Polly want a crackhead?

This story is something straight out of an old Perry Mason episode - "The Case of the Squawking Parrot." Or maybe a Columbo, where Inspector Columbo, on his way out the door, turns to the perp and says, "I just noticed that you've got a new cover over your birdcage. Now, Mrs. Columbo is thinking of getting a parakeet, so if you wouldn't mind if I took a peek under the cover of your cage...." Inspector Columbo gestures towards the birdcage with his unlit cigar, and then walks over to lift a corner of the cover... 

But it wasn't an old American TV rerun that involved a talkative bird. It it was an actual English crack and heroin drug bust, case solved thanks to a parrot who knew too much:

A drug ring of 15 people in Blackpool was taken down by the tiny yellow bird — who was also seen in videos playing with drug money — after police seized gang leader Adam Garnett’s cellphones, according to the Lancashire Constabulary.

Videos allegedly show [Garnett's GF/partner Shannon] Hilton teaching her less-than-cagey critter to say “two for 25” — apparent payment for bags of the dope — “in front of a child” and “the parrot playing with money, which was gained through their illegal activities,” police said. (Source: NY Post)

It's interesting to note that Garnett was conducting business with his human and avian gang members while he was in a cage of his own. He was already serving a sentence for his prior criming, and he's now got another 19 years tacked on. Hilton's going away for 12 years, and other members of the gang have also been given hefty sentences. 

Much of the evidence in the case was collected from the cellphones of the gang members. There were those incriminating videos of the stool pigeon parrot, singing like a bird; and Hilton's phone had "a clip of what appeared to be bricks of cocaine with music with the lyric “cocaine” playing over it."

In addition, police found that one gang member: 

...kept a record in notes of his dealings, including price lists and transactions, Lancashire Police said. He was also found to have researched and sent links to stories discussing county lines to his contacts. (Source: BBC)

Another member, a fellow who lived in the wonderfully named town of Leighton Buzzard, had videos that:

...showed him walking through [Blackpool], carrying a significant amount of cash, and rapping about his criminality. 

What a bunch of birdbrains! 

I always have to laugh when criminal enterprises are brought down by incriminating messages, searches, and videos found on cellphones. Tell me again why they're called smartphones?

This case, of course, has the added factor of the parrot - an innocent drawn into cahoots with the criminals solely for his excellent ability to parrot what his owner was saying. No word on who's taken custody of the unnamed parrot. Maybe someone who'll help him clean up his language. At minimum he should be squawking about wanting a cracker, not yacking about the price of crack.

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Image Source: BBC