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Tuesday, July 09, 2024

And the winner is...or not

Yesterday, my post was on a Vegas high-roller. Today, we'll travel to Florida and meet a couple of folks on the lower end of the gambling spectrum. 

Kira Enders and Dakota Jones decided to try to execute a get-sorta-rich-quick scheme by "crudely" taping together parts of two scratch tickets, and - stating that they had just tried to repair a ticket that had accidentally been ripped - they went in to Florida Lottery to claim a million dollar prize with it. It almost goes without saying that the scheme failed and the duo are now facing grand theft and intent to defraud charges. 

Here's how the criminal masterminds went about things:
FOX reported that Enders allegedly brought the ticket to a Florida Lottery office in Pensacola on March 1, and officials immediately designated it as a "non-winner." Enders also signed official forms at the time acknowledging that there could be legal consequences if she had tampered with a ticket, according to a report from the Sheriff's Office.

According to the Pensacola News Journal, Special Agent Richard Pisanti later received a call from Enders on March 7 asking about the status of the ticket. The investigator asked her to come to the Florida Lottery office on March 11, and both Enders and Jones, who drove her to the office, were "immediately detained and separated for investigation," per the outlet. (Source: People)

OK, Enders was so dumb and/or drugged out that she tried to pass off their fake ticket; and when she was told it was a "non-winner," she was dumb and/or drugged enough to sign a form acknowledging that she could get in trouble if she had tampered with the ticket; and she was dumb and/or drugged out enough to call to check on a ticket that had been declared a non-winner; and then the two of them were dumb and/or drugged out enough to drive right into the trap that Florida Lottery had set for them. 

When confronted with their crime:  

Enders allegedly asked Pisanti: "What, they don't go together?" per the affidavit, and Jones told the investigator that "they are honest people and they aren't into fraud."

Good to know "they aren't into fraud."

"Jones advised that he didn't know it was a crime to bring it to the lottery office but it was not their intentions to get over on the lottery," the affidavit reads, per FOX.

Right.

These two are clearly dumb and/or drugged out. As far as I know being dumb isn't a crime. And being drugged out, well, that's more misfortune and poor life choices than criminal, if you didn't crime your way into drugginess. 

So I can't help wondering why the Florida Lottery crew didn't just laugh Kira Enders out of their offices to begin with. Maybe Enders and Jones have been criming, and the po-lice were just looking for a chance to nab them. But, just based on the lottery ticket crime, I have to ask whether there's so little real crime in Florida that the state is going after these two boobs.

Why didn't the person at Florida Lottery just tell Enders that the ticket was clearly fraudulent. That she was a numbskull to try to "get over on the lottery." That she needed to knock off the dumbness and drugged-out-ness and not try something so idiotic again.

After their arrests, Enders and Jones each managed to bond out of jail. Not clear what happened at their May court date. Unless I'm missing something, these aren't hardcore criminals. They need help and, most assuredly, a kick in their dumb and/or drugged out asses. But do they need to go to jail? Maybe not...

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