Not THIS sliced bread

I don't always buy sliced bread.

Sometimes I get a baguette. Sometimes I go down to the North End (Boston's Italian section) and buy an unsliced loaf of something or other. But in truth, sliced bread is just a lot easier to manage. When I'm slicing bread, I tend to end up with pieces of pretty widely varying widths, varying from thick to thin between slices, and often within an individual slice that starts off at a reasonable width at the top before tapering off to next to nothing at the bottom. This makes my DIY sliced bread less than ideal for making a sandwich. Which, 99% of the time, is what I'm using the bread for.

So yay for sliced bread!

Unless, of course, the bread is sliced white from Japan's Pasco Shikishima Corporation (one of the country's leading bread brands), which recently had to recall over 100K loaves of white bread goodness "after black rat parts were found in at least two packs."

“It has recently come to light that a foreign object (a part of what appears to be a small animal) has been mixed into the ‘Super Mature 5-Slice’ produced by Shikishima Baking Co., Ltd.'s Pasco Tokyo-Tama Factory,” the company wrote in a statement on Tuesday, May 7 on their website. (Source: People)

Admittedly, two out of 100K is pretty good odds that you're going to find rat remains in your loaf. But if you're one of the unlucky duo to discover a "foreign object" when you're all set for a PBJ - or a tamago, the egg sandwich that's the most popular sammie in Japan. (I wouldn't have guessed that Japan is much of a sandwich society, but towards the end of the 19th century, when aspects of Western culture (like baseball) were being adopted, sandwiches crept onto the menu.) 

Anyway, I'm intrigued by the name of the infested loaves: Super-Mature 5-Slice. 

Why can't we have interesting names for our loaves of bread. Wonder. Pepperidge Farm. Dave's. Boring!

Not that Super-Mature 5-Slice makes all that much.

Maybe's it's lost in translation, but Super-Mature bread sounds like it's just about to go completely stale or moldy. (On the other hand, it could be aimed for old folks. In which case...)

I'm also curious about the 5-Slice thing.

I really like the idea that you can buy small loaves of bread. If a half loaf of bread were available from my brands of choice (Pepperidge Farm, Nashoba Brook Bread), I'd be all in. But five slices? That's 2.5 worth of sandwiches, which makes no sense. Sure, it could be five days worth of a piece of morning toast, but from a sandwich perspective, it just doesn't work.

But the Google reveals that Super-Mature also comes in 4-Slice and 6-Slice versions.

Wish we had these options. 

Needless to say, the company's mea culpa was super polite:

“We deeply apologize for the inconvenience and inconvenience caused to our customers, business partners and all concerned parties,” they added. “We will strive to further strengthen our quality control system and take all possible measures to ensure that such a situation does not occur again in the future. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation.”

Even though I'm unlikely to ever buy a Super-Mature 4, 5, or 6 Slice loaf, I'm relieved that the company is going try "to further strengthen our quality control system."  

After all, I'm a super-mature fan of sliced bread, wherever it comes from and goes to.

Anyway, this sitch got me wondering where the phrase "the best thing since sliced bread" came from. So I looked around, and was super disappointed to learn that the phrase became popular after comedian Red Skelton used it in an interview in 1952. He used it in comparison to TV, which he dubbed "the greatest thing since sliced bread."

Now, I'm not going to argue with the proposition that TV is great. But I wish the phrase had been uttered by someone I was a bit more enamored with than Red Skelton. Admittedly, when I was a very little kid, I found Red Skelton hilarious. (God Blessth Clem Kadiddlehopper.) As a grownup, I'm embarrassed that I ever found him funny. (Ditto for Jerry Lewis.)

Although, given the Red Skelton provenance, I'll be reluctant to ever utter the words "[X] is the greatest thing since sliced bread," I'll remain a fan of s.b. Just not ‘Super Mature 5-Slice’ from Shikishima Baking.