Colonel Mustard Did It

Is it just me, or do certain things confer an aura of value and goodness?

I observed this in business, when I realized that if you priced your product above the competition, purchasers - at least some of them, at least some of the time, at least for a while - assumed is was better than the competition.

In much the same way, I have found that it's harder to figure out whether an actor with a posh British accent is any good or not than it is to figure out an American bad actor.

And speaking of bad actors, it's always a bit surprising to me when someone with a severe disability turns out to be a criminal. C.f., the quadriplegic cornhole champion who's facing murder charges in Maryland. (He's claiming self-defense.)

Thanks to a similar halo effect, it goes against my grain when someone running an offbeat, homespun sort of business engages in bad business behavior. So I just don't expect the owner of New Hampshire's Old Dutch Mustard Co., a small family-owned business that's been around more than 80 years, to be a river-polluting lout and no-goodnik.

But last month, having pled guilty in February 2025, Charles Santich was sentended to 18 months in a federal stir "for knowingly polluting the Souhegan River." He was also hit with a $250K fine, and his company was levied an additional $1.5M.

That's a lot of mustard and vinegar...

Anyway, Old Dutch has been skirting environmental requirements since the 1980's, and their bad behavior finally caught up with them.

“Throughout years of repeated civil and administrative attempts to encourage Santich and his company to follow the law, Santich lied to state and federal authorities and even purposefully built the illegal infrastructure needed to pump his manufacturing waste into New Hampshire’s waterways, pushing his employees to help him violate the law,” [US Attorney Erin] Creegan said in a statement.

She said the pollution left waterways with fewer fish and impacted homeowners and people who use the river for recreation. (Source: Boston Globe)

Santich ordered employees "to pump acidic waste water and stormwater through an underground pipe leading to the Souhegan River so he could save on shipping costs," and threatened to fire them if they didn't comply. Santich regularly submitted false documents to regulators, blocked the EPA from getting info on his company's practices, and directly lied to inspectors. When NH state folks found that waste water from Old Dutch smelled suspiciously like vinegar. Inspectors got a search warrant and sleuthed out the illegal discharge pipe.

Shame on Charles Santich, ya bum ya! And his company has the (vinegar and) gall to brag about their environmental bona fides:

A tree farm continues to be planted on the [company] property. Old Dutch maintains the tree farm as a way to show care for the environment.

Some care for the environment! 

To my knowledge, I haven't used any Old Dutch products. My vinegar - white and apple cider - is Heinz. My mustard is French's (yell0w), Gulden's (brown), or Maille (whole grain pommery). But Old Dutch products are often private labeled or used by food services, so I may have consumed their wares somewhere along the line. I like to support small local companies, but not this one. You best believes I'll be BOLO-ing. 

Meanwhile, all I have to say is:

It Was Old Dutch Mustard,With an Illegal Discharge Pipe, in the Souhegan River.

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Image Source: Reddit Boardgames forum