getting thrown into pretty much every marketing campaign out there, the word environmental is being a little abused, as I saw when I looked at some recent data on hospital employment.

When I saw how many folks were working as environmental aides - pretty much second only to nurses in terms of employment numbers - it took me a moment to realize they were talking about cleaning people.

Bartenders, waitresses, and waiters are apparently recession-proof, largely because they're such tough, thankless jobs that there's lots of turnover. (Personally, even though marketing is hardly a recession-proof profession, I'm pretty sure I'll never have to go back to waitressing - even though every once in a while, I realize that I have aged into the point where I would now make a bona fide Durgin-Park cranky old bitch of a waitress, which I surely was not when I worked there 30+ years ago as a sweet young thing. For those not familiar with D-P, it's one of Boston's oldest restaurants, and is famous for its surly old waitresses. Or at least it used to be.)

Health services jobs - nurses, physicians' assistants, et al. - make up about half of the recession-proof jobs, and my favorite job on that list is sleep technologist.

The employment figures for this job - admittedly lumped into a "health technicians and technologists, all other" category - is a staggering 79,00, projected to grow to 91,000 by 2016.

This, I'm quite certain, overstates the case for sleep technologists. Their own organization - the American Association of Sleep Technologists (AAST) -  claims 3,300 members, which sounds more like it. (They even have a publication called A2Zzz, but you have to be a member to get your hands on it.)

There may not be 79,000 of them, but I have no doubt that the profession is a growth one.

What with the overstimulating environment we live in, the wireless waves, the caffeine, the sugared and chemicaled up food. What with worrying about the recession, the rising ocean level, and the general tension of living in the post-modern world (and the post-American century), is it any wonder that we aren't sleeping all that well?